Gift Tag: Yes I Am
“Yes, I am.”
It was a statement that brought a cackle from both my husband and me at the dinner table. In the course of conversation, our 3-year-old had done something that prompted me to say, “You are SO smart.” Then, in agreement… “Yes, I am.”
Of course, anything that produces a laugh from Mommy and Daddy must be repeated. So, a moment later I got the request, “Say I’m so smart again.” With my cheerful compliance came another “Yes, I am,” this time accompanied by much giggling from everyone.
One thing I’ve learned about 3-year-old speech is that it matches up very closely with the heart. Three-year-olds haven’t yet learned to choose their words carefully, to monitor their phrases to fit the circumstance, to “spin” their opinion based on the situation, or to distance the spoken word from their true thoughts and feelings. When I listen to my 3-year-old, I know that I’m getting exactly what he’s thinking, what is most important to him at a given moment.
I’ve also learned that whatever I say in my 3-year-old’s hearing — just in the course of conversation or in specific attempts to teach him — will probably eventually come right back at me. And, in true 3-year-old fashion, I know that I’m getting back an honest picture of how he’s interpreted my words.
That’s why I enjoyed hearing the “yes, I am” — twice. There was no overblown pride with the statement, no bravado. It came out as just a statement of fact. It told me that he believed he was smart. And, it reminded me just how important kind and positive praise can be for my children, how powerful it can be in giving confidence and setting right the assumptions they learn about themselves.
He had been told he was smart, and he believed it.
A precious understanding for a 3-year-old heart.
“Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.” (proverbs 25:11)
Our world sometimes offers an overwhelmingly out-of-balance negative message — one that strips and diminishes. Even in our home, it is so easy for praise to be out-weighed by the speech of stress, worry, exhaustion, busy-ness, annoyance, or correction.
“Yes, I am.”
A powerful reminder that it costs me nothing to say it more.
You are smart.
You are precious.
You are sweet.
You are strong.
You can jump high.
You can run fast.
You are growing.
You are kind.
You can share.
You did a good job.
I’m glad I have you.
I love you.
Gift Tags are the tiny messages God continues to include with our gifts — 2 little boys and the anticipation of 1 little girl, each with open eyes, open ears, open hearts, and much to teach. “Behold children are a gift of the Lord…” (psalm 127:1)
Filed under Family + Motherhood, Gift Tags | Comment (1)Thinking About Oxen
“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean. But, much increase comes by the strength of the ox.” (Proverbs 14:4)
I love the book of Proverbs in the Bible. It’s the drive-by shooting approach to wisdom. Each little kernel of truth is maybe one or two sentences arranged in one or two verses without much context or explanation. Maybe it’s the time of day, but sometimes I’m left thinking, “Hold on. I know this is profound, probably even life-changing or relationship changing or more, but I’m gonna need a minute.”
This particular proverb stood out to me today as a jewel of wisdom to help me keep my eyes on the main thing.
I’m one of those that derives a certain amount of comfort and security from being in an orderly, relatively clean space – at least as orderly and clean as you can get with a somewhat pack-rat mommy, husband, dog, cat, two toddlers, one on the way, and all the “stuff” that comes with each. Nevertheless, we do try. And while our ordering system may not be readily apparent to the naked eye, it IS ours and we like it. I have found that when my surroundings are in chaos, so is my brain. An uncluttered home frees up an uncluttered mind and spirit.
Which brings me to my predicament…
Saturday was partially spent cleaning and getting our home to a nice state of relative calm. Then, not even 12 hours later, I’m faced with a sink full of syrupy dishes, carpet littered with cupcake/french fry bits and floors dotted with mud. Plus, various nap time pauses and my own 6-months-pregnant lack of energy have left my nesting projects in the boys’ rooms in a more chaotic state than when I started. My first instinct: run screaming from the house.
Then, I see Proverbs 14:4 — cleverly posted above the stove.
“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean. But, much increase comes by the strength of the ox.”
Now, I’m no oxen expert, but I’m guessing that they can produce quite a mess. And, the only way to avoid it is not to have them in my manger. Yes, that might help the barn stay spotless, but look at the “increase” I’m missing. It’s obvious. The strengths of the oxen FAR outweigh their mess.
When it comes right down to it: No amount of sticky fingerprints or clothes-strewn rooms or muddy floors could ever diminish the great joy I receive from the family God has given me. Those giggles and squeals, drum beats and bouncing balls are a priceless increase. So, we live with a few crumbs, and our coffee table has honey mustard stains. At least we’re all in the same room; everyone is healthy and growing and (at the moment) smiling; and I can grab them and kiss them any time I want. I am a wiser woman when I keep my focus on the blessing and my thoughts away from trivial complaints.
Lesson learned — again today.
Filed under Soul + Spirit, Verse Views | Comment (0)
