Courage 2010: The Post Behind the Post

February 8th, 2010

“If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?
~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Little Drummer Boy recently informed me that he is no longer afraid of Pinocchio. He received the Disney classic from G-Mo and Paw-T for his birthday last year. He got several movies as gifts, and it took us a while to get around to watching Pinocchio. LDB didn’t make it far into the story before he decided it was scary. We turned it off, put it out of sight and that was that.

Now, if you haven’t seen Pinocchio lately, let me indoctrinate you. There’s plenty for a four-year-old to find scary, and plenty to get me kicked out of the Mommy-of-the-Year running. It’s filled with all kinds of questionable activities: wooden boys coming to life, wiley fox hoodlums enticing boys away from school, child labor forced by one-toothed men, child slavery forced by seedy carnival producers, boys turning into donkeys, cigar smoking (sorry with a smile, #17), lying, ferocious ship-swallowing whales, all those tick-tocking clocks while everyone’s trying to sleep, and the word “jackass.” Yep, plenty to instill trepidation.

So, through what I can only surmise was the influence of peer pressure, LDB announced that he was no longer afraid to watch the movie. “I promise,” he said. It sounds like maybe they watched the movie in his preschool class or read the book, and during that process of comraderie, he overcame his fear of growing donkey ears. That’s how it is with Little Drummer Boy. When confronted with a new and somewhat scary situation, his preference is to wait until he’s suddenly ready–until he grows more or forgets more or learns more, until he can partake effortlessly of the thing he can no longer remember frightened him. He just waits for the experience to sneak up on him.

Squiggle Bug is different. I’m not actually sure Bug’s ever been afraid of anything, which makes ME lose a lot of sleep. He’s apt to put his whole tiny being into whatever presents itself, and caution has never been a barrier for him in making the experience completely his own. When we’re watching Pinocchio, there are a few parts that cause him concern, but they are often overcome by his desire to dance during the musical numbers that surround them. He might get up from his chair and run to the edge of the hallway, peeking around to see the upcoming scary scene from a safer distance. Or, he may run over and sit right next to me in anticipation of a frightening moment. He always continues watching, though. And, he’s somehow always able to overlook those troublesome scenes in favor of choreographing his dance moves for the next song. It’s courage, I tell you. And, I have a lot to learn.

There’s never been a time in this world when courage was needed more than today. It seems like more humans are in hunger than ever before. More in slavery. More in despair of governments and poverty and disease and court decisions. Yes, adequate courage is indeed wanted in nation building, but I’m realizing that just as profound a courage is wanted in basic human living. Can I really maintain myself as a human BEING if I am forever cautious about the being part? Of all the battlefields requiring valor in this day, perhaps the one most insistent is the battlefield of the ordinary, the daily living of life–living connected and engaged with all that such a life entails. That battlefield is the one where I’m required to BE the human being I am, staking claim to each moment with the courage to live it fully, and rescuing real, meaningful life from the abyss of complacency. No, there’s never been a time in MY life when courage was needed more. And, when I come to the end of it, I want to know that I’ve partaken of that courage and built that sustainable life beyond mere existence.

That’s the crux of my 2010 theme word pursuit. I started it with a quick Tuesday 25 last week, and the concept is in dire need of elaboration in the form of a post that’s been staring me in the face, unflinching, for several months now. Courage. I want to find it, to maintain it, to live by it in this one life with which I’m blessed. I want to apply it where the voids of hunger and hope for something more need filling. I want to adopt it where the constraints of routine need more freedom. I want to employ it where the chills of exposure need more covering. I want to speak with it where silence needs more breaking.

Yes, I have a lot to learn. From Little Drummer Boy. From Bug. From Pinocchio. I don’t want to spend my life waiting for the experience to sneak up on me at a time when I might be prepared to live it. To live a life unbounded requires courage–the courage to sit through the hard parts, to stand through them, to raise a fist at them, to grab someone’s hand through them, to run and hide from them, but to come back, to sneak a peek at them, to ask questions about them, to choreograph them and dance around them. I want to have the sheer audacity to move beyond existence. I want courage.


Cloudy

June 27th, 2009

george_banks“Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.”

~ George Banks, Mary Poppins (the movie)
(photo courtesy
Flixster.com)

500 or 15: Television

March 27th, 2009

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle


500 words or 15 minutes (whichever comes first) on my topic of the moment. This moment is…
Television. Aaargh. I love a couch potato moment as much as the next gal, but this latest Juice Box Jungle video got me thinking. How do I “use” the boob tube with my kids? And, is it intentional? Or, do I just default to their love of Elmo and my own need for THEIR entertainment.

My boys love their movies: Charlie Brown, Dora, Elmo, Barney, Winnie the Pooh – the academy award nominees of toddler land. Every day, they take turns choosing the first “movie” to watch when we get home from day care. I’ve found this hour or so of DVD time to be a great way for me to keep my sanity at the dreaded “transition hour.” You know the one, the hour between work and home, daycare and home, hungry and filled, outside and inside and so forth.

When everyone comes home after long (and mostly fun) days, there is sometimes no rest for weary Mommy and Daddy, so our solution has been a little DVD time. We alternate who gets to pick the movie first and they all settle in to bean bag or chair or couch with juice and milk in hands. Sometimes they stay there glued to the action and sometimes they opt for cars and trucks and random storytelling with the show in the background. And, sometimes even Hub and I come running not to miss our favorite funny parts. But, the movies give the grown-ups a chance to say “how was your day” and give the Mommy a chance to get dinner started with maybe a little less multi-tasking. Mind-numbing qualities aside, to the credit of kid programming producers everywhere, the experience really has taught my bunch a lot about everything from how toilet paper is made to who Abraham Lincoln is to how to act like a monkey. (Wait, we didn’t really need any training for that. They popped out with the knowledge already in hand.)

As for regular TV programming, realistically we don’t watch much at our house, at least not the cable and network kind. Being that I have one big sports fan and two (or three, lest we ignore Title 9) little sports fans in training at my house, ESPN does get some air time as well as Fox Sports South and whoever else might be broadcasting live baseball or SEC football.

The main thing that keeps us away from the standard programming and the big concern I have with even sports broadcasting is the commercials. They regularly confuse and scare my just-shy-of-4-year old while my just-shy-of-2 ½ year old is blissfully unaware, at the moment. When we watched the Super Bowl this year, we COULDN’T watch it for reassuring Little Drummer Boy. We finally ended up turning it off. (You can experience my sleep-deprived rant on the issue here.) I’m all about mastering the remote for programs that show my kids things I don’t want them to know until they’re 30, but even with sports or kid-friendly programming, advertisements are still the wild-card.

So at our house, sometimes it’s a toss-up between our favorite dinosaurs and monsters or our favorite teams, and we’re all slowly learning that since we “only have one TV,” (I know, it’s shocking!) “we have to share!” When dinner’s on the table and it’s time for family time, usually there’s a rush to see who can turn OFF the tube first. I guess that’s something.

Click on over to JuiceBoxJungle and rate this article:  Funny, Helpful, or Honest?

Thinking About Thanksgiving

August 17th, 2008

My children have a collection of Peanuts movies that sometimes rotate to the top of their favorite requests–requests that send us flying through the calendar celebrating various holidays at crazy times.  Last week we were celebrating Thanksgiving with repeated viewings of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” and “The Mayflower Voyages.”  I like Peanuts.  Mr. Schulz was not above using the words “God” or “blockhead” in a children’s program when appropriate.  I like that.

“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” is the story of how Peppermint Patty invites herself and several friends over to Charlie Brown’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s a celebration of how fast Snoopy can make buttered toast, how “wishy-washy” Charlie Brown can be and how bulldozer-like Peppermint Patty can be.  In the immortal words of our wishy-washy friend in the striped shirt, “You can’t explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything.”  

In the end, Marcie reminds us that, “thanksgiving is more than eating… we should just be thankful for being together.  I think that’s what they mean by thanksgiving, Charlie Brown.”  How true.  

In looking back through some of my past journals, reviewing signposts on my inner journey that may have been forgotten, I’ve been reminded that a thankful attitude is one way to right our view of others and usher in intimacy–with one another and with God.  When difficult times, discouragement or my own wrong attitudes take a toll on my closeness with God, thanksgiving becomes the key to being together again.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him; bless His name.  For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness to all generations.” (psalm 100:4-5)

Thanksgiving helps us to enter God’s presence.  It is the gateway that leads to His courts.  It is the starting point in setting our attitude and vision of God straight when it may have gotten off track.  When we approach God with thanksgiving, we acknowledge Who is responsible for our blessings, our salvation, our life.  Thanking God for the things He has done for us and for Who He is to us silences a complaining and questioning spirit.  It makes communion with Him possible.

Thanksgiving helps to dispel doubts about God that may have crept in because it focuses our attention on how His true character has been manifested in our lives in tangible ways.  In recognizing His true character, we are able to enter His courts with praise.  By developing a heart of gratitude toward God, we give Him credit for His goodness in our lives.  If I choose to thank God, I choose to recognize His faithfulness.  I can see that He proves His own character by his goodness, lovingkindness and faithfulness in my life.

Thanksgiving opens the gate to praise, which leads me to the place where God resides.  Complaints are forsaken.  Doubts are put to rest.  Closeness is restored.  And, it’s not even November.

Thinking About Courage

June 16th, 2008

One of my children’s favorite DVDs is Winnie-the-Pooh and the Honey Tree. In one part of the story, Winnie follows a bee to its honey tree. After a failed attempt at climbing the tree, he comes up with an ingenious plan to get to the honey (as only a bear of “very little brain” can do.) He asks Christopher Robin for a balloon and then rolls around in the mud to create a clever disguise. When Christopher asks him what he is supposed to be, Pooh bear responds, “a little black rain cloud, of course” as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Of course the “disguise” didn’t work out well for Pooh (and therefore, Christopher Robin) and some chasing by bees ensued — just another mishap for the cause of honey in the Hundred Acre Wood. But, I can relate…

Last night I realized that I was discouraged. Isn’t that how it happens sometimes? It sort of sneaks up on you. I had gone about the day (the weekend, actually) all muddied in mind and spirit, and adopting the persona of a “little black rain cloud” — of course. Nothing overwhelmingly discouraging had happened, I was just vaguely aware that I was feeling down, dissatisfied, uncertain, overwhelmed, tired, and all the other partly cloudy emotions that stand ready to release their storms when conditions are favorable for a downpour.

There were quite a few random downpours.

Chalk them up to the emotional upheaval and exhaustion of being 7-months pregnant in Mississippi in June, the struggle to balance love and discipline with training our children, the hesitation about looking for a new church that we feel we can “plug into,” the concerns about my husband’s business growth, the financial needs that go along with that, or the desire to be outside watching my boys play in the water, but knowing that would do me in for the rest of the day. Regardless, it took needing to formulate an answer to the third or fourth time my husband asked “so, what’s going on?” for me to realize and articulate it. I was discouraged.

I was reminded recently that “courage” is at the root of both discouragement and encouragement. It seems obvious now — right there after the prefix — but, strangely, I don’t often associate courage with my partly cloudy experiences. I looked at the derivation of “discourage” and found it stemmed from an Old French word meaning literally “away + courage.” Being “away” from courage. Discouragement boils down to a lack of courage in facing situations. We get overwhelmed or intimidated or fearful. We lose our gumption and forget our power in conquering the hurdles.

How can we regain our courage?
For me, it started with correcting a few basic assumptions:

1. Courage is not about me. Contrary to the greeting cards, mustering it up from within can only get you so far. We learn to summon courage in the face of challenging circumstances not because we are important, but because the positive outcomes of those circumstances are important. Soldiers behave courageously in battle because they know winning the battle is more important than themselves.

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.”  (1 Corinthians 9:24)

2. Courage is not a result of my power, which is limited. Courage derives from a true source of power. I can maintain courage in a situation because I know Who’s really in charge. If I know who’s in charge and who’s character is really on the line, then I can trust the outcome. My husband reminded me of this verse:

“Ah Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You” (Jeremiah 32:17)

If that is true, then to give in to discouragement is to deny God’s power, not mine. You see, sometimes I have the idea that courage is a lack of fear. Not really. It’s actually the presence of a healthy fear, a recognition of my own shortcomings and the place of rest I have in the One with no shortcomings.

3. Courage isn’t necessarily a one-woman show. The picture of courage we sometimes conjur is one of me against the world. Most often, however, that’s not really the case. It’s just our own self-sufficiency talking. I like to be “strong.” I don’t like to rely on someone else. The truth is, however, that I will never be the last one standing. God will always still be standing there, not to mention the “great cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) that have already stood the test. And if I pay attention, I’ll also find others as well — my husband, my family, my friends, my support system. True strength really is found in numbers:

“A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Certainly not as easily as one measley thread. (Just ask the buttons holding my every-growing baby bump!)

Beyond Assumptions
When I’ve reminded myself of everything that’s true, sometimes the best path to regaining courage is just to focus on the task at hand and let time work its magic. I had every intention last night of delving into my own discouragement issues after everyone went to bed… Until a sleepy little 3-year-old became convinced he “wasn’t tired” and a sniffley little 18-month-old decided one bottle wasn’t enough. So, after another bottle, finding pup-pup, reading the best of Dick and Jane, a few extra kisses and stumbling to bed, discouragement wasn’t at the top of my list anymore.

Two pint-size distractions. One new perspective.  Today’s forecast:  mostly sunny with only a small chance of little black rain clouds.

 

(See this article on ehow.com under the title “How to Overcome Discouragement

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