11th Day of Thanksgiving: A Continual Feast

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and the close of my 12 Days of Thanksgiving experiment.  I almost called it a “writing experiment,” but it has really been a “heart experiment”–one that has been very rewarding.  I’ve enjoyed the sense of accomplishment that comes with following through on a personal commitment.  I’ve enjoyed taking the effort, time and discipline to explore what Thanksgiving means.  I’ve enjoyed the simple act of posting to this blog every day.  I’ve enjoyed the anticipation of what I would learn.  And, I’ve enjoyed being thankful.

So, what have I learned?

I started with a prayer, first prayed six years ago when my heart was in a similar place.  Did God answer it?  Let’s see:

1.  I repent of a complaining and murmuring spirit, and ask God’s forgiveness for taking His character and blessings for granted.

A complaining and murmuring spirit cannot co-exist with a grateful heart.  It just doesn’t work that way.  In the act of obedience to give thanks “in everything,” even in difficult circumstances or with difficult relationships, I’ve seen God’s mercy anew.  I can see that the times when I thought God was only providing half way were really times when God had his merciful hand of protection around me, shielding me from the full consequences of bad decisions or bad attitudes.  God’s forgiveness is great, and His restoration is greater.

2.  I ask Him to open my eyes to His goodness that is evident in my life, His faithfulness, His love and mercy.

Over the past week or so, by focusing on Thanksgiving, I’ve realized that there are always things, people and situations to be thankful for.  We never really hit the wall on that one.  Just when we think we’ve reached our saturation point, or added the last item to “the list,” our eyes are opened to something new–if we are paying attention.  The unpopular reality is that despair and disappointment is optional.  A grateful heart can always provide us a way out, if we choose to re-focus our eyes to see it.  As I was reminded in reading Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving proclamation, even in the moments we are most insensitive to God’s hand, the magnitude of His blessing overwhelms us.  Thanksgiving is a continual feast, should we choose to partake. 

3.  I choose the thank Him for what He shows me.  I thank Him for His works.  I thank Him for His character.

It is my choice.  Thanksgiving requires a decision on my part.  It requires an effort, an action.  A “thank you.”  Those words, spoken from a re-focused heart are life-changing.  Submission to God and obedience to His commands to be thankful are freeing.  And, it clears my vision to be able to see God’s true character.  God has shown me again so much about His staying power.  In the 5th Day and the 8th Day’s meditations, in particular, God revealed again through His word just how much I have to be thankful for in knowing a God so great.

4.  I ask that this Thanksgiving season be a new turning point in my relationship with God.  Let me “enter Your courts this season.” 

Yes, my heart is saying, “let me enter.”  Thanksgiving has unlocked and swung open the gate revealing the true character of the Almighty.  Praise, motivated by a grateful heart, ushers me into His courts, the place where His character can reign in my life, and in all things.  Psalm 100 has proven true.  Through a season of shying away from God, I’ve come to a moment of drawing near.  And, I’m resting as the verse in James is fulfilled: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (james 4:8)

Thank you, God, for lessons taught and lessons learned today.  Thank you for your patience in teaching them again and again.  Thank you for the light of your presence in our lives.  Thank you for your unending love and mercy that protects, comforts and sustains us.  Bless you, sir.

Amen.

8th Day of Thanksgiving: Prayer of Thanksgiving

God our Father, God our Father
Once again, once again
We would like to thank You.  
We would like to thank You.
Amen.  Amen.

We thank You that You have even “taken thought”of us, You whose spoken thought brought the universe into existence.  (psalm 8:3-4)
We thank You for your weaving–intentional, skilled, creative– that has brought us to life, unique. (psalm 139:13)
We thank You for Your demonstration of love–though we are “helpless” to match it–”in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (romans 5:6,8)
We thank You for a place of belonging, the holy inclusion that we are “called children of God.” (1 john 3:1)
We thank You for the “shield” of your mercy through mistakes, and Your glory that “lifts our head” in repentance. (psalm 3:3) 
We thank You for redemption and Your generosity of forgiveness–a favor not doled out begrudgingly, but “lavished.” (ephesians 1:7-8)
We thank You for the distance between east and west and the vastness of your restoration from wrong. (psalm 103:12)
We thank You for your light, for even “darkness is not dark” to You.  (psalm 139:12)
We thank You for the wholeness of Your presence, where there is no partial, no wait and see, but the “fullness of joy” then and there. (psalm 16:11)
We thank You for your shadow shelter, our dwelling place in the mightiness of your refuge. (psalm 91:1-2)
We thank You for Your cultivation, the nurturing of faith and faithfulness as we “dwell in the land” to which you’ve brought us. (psalm 37:3)
We thank You for action, a trustworthy character that will “do it” at the right time, in the right way, to the complete fulfillment of our heart’s desire. (psalm 37:4-5)
We thank you for your nearness, bringing goodness and all things good. (psalm 73:28)
“We give thanks to Thee, O God, we give thanks, for Thy name is near.” (psalm 75:1)

We thank You for the binding of our hearts and lives together, as we are bound to you.  For in You, “all things hold together.” (colossians 1:17)
We give thanks “in everything,” for You are in all things.  So, we are safe. (1 thessalonians 5:17) 
We thank You for the incredible fact of your being.  Through the water and fire, You are “the Lord our God.” (isaiah 43:3)  You are.  Thank You.

7th Day of Thanksgiving: To God’s Ears

Dear God
Thank you for the sun.  
Thank you for the sun shining down today (even though it was drizzling).  
Please help [Squiggle] to obey his teachers today and have fun.  
And, help you–help Mommy not to get lost at work today.  
Thank you for everything.  
And, thank you for the sun again.  
In Jesus name, Amen.

~ Little Drummer Boy’s “good morning prayer” on a rainy day

I read something somewhere in college (I would love to be more specific, but I just can’t remember, it might be Richard Bach, but I’m not really sure) that we teach best what we most need to learn.  I’ve been trying to teach Little Drummer Boy about prayer by continuing a “good morning prayer” tradition I started with him as a baby.  He’s learning.  And, sure enough, so am I.

Our “good morning prayer” is a little driving-to-daycare tradition.  I think it started with Mommy’s worried and tearful concern at leaving my baby boy in the hands of someone else during those first few months.  The prayer was a way to keep my meltdowns at bay, attempting to entrust my son, my heart to God for his protection during the day.  The drive seemed a fitting time to pray–modeling it for my children, starting the day on the right foot, and following the Bible’s prescription for worry.  I’ve contintued the habit off and on for the last three years with breaks during the forgetful “baby brain” moments of pregnancy and the rotations when Hub took over day care duty.  I began anew when Maggie started to “school.”

I usually pray for the same things every morning with small variations to meet each new day:
Thank you for today.
Thank You for the sunshine and the beautiful day You have made (when weather permits).
Bless Little Drummer Boy, Squiggle and Baby Girl with peaceful spirits and joyful hearts.
Help Little Drummer Boy and Squiggle to be kind to their friends and obey their teachers.
Help Baby Girl to eat well and sleep well.
Protect them and keep them safe all day long.
Bless Mommy and Daddy in their work.
Bring us together again for a good evening.
Thank you that you love us.

With this round of the renewed tradition, Little Drummer Boy has decided to take a more active role.  He’s been wanting to say our “blessing” at supper time, so one morning I asked him if he would like to help with the good morning prayer also.  He started by saying it with me for a few days and graduated to the prayer above on the first day he decided he wanted to say it ALL by himself.  The prayer was his own take on what I pray every day–part repitition, part trying to copy Mommy, part pride in doing something new, part gaining approval, and part heartspeak to God’s ears.  This week I’ve noticed some unprompted variations that speak to his own concerns.

Thank you for everything you made.
I pray that I can go outside today.
I pray that I will not have to go in time-out today.

After our “good morning prayer” I always remind Little Drummer Boy that he just talked to God, and we’ve been discussing how God hears us when we talk to him.  LBD usually says, “yes, and then God says, ‘I am listening to you.’”  I’m not sure where that came from, but I’m thankful that he’s learning to speak to God.  I’m thankful that God is reminding ME of simple, but powerful truths through Little Drummer Boy’s simple prayers.  I’m thankful that the God of all creation IS listening–even to the fledgling prayer from a little heart just awakening to who He is.

“I love the Lord because He hears my voice.”  (psalm 116:1)

5th Day of Thanksgiving: Haley Hears a Who

I’m realizing that the Who in Thanksgiving makes all the difference. I’ve been thinking through lists of things I’m thankful for, which I’m sure I’ll share as the days move toward Turkey Day.  I’ve been eager to cultivate a grateful heart for the little and big things in my life that produce joy, peace and blessing.  But, I have to admit that I’m finding it a little empty.  Yes, recognizing those people and things is rewarding, and the experiences with them are good to savor.  But, people and things come and go.  Thanksgiving really gains its power when it pushes me to recognize and praise the WHO responsible for my blessings large and small.  Like faith, thankfulness is at its most potent when it has an object.  

One of Little Drummer Boy’s favorite bedtime story books is his Rhyme Bible (which I highly recommend.)  It includes a story about how God fulfilled His promise to Abraham and gave him a son.  Our favorite part is the last page, where “Abraham jumped for joy, when he saw his baby boy.”  At this point, LDB always asks, “why did he lose his shoes?” The illustration literally depicts how Abraham must have felt when God’s gift truly knocked his socks (and shoes) off.  When I look back at the actual promise God made to Abraham years before his son was born, I’m reminded of His purpose in blessing Abraham.

“And I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great; and so you shall be a blessing.” (genesis 12:2)

Blessed to be a blessing–that was God’s promise.  If adopting a life of gratitude is to have a true impact on me in the day to day realities, being thankful is just the seed.  To become a blessing is the fruition.  Knowing the Who who made it possible enables the cultivation in between.  With all blessings of peace, joy, grace, mercy and love–those most-sought-after and precious gifts–we can only give out of our own overflow.  And, my ability to bless others begins with a commitment to bless the Lord first.  So, who is this Who drawing my eyes upward in thanksgiving?  We know Him by His actions:

He pardons…  bringing the sweet restoration of forgiveness, the freedom of a clean slate in a world that takes names

He heals… applying the gentle balm of repair, the relief of wholeness in a world with open wounds

He redeems… repurchasing the squandered wealth of life, the hope of second chances in a world built on “all sales final”

He crowns… bestowing the undeserved protection of mercy, the birthright of belonging in a world of refugees

He satisfies… enabling the simple generosity of contentment, the joy of open hands in a world with a white knuckle grip

Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
(psalm 103:1-5)

With all that is within me, indeed.  May I freely bless as He blesses?

1st Day of Thanksgiving: Lessons Revisited

In my quest for a renewed season of thanksgiving, I was looking again at an old journal (the actual pen to paper kind), and an entry from Thanksgiving Day, November 24, 2002.  For me, life, and intimate spiritual life in particular, seems to move in cycles where I experience and learn, re-experience and re-learn similar lessons.  Sometimes I have forgotten or been distracted from a truth and need a refresher course.  Sometimes God brings me full circle on an issue so that I can gain a deeper understanding that builds on past lessons.  I’m not sure which one this is, but I was contemplating the season then, too.  

I was going through a time of doubt and confusion, and maybe even a little fear of God.  I don’t mean the reverent, awe-inspiring kind of fear.  This was the scared, white-knuckle grip, hiding kind of fear of what He might expect of me.  I found myself actually afraid to draw near to God because I was afraid that he would take something precious from me.  I was persevering through struggles where answers and purpose were hard to find.  I had grown to doubt His character made so evident in the Bible.

This is starting to sound familiar!

In my journal, I was meditating on a few psalms and the idea of thanksgiving as a gateway.  Actually, just two phrases:

“…Come before His presence with thanksgiving.” (psalm 95:2)
“Enter His gates with thanksgiving…” (psalm 100:4)

My musings included a prayer in four parts that offers a refresher course for this season.  It’s still a worthy meditation, and a good starting point for my 12 Days of Thanksgiving experience.  Here’s what I wrote:

“Perhaps, this is the first step in getting rid of the doubt and fear that has taken over my relationship with God.

1.  I repent of a complaining and murmuring spirit, and ask God’s forgiveness for taking His character and blessings for granted.

2.  I ask Him to open my eyes to His goodness that is evident in my life, His faithfulness, His love and mercy.

3.  I choose the thank Him for what He shows me.  I thank Him for His works.  I thank Him for His character.

4.  I ask that this Thanksgiving season be a new turning point in my relationship with God.  Let me enter Your courts this season.”

Amen.

Gift Tag: Mommy’s Lap

My little Drummer Boy did not get a nap today.  It was day 7 in one of those weeks.  There has been a lot of excitement around our house.  Last Monday I went for my weekly doctor visit to check on Miss Baby M, and he decided it would be time to induce us at 38 weeks.  That means that when I go to the doctor tomorrow, we’ll find out what day THIS week our baby “seester” will make her arrival.

We’ve been scrambling around, getting all manner of pink baby items, and putting the semi-finishing touches on the nursery.  Mommy’s been working from home instead of going to the office, and getting more uncomfortable by the minute.  Daddy’s been taking over a few more parts of the daily routine than he had already taken over.  Little Drummer Boy and Baby Squiqqle Man have been slam dancing between spontaneous tears, random throwing of toys, mini tantrums and the sweetest blown kisses, slobbered kisses and hugs they’ve been holding in their pockets all day you’ve ever seen.  We know that confusion and insecurity are running rampant.  We know that even though Little Drummer Boy has an amazing vocabulary for which we can take no credit and Squiggle Man knows way more words than we give him credit for, they can rarely articulate what is really going on inside.  We’ve been watching, asking questions, guessing, soul-searching, and giving it a try for quite a few months now–go back to watching and repeat ad infinitum.  Change is hard, no matter how many years you have under your belt.

My Little Drummer Boy has had an extra dose of change lately.  Two weeks ago, he moved up to a new preschool class–new teachers, new schedules, still not wanting to put his tee tee in the potty, but everybody talking about it.  One week ago, he started his first “extra-curricular” activity–an AWANA “Cubbies” club where he’s meeting new friends, more new teachers, and learning Bible verses (doing a great job, I might add!)  Plus, he actually knows what it means to anticipate being a new big brother.  He’s already done it once.  

So, he didn’t get a nap today.  That means he was practically falling asleep at dinner, and I was putting him in bed early.  We read our books, found our blanket and puppy, turned on the music and listened to Mommy sing.  I thought he would fall asleep while I rubbed his back, but then it began: 

Drummer:  “Mommy…”

Me:  “Mmmm Hmmm?”

Drummer:  “I want to sit in your lap.”

Ok, I’m paying attention now.  Requesting to sit in my lap is uncommon these days now that he’s such a BIG 3-year-old– usually reserved for “bo bo” comfort or coersion (read bribery) from Mommy.  I knew this did not bode well for a speedy bedtime, but it was a treat I couldn’t pass up.

He climbed over in my lap, which Miss Baby M has shrunk considerably at this point.  Aside from some of my mandatory hugs, he didn’t cuddle or put his head on my shoulder.  He was content just to sit.  Then, he looked at me and smiled–a couple of times.

Me:  “Why are you smiling?”

Drummer:  “I’m happy.”

Me:  “Why are you happy?”

Drummer:  “I’m happy for you, Mommy.”

Me:  “Why are you happy for me?”

Drummer:  “I’m sitting in your lap.”

It was a crystal clear moment.  I saw deep into his heart, and was dumbfounded by how little it took to get there.  I knew he meant he was happy ABOUT being in my lap.  It was instantaneous security, peace, clarification, and love for him.  I told him how proud I was of him, how thankful we were on the day he was born, what a good big brother he was, and how much bigger Mommy’s lap would be in just a few more days.  And, just as quickly, the moment was gone. My Little Drummer Boy “wasn’t tired” anymore, and we would live to convince him otherwise in another hour or so.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.” (psalm 90:12)

Yes, it was a crystal clear moment.  One that underscored a realization that there is no better barometer of wise priorities than to center ourselves in this moment in this place to do what counts most–even if it’s just postponing bedtime for a little laptime.  Although, my Little Drummer Boy misused his preposition, I was actually happy FOR me.  It was instantaneous peace, clarification and love.  I saw deep into my own heart, and was dumbfounded again by the recognition that the best of my whole world can be found in the space of just a few rooms.

Gift Tags are the tiny messages God continues to include with our gifts — 2 little boys and the anticipation of 1 little girl, each with open eyes, open ears, open hearts, and much to teach. “Behold children are a gift of the Lord…” (psalm 127:1)

Thinking About Thanksgiving

My children have a collection of Peanuts movies that sometimes rotate to the top of their favorite requests–requests that send us flying through the calendar celebrating various holidays at crazy times.  Last week we were celebrating Thanksgiving with repeated viewings of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” and “The Mayflower Voyages.”  I like Peanuts.  Mr. Schulz was not above using the words “God” or “blockhead” in a children’s program when appropriate.  I like that.

“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” is the story of how Peppermint Patty invites herself and several friends over to Charlie Brown’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s a celebration of how fast Snoopy can make buttered toast, how “wishy-washy” Charlie Brown can be and how bulldozer-like Peppermint Patty can be.  In the immortal words of our wishy-washy friend in the striped shirt, “You can’t explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything.”  

In the end, Marcie reminds us that, “thanksgiving is more than eating… we should just be thankful for being together.  I think that’s what they mean by thanksgiving, Charlie Brown.”  How true.  

In looking back through some of my past journals, reviewing signposts on my inner journey that may have been forgotten, I’ve been reminded that a thankful attitude is one way to right our view of others and usher in intimacy–with one another and with God.  When difficult times, discouragement or my own wrong attitudes take a toll on my closeness with God, thanksgiving becomes the key to being together again.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him; bless His name.  For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness to all generations.” (psalm 100:4-5)

Thanksgiving helps us to enter God’s presence.  It is the gateway that leads to His courts.  It is the starting point in setting our attitude and vision of God straight when it may have gotten off track.  When we approach God with thanksgiving, we acknowledge Who is responsible for our blessings, our salvation, our life.  Thanking God for the things He has done for us and for Who He is to us silences a complaining and questioning spirit.  It makes communion with Him possible.

Thanksgiving helps to dispel doubts about God that may have crept in because it focuses our attention on how His true character has been manifested in our lives in tangible ways.  In recognizing His true character, we are able to enter His courts with praise.  By developing a heart of gratitude toward God, we give Him credit for His goodness in our lives.  If I choose to thank God, I choose to recognize His faithfulness.  I can see that He proves His own character by his goodness, lovingkindness and faithfulness in my life.

Thanksgiving opens the gate to praise, which leads me to the place where God resides.  Complaints are forsaken.  Doubts are put to rest.  Closeness is restored.  And, it’s not even November.

I Have Come Into Deep Waters

Alone on a raft in the middle of a sea
with the winds blowing side to side,
she heaved a breath and continued to row
against the raging tide.

Along came a raft with several aboard
who were strong with vigor and might.
They tossed her a blanket that was sewn in wool
to warm her in the night.

“Thank you,” she said, for your kind concern
I wouldn’t ask for more
but the waves are so strong for this little boat
and I have an extra oar.

“The winds are blowing, that’s true my dear
but, we’re sure that you’ll endure.
We can’t come aboard and help because
we have to get to shore.”

Alone on a raft in the middle of a sea
and hardly a glimpse of the sun,
one wave was too high and down she goes
I guess the storm won.

“Save me O God for the waters have threatened my life… I have come into deep waters and a flood overwhelms me.” (psalm 69:1-2)