Culture Speak: “Comfort”

Cultural Context:  “The definition of comfort is very interesting. Comfort means hug, comfort means cry, comfort means smile, comfort means listen. Comfort also means, in many cases, assure the parent or the spouse that any decision made about troops in combat will be made with victory in mind, not made about my personal standing in the polls or partisan politics.” ~ President George Bush in an interview with the Washington Times.

Tidings of comfort and joy…
According to an article in the Washington Times, it seems that for the past seven years, President Bush has been regularly devoting time to meeting with wounded soldiers and the families of those killed in action in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq as well as writing personal letters to the families of those lost in the line of duty.  A Fox News article introducing the Washington Times story reported that he has visited with over 500 families of soldiers killed in action and over 950 wounded military personnel, and has written over 4000 personal letters of comfort to those who have lost loved ones.  Both the President and First Lady commented in the article about the incredible (and emotional) experience of sharing not only the anguish of loss with those families, but also the joy the families felt in helping the Bushes get to know something personal about the soldiers who sacrificed so much.

Now, I’ll admit that the EyeJunkie CultureSpeak “column” is sometimes filled with outrage, sarcasm or snarky comments about just how ludicrous some of our cultural and media terminology really is.  But, not so with this one.  I had to write this one as a testimony to how impressed I am with George and Laura Bush.  I know it’s not popular.  His approval rating is probably somewhere in the tweens about now.  But, this man is undettered in his commitment to what he believes is right.  That’s impressive.  It takes quite a lot of courage to be willing to look into the eyes of a mother who has just lost her son in a war you sent him to fight–a war it seems in vogue to criticize.  Despite what we read in the papers, the Bushes recall that most of the families they’ve met have said their soldiers chose to fight–wanted to serve and understood the need to fight and win this war.

What is just as impressive as his commitment of time and energy consoling grieving families is the fact that his mission of comfort has (by intention) largely been conducted under the radar of the ever-vigilant media.  Given the voraciousness of our media machine, that’s quite an endeavor.  His efforts have only been publicized when at the request of one of the veterans or military families.  The president and his staff have diligently guarded his meetings with loved ones to protect their privacy and allow them to express their grief without the flash of cameras.  Now, with less than one month left in office, the story is reported–not at times 2 years or 5 years ago when a boost in the polls provided by such patriotism might have been used to pass a bill, confirm pubic support or influence an election.

At the risk of slipping into something snarky, however, I have to say that as impressed as I am with George Bush, I’m equally as unimpressed with the lack of reporting on this 7-year phenomenon.  While I am thankful on behalf of the families concerned that they have not been exposed to the scrutiny of Joe-the-Plumber fame, I’m also disappointed that noone seemed interested in sniffing out the President’s tidings of comfort.  Consider that I can’t enjoy 24 hours without finding out the color of Brittney Spears underwear or the latest shopping purchase of Paris Hilton.  Yet, 1450 visits and a 4000-piece letter writing campaign has gone unnoticed?

4000 letters.  That’s more than one hand-written personal correspondence a day for the last seven years.  From the President of the United States.  The Washington Times article was extensive, but Fox News… 228 words.  CNN… no mention.  The national media’s “closer look” at the lives of the fallen has considerably fallen by the wayside beyond the first news cycles of the wars, while the President’s has been a more than 2500-day mission of mercy.

Regardless of your view of politics and the war–regardless of mine–I am thankful for a Commander in Chief who has taken time to count the cost more intimately than most making the headlines.  I am thankful for the integrity revealed in his unnoticed comforting.  I am thankful for his courage to expose himself to the criticism–not of pundits, journalists and starlets, but of those who have given their most precious gifts to the cause.  I am thankful for the perseverance he’s shown in staying the course despite detractors.  I am thankful for his quiet resistance to using the pain of others for political gain.  I’ll say it again.  I’m impressed.

CultureSpeak: Monetize

Cultural context:  The term used to describe Illinois Governor Blagojevich’s goal in engaging in on-going illegal activities for which he was arrested on federal corruption charges on Tuesday, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office official press release about the arrest.

I’ve really only seen the term “monetize” applied to blogging, meaning to find ways for your blog generate income.  I’d never seen it applied to relationships as described in the press release: 

“…Blagojevich and others discussed various ways Blagojevich could monetize the relationships he has made as governor to make money after leaving that office.” 

But, I guess I’m lacking a frame of reference since I try to build my relationships based on something other than how people can be encouraged to give me money–a practice apparently foreign in the Illinois Governor’s office.

The press release, posted on FoxNews.com, describes in detail some of the activities of Blagojevich and his staff to garner financial rewards for the Governor and his wife in exchange for various political favors and/or government appointments.  The key appointment brought to light in the indictment is the vacant Senate seat of President-Elect Obama.  Particularly interesting (self-interesting I should say) were the accounts of conversations in which Gov. Blagojevich discussed the possible appointment of himself to the Senate seat.  Apparently he felt that a sitting Senator could command a few more bucks than a sitting Governor.  It was also interesting to see that he also felt the Senate seat could put him in position for a possible 2016 run for president (where, no doubt, he would search for ways to monetize his new-found relationships with terror states and dictatorships) He also expressed his “frustration at being stuck as governor.”  I’d be willing to bet that he was not half as frustrated as the voters of Illinois are today at being “stuck” with him.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office release eloquently (and disturbingly) emphasized that evidence shows Governor Blagojevich sought to “put a for sale sign on the naming of a United State Senator.”  The release states that “Blagojevich analogized his situation to that of a sports agent shopping a potential free agent to the highest bidder.”  Sadly, I’m sure there were some standing in line with cash in hand to buy whatever Mr. Blagojevich had to offer.  I am appalled and baffled at the sheer arrogance revealed in the conversation transcripts presented with the indictment.  Just what else are we willing to hang a “for sale” sign on?

A good name
The dignity of a Governor’s office
The trust of hard-working people
The pride of a job well and fairly done
The legitimacy of elections
The voice of the people
Upright morals
Integrity
Democracy

This whole situation is a complete and total mockery of the Illinois voters’ good will and of the concept of a representative goverment as a whole.  It reveals the self-interest rather than people-interest of the political system that made many of our earliest leaders despise the concept of career politicians.  It is a rare man who can maintain a selfless position in good conscience when faced with power and influence, and Mr. Blagojevich falls staggeringly short.

On another interesting note, I’m shaking my head that somewhere in Illinois some group of people is actually debating with a straight face whether it would be appropriate for Governor Blagojevich to resign.  And, that debate apparently has enough credence for President-Elect Obama to issue a statement calling for the Goveror’s resignation.  We can’t seem to see the common sense forest for the jurisprudence trees. 

Thankfully, it seems that despite some of the media’s best efforts, any “-gate” involving President-Elect Obama’s connection to the corruption is a non-story.  The wire taps apparently show that Obama aides made it clear the Governor would receive no more and no less than the president’s verbal appreciation for any consideration of Obama’s suggested appointees.  If there is a bright side to this debaucle, that’s it.  Although I did not support Obama during the election, now that he’s poised to take the oath, I want him to succeed for the sake of my family, for the sake of my country.  I hope that he will be able to begin his presidency unencumbered by this pitiful display of corruption and the media circus encircling it.

10th Day of Thanksgiving: In Times of Trouble

Abraham Lincoln’s first proclamation of the national day of Thanksgiving was issued on October 3, 1863 during the midst of the Civil War.  Although other presidents had set aside similar days, Lincoln’s was the first that established the national holiday.  

It’s interesting to me that he was able to find a heart of gratitude and encourage it in the whole nation at such a devastating time in our history–a time when not even today’s political sparring can compare to the bitterness that existed between differing ideologies.  Just three months prior to the proclamation (to the day) the bloodiest battle in American history ended in the fields of Gettysburg, PA.  Lincoln firmly believed in the cause of unity and the freedom of all men, but it did not make him popular.  Even in the Union camp, he wasn’t a golden boy.  In fact, he was only a last minute addition to the podium when he gave his profound speech dedicating the battleground at Gettysburg as a National Cemetery–the follow-up speaker, no less.  Yet, despite criticism and the weight of the conflict, he was able to adopt a thankful spirit.  He obviously felt that being thankful was very important.  I have read that during his administration, he often declared days of thanksgiving for his staff.  The 1863 proclamation just extended this practice to the entire nation.

Although it seems paradoxical, sometimes the most perilous times are when we realize we have the most to be thankful for.  It’s when we have the most to lose that we realize how much we really have.  Troubled times reveal what is truly important.   When circumstances spin out of our control, we are keenly aware of our own helplessless.  When mistakes and missteps come so quickly, we are overwhelmed by our own inadequacies.  At these times in life, we can often more easily recognize the blessings in our lives that we had no hand in creating.  Maybe it gives me a sense of control, or maybe it just settles my spirit to think of something basic, but for me, when the big things seem to be in peril, I find comfort (and sanity) by looking at the small things–the simple blessings and joys that inspire gratitude.

When I read Lincoln’s proclamation, I noticed a few things he seemed to understand about thanksgiving, God and people:

1.  Learning to recognize bounty is important.

2.  We tend to forget the source of our blessings while we’re being blessed.

3.  We almost always have more to be thankful for than we realize.

4.  Blessings should soften our insensitive hearts.

5.  God is ever-watchful.

6.  Knowing Who to thank is important.

7.  God is merciful.

8.  Setting aside time for thanksgiving is important.

9.  Being thankful together has power.

10.  Thanksgiving is all-inclusive.  Everyone can participate.

11.  Thanksgiving is inevitably entwined with praise.

12.  God is higher than we are.

“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God…

They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens…”

~ Abraham Lincoln, October 3, 1863

My Vote Counted and other Election Debris.

Today I called the number.  I got the feeling that they don’t get many calls like mine, following up on an affidavit ballot.  But, after briefly describing my voting experience to the nice lady at the Chancery Clerk’s office, I now know that my vote was added to the tally.

As I’ve written before, occasionally media debris gets piled up in my brain–those random thoughts and observations that need an outlet before the maid service comes in.  Hence, the random Election Debris: 

1.  ABC news sported 50 states in 50 days during the primary season, an impressive endeavor.  I saw one woman and daughter from somewhere in the east (maybe West Virginia, I wasn’t paying attention).  They said their key issues for the election were “choice” and “equal pay for equal work.”  I’m wondering when we got to the place in our society when one word– “choice” –could immediately be understood my men, women and children alike to mean there’s no law that would prevent me from choosing to abort my unborn child.  Is that progress?

2.  ”I’m pro-life and pro-gun.” — from U.S. Senate candidate’s ad.  Life and gun.  Strange bedfellows.  But, there’s the Republican Party for you.

3.  Seeing the electoral map in all it’s red and blue glory a full (count them) six weeks before the election.  There’s something troubling about that.

4.  And, the Contrived-Programming-While-Trying-Our-Hardest-to-Look-Natural Award goes to… CNN! For the program (which I only caught a few minutes of) featuring a discussion of politics and the economy held at Delmonico’s in NYC around a poker table (3-sided, mind you. must leave room for the cameras).  Men and women with poker chips and high ball barware — what, no cigars?  Not politically correct, I guess.

5.  Roger Wicker & Ronnie Musgrove Senatorial ads ad nauseum.  Where’s the Pepto when you need it.

6.  General amazement at what makes it above the cable/digital fold:  Sarah Palin’s pregnant daughter segues to Barak Obama’s terrorist neighbor segues to John McCain’s campaign suspension segues to Joe the Plumber’s tax returns segues to Mickey Mouse registers to vote

7.  Sometime during October, I sensed a strange absence.  Where is Joe Biden?  His name wasn’t even on the Obama ads.

8.  And, the You-May-Think-It’s-About-News-But-It’s-Really-All-About-Me-and-My-Profession Award goes to… A string of top news topics: Tina Fey.  Katie Couric’s interview questions.  ”What [insert candidate name here] needs to do is - ahem - as if [insert candidate name here] watches this program - chuckle chuckle.”  CNN facts across the bottom of the screen — thank you CNN, especially for letting me know the accomplishments of your reporters.

9.  What’s up with the trend showing the tv screens within tv screens?  Flipping your laptop around so the tv cameras can see it?  Tellistrating on the electoral maps?

10.  Bites:  Spread the wealth around.  You betcha.  I am not George Bush.

11.  The View.  There’s Joy sounding cantankerous and all Democratic.  There’s Elisabeth being the token Republican with a “yeah, but” when she could get a word in — although I appreciate that she brought notes on her research a couple of times.  There’s Barbara sounding like the voice of journalistic legitimacy, although didn’t that train leave the station when “daytime talk show host” was added to her resume right after “interviewed Fidel Castro.”  Then, there’s Sherrie–not sure for the longest where she stood, but saw her try to get loud on Elisabeth about McCain divorcing his first wife. I’m sensing some relationship/single motherhood issues from a couple of other comments on non-election segments.  And, then there’s Whoopie trying to appear fair while acknowledging her Democrat allegiance, refereeing the others, making a joke, declaring her friendship with John McCain and the Clintons (there’s a dinner party) and getting to commercial break so everyone gets their paycheck.  Ugh.

12.  Fox News website breaking news — “President-Elect Obama to Step Down From Senate” — duh!

This is EyeJunkie, and I approved this list.

Did My Vote Count?

I cast my vote yesterday at Fire Station No. 3.  Election officials had raised the garage doors to a beautiful Mississippi day, and it made for a nice open-air exercising of my “right” as an American citizen.  It took me about 45 minutes, including the drive across town from work–and that was a long time for my neck of the woods.  I went during the lunch hour expecting some sort of a line, but there were only two people in front of me at the M-Z table.  Yes, I live in a precinct requiring only two alphabetical tables.  The reason it took me so long was that my name was not on the registered voter list.  

I’ve voted in this location before, but only by affidavit.  I had also failed to return the change of registration form I got in the mail after the last election, so the absence of my name was only a minor surprise.  The ladies checked my street name to make sure I was at the right polling station, and then called over an apparently more authoritative poll worker to find out what to do.  He decided to call the Chancery Clerk’s office to determine how best to afford me my one vote.  The Clerk confirmed that another affidavit ballot would be the answer, and I was ushered to a table for further instructions.  The table happened to be in full sun, and I was somewhat blinded by the ballot.  But, having come this far, I was eager to let my voice be heard.  After a brief disappointment that I would not get to use the new electronic voting machines (yes, further evidence of my rural setting), I grabbed my nubby Ebony pencil, ready to avail myself of my enfranchisement.  

Another poll worker showed me the parts of the ballot envelope to complete with my personal information and after a few “hey theres,” “hellos,” and “I’m retired nows” in response to passing voters, he demonstrated how to fold the ballot so that the poll worker initials were in the right spot.  Interesting that no one requested to see any identification, but I suppose Starkville, Mississippi is not a hot bed for over-zealous ACORN voter registration volunteers.  The poll worker signed his name below mine on the completed ballot envelope and gave me a sheet of paper explaining affidavit ballots.  He pointed out the telephone number that I could call “not less than 10 days from this date” to find out (in his words) if my vote counts.  Hmmm.

After a few more reiterations of how to insert my folded ballot (apparently the location of the initials is crucial), I was left to my own voting devices.  When I had finished blackening circles for president, a senator, a representative, a few judges and a hospital bond issue, I inserted my ballot appropriately into the envelope and called over the poll worker.  He again reminded me of the phone number determining if my vote would count and directed me to the ballot box.  It was not the rough wooden ones I’d used in previous years, but a nice, blue canvas one with a seamed slit in the top.  I dropped the envelope in, said my thank yous, and voting was complete.

After what seems like years of campaign coverage, the election is over.  Regardless of which camp you favored, we now know the next president of the United States (and not just because CNN said so.)  Barak Obama has already been declared the 44th president, and I’m still left to wonder (and wait ten days to discover): did my vote count?  

This election was different, somehow.  News reports and candidate speeches indicate that there was a healthy voter turn-out, particularly among younger voters who haven’t been as engaged in the process in previous years.  The sheer months of constant news coverage has given the impression of greater interest this time around.  We’ve been trained by the last two presidential elections to monitor electoral votes, and cable news has been sporting the maps for weeks now.  I noticed that even in my small town precinct there was fallout from voter fraud concerns.  My polling station offered a tabletop display of voting “rules”, the reasons voter identification might be required and the appropriate documents or cards that might qualify.  I haven’t noticed that before.  There was also a huge stop sign printed with a warning that state law prohibits campaigning of any kind within 150 feet of the polling station.  That’s always been the case, but given the overload of media coverage, ad spots and road signs we’ve seen for almost two years now, that 150-foot campaigning-free zone around Fire Station No. 3 was a welcomed relief.

Still,  I’m left to wonder:  did my vote count?  A winner has been announced in most races.  Mississippi belonged to John McCain for the night, and not by a close margin.  News anchors had all but declared Obama the next president before the polls had even closed in California.  The final word on whether my ballot was thrown out will not be determined for 10 more days.   So, did my vote count?  Was it worth the time if my state’s six electoral votes are only a drop in the margin of victory bucket?  Was my trip to Fire Station No. 3 important even it had little to no effect on the election’s outcome?  

The answer:  Yes.  My vote does count.  It may not be the one vote that moves the ticker to 50.1%, but it counts.  Even ten days later, it counts.  It counts when it motivates me to form an opinion.  It counts when it makes me consider how government will effect my life.  It counts when it engages me in debate over where our country is and where it’s going–even when I’m only debating the tv screen.  It counts when it entwines me in an historic moment–for African Americans, women and elder statesmen, nay, for all Americans.  It counts when it attaches responsibility to my citizenship.  It counts when it inspires me to write a post.  

In our great country, voting is a “right” of birth and the completion of a few forms.  In a generation when we, as United States citizens, have become numbed by our own entitlement to speak and be heard, my vote still counts.  It counts because it can impose a term limit that dictators around this world dread and war against.  It counts because it celebrates a “right” that many of the poorest, sickest, most uneducated and displaced citizens in this world would consider a “privilege.”

I’m marking my calendar for Friday, November 14th.  I’m calling the number.  I’m going to find out if my ballot was accepted.  Because my vote is my privilege.  And, it counts.

A New Birth of Freedom

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

 ~ Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863
Gettysburg, PA

Ironically, President Lincoln was not actually the featured speaker at the dedication of the Soldiers’ National Cemetery in Gettysburg.  He was only asked to attend the ceremony seventeen days before the event.  He followed a more than 2 hour oration by Edward Everett with this 2 minute speech that is now recognized as one of the most powerful in American history.

The battle of Gettysburg ended on July 3, 1863 (144 years ago today) with the blood-soaked ground holding more than 7,500 Union and Confederate soldiers who gave the “full measure of devotion” for their respective understandings of freedom. At least 4,700 of those were Confederate soldiers who fought, in part, for the “right” to hold other human beings as possessions.

Some say that Americans have no right to speak to the world on human rights, given some of the atrocities in our own history.  I say, who better to tell the tale of each human’s value than those who have walked through the consequences of our own devaluing?  We can not change the past, but we can not live in it either.  Our voices can not be bound by it.  We can acknowledge it, take responsibility for it, learn from it, and move forward from it.  And, we must share the consequences of it.

“It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work…”

Accidental Profundity

Quote of the day:  “Lies are the new facts”

It took me a few minutes to digest this statement when I read it.  After all, it reportedly came from a segment on “Live with Regis and Kelly,” not the place I would normally expect to hear poignant social evaluation.  But, the more I thought about it, the more astounded I was at just how profound a commentary on our culture the statement really is.

The Context:  During an appearance on the “Live with Regis and Kelly” television program, actress Gina Gershon described a Vanity Fair article that hinted she’d had an inappropriate relationship with former president Bill Clinton as a “crazy, outright lie.”  She further commented that such media stories should never make it into print, but in the common media culture today, “lies are the new facts.”  (See my post on President Clinton’s reaction to the article.)

We often hear these kinds of statements implying more cosmetic shifts in the general perspective — observations like “forty is the new thirty,” or “brown is the new black” — but, never broadened to the all encompassing analysis of true versus false. Continue reading »

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

At least the hardest spoken word.

That’s my impression after reading about several media faux pas this week by public figures and their subsequent “apologies.”   The faux pas at their minimum could be described as public relations nightmares and at most constituted offenses to either individuals, entire states or entire nations.  Oops really doesn’t cover it.

In each case, I was disappointed to see that the offending public figure chose to “release” his/her apology through a spokesperson (sometimes not even his/her own.)  I understand the practicality of that process from a PR standpoint, but on a more basic level I have to wonder:  If they were bold enough to make their statements directly to media in a public forum, why weren’t they bold enough to own up to the offense just as directly with their method of apology?  

Sometimes “sorry” IS the hardest word, especially when “sorry” is only a means to an end — control the damage, salvage an investment, refocus the attention, reiterate a point, make sure you don’t look as ignorant as you sound, etc.

Here are the apologies I read:

The “Everyone Knows I’m Not Sorry for What I Said, and I Would Say It Again in a Heartbeat, but It’s Causing My Wife Some Problems” Apology
This apology was issued by Jay Carson, spokesman for Hillary Clinton’s campaign on behalf of former President Bill Clinton.  In response to a reporter’s question about his reactions to an upcoming unflattering Vanity Fair article, President Clinton called the author sleazy, dishonest, a slimy guy, and a scumbag.  According to the apology, “the language was inappropriate and he wishes he had not used it.”  Yeah, right.  More likely… “I’m trying to minimize another scandal caused by my big mouth while my wife has a white knuckle grip on possible super delegates.  Oh, and by the way, let me use this statement to remind everyone you’re a terrible journalist and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Read the story from CNN here… 

The “I Just Cost My Boss a Ton of Money and They’re Making Me Apologize, but I’m Totally Oblivious to the Magnitude of My Ill-Conceived Comments” Apology
This apology was issued by the Shanghai office of Christian Dior on behalf of it’s current spokesmodel, Sharon Stone.  They also announced that Stone’s ads would not be run in China.  While speaking with a reporter on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, Stone attributed the recent earthquake in China to bad “karma” resulting from China’s poor treatment of Tibet.  According to a FoxNews article about the incident, in the fallout, a major Chinese news agency called Stone the “public enemy of all mankind.”  That can’t be good.  A Foreign Ministry spokesperson also alluded to a possible break in the “mutual trust, understanding and friendship” of the U.S. and China.  Stone’s statement said she felt “deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people.”  She went on to say she would “wholly devote herself” to helping with earthquake relief efforts.  OK.  That should make it all better.
Read the story from FoxNews here… 

– I can’t resist an aside:  What is going on in our celebrity culture that they can take a 5 minute red carpet photo op and offend a country with the largest population in the world, and an (at times) strained relationship with our State Department?  What ever happened to talking about movies?  If you want to deal with social issues, write yourself an OpEd piece for the New York Times — oh, but that would require credibility, coherence and the sign-off of an editor.

– But, I digress.

The “Don’t These People Have a Sense of Humor? I Know It Looks Bad, but I’m Not Running for Anything Right Now So Just Do the Usual” Apology
This apology was issued by Lea Anne McBride, spokeswoman for Vice President Cheney after he offended the state of West Virginia while trying to be a stand-up comedian at the National Press Club.  He subtly implied that the state’s residents are known for in-breeding.  (What was he thinking?)  Responding to denouncements from both Democratic and Republican West Virginia congressmen and the governor, Cheney’s statement said his comments were “not meant to hurt anyone,” and “on reflection, [Cheney] concluded that it was an inappropriate attempt at humor that he should not have made.”  Just how much reflection did that take?  A word to the wise, stick to your day job.
Read the story from FoxNews here… 

(See this article on ehow.com under the title “How to Publicly Apologize, But Not Really“)