Shabbat Blessedness

It was crowded. There were so many distractions that God found a quiet, lonely place to wait. When I stopped struggling and came to sit at His feet in that lonely place, He began to teach me. He spoke to me:

“Blessed are you when you are poor and broken in spirit. This makes you understand my kingdom, for my love for you have been nurtured out of loneliness. My loneliness even brought you into being.

It is good when you mourn because it helps you cry for the hurts of others as well as your own. Don’t be discouraged, I will comfort you.

Blessed are you when you are gentle and meek. You learn a silent strength that will bring you success in my kingdom on earth.

I am so pleased when I see you long for holiness and truth like you long for food and water. I want you to be happy, and I will satisfy you.

Blessed are you when you show mercy and compassion because I will give that to you when you need it.

It is good for you to examine your heart and be honest with yourself and Me. Only when you trust me enough to truly reveal yourself to Me will I reveal Myself in greater ways to you.

Be a peacemaker. Seek to bridge gaps and heal hurts. You know that a child takes after his Father. Peacemaking is one of My greatest attributes. After all, that is what brought you back to Me.

You will be blessed when you take a stand for Me, when you abandon to Me. Even though it may be costly, you will be blessed. That, most of all, symbolizes my feelings and commitment to you: love to the point of pain and beyond.”

[paraphrase of matthew 5:1-12, "The Beatitudes"]

God, Who Searches

“and they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. then the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘where are you?’“ (psalm 3:8-9)

Isn’t this one of the saddest scenes in all of history? But, it seems to be an eternal picture of man’s relationship with God. Because of sin, whether it is pride, self-centeredness, self-sufficiency, misplaced priorities or old-fashioned disobedience, we continually seek to hide ourselves from God.

How sobering to think of that moment when Adam realized that God knew their fellowship had been broken, and that his hiding was utterly useless. It must have been a tremendous blow for him to hear the question, “where are you?” and to realize that he was stuck in the swamp of sin instead of walking in the garden in the cool of the day with his Creator. Yet, how like man to seek an inadequate refuge among the trees–the place where he made his choice clear, the place where he sought a substitute satisfaction for the hole only God can fill–as if that place of self-deception could somehow measure up to the selfless wisdom of the Almighty.

I can imagine what it was like in Eden before Adam and Eve sinned. They were one with one another and one with God. There was no conflitct there, no divided loyalties, no distractions. It is clear to me from the story of creation that God looked on them with purely adoring eyes. No labor was involved in love. Fellowship was without a price. After sin, His love required a labor, a sorrow, and fellowship had a hefty price tag. If God had not been God, He might have said, “forget it!” But, in that moment, when the object of his affection ran to hide, God put Calvary on his calendar for 33 A.D. Then, He set about finding His people. In Luke 15, Jesus spoke about the joy a shepherd has in reclaiming his lost sheep. Where once His joy was simply in our existence, now it comes to fruition in the act of finding, when our fellowship is restored.

I see in my life a lot of hiding from God, a fruitless tendency. This blog, like my on-and-off journal, although a wonderful outlet for sharing my thoughts and focusing my attention, offers the perfect amount of self-censorship required to give me the luxury of skirting some heart issues. Then, God reminds me that hiding is my nature. It’s what I do, as a human. And, though my time among the trees is never out of his ever-present vision, it must be my choice and conscious decision to be found.

You see, if I spend time with Him out of duty, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in my religion for my fellowship with God. Jesus said in Luke 15:7, that “there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over 99 righteous persons who need no repentance.”

If I spend time with Him because other Christians I know do, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in my status for my fellowship with God. Paul wrote in Colossians 3 that there is no distinction among believers, but “Christ is all and in all.”

If I spend time with Him to keep up appearances, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in temporary and fleeting popularity for my fellowship with God. But, Jesus said in Matthew 23, “woe to you, scribes and pharisees, you hypocrites, for you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.”

Every moment of my life, especially the time I choose to spend with God, involves a decision not to hide. He searches for me. He often whispers in my ear, “where are you?” But, only I can choose to be found. Only I can choose to respond to His question. Only I can abandon the futility of life among the trees. Only I can embrace His inevitable presence.

“Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up. You understand my thought from afar. Where can I go from your Spirit? Or, where can I flee from your presence? Even the darkness is not dark to you, and the night is as bright as the day.” (psalm 139:1-2, 7, 12)

Psalm 1: God, My Delight

Years ago I began a practice of reading through the psalms and pulling out one key attribute or concept about God from each upon which to meditate. Through difficult circumstances, that off-and-on habit has repeatedly reminded me of the faithfulness and goodness of the Creator. This post is compiled from notes and previous writings from those lessons, and will perhaps be the first of others to follow.

“How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and it’s leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers.” (psalm 1:1-3)

It’s fascinating and captivating. The sensation is hard to comprehend. Effortless.

Delight. A heavenly intoxication. A bewitching banquet of the soul. A spontaneous pouring of emotion. Delight is an old friend of love. But, it has none of the labor found in true agape, the kind of labor found at Calvary. No, delight was in the garden when God first gazed on his beloved bride. It was absolutely focused, unimpeded, free and priceless. Love stood still in that glorious moment of communion. God delighted in His beloved, as He still does. Just as I imagine Eden was, delight always captures my attention. Like the first yellow leaves in October, an unexpected smile from Hub or watching my little gifts sleep. Delight is the surprise of life.

When I delight in my husband or my children, I spend time thinking about them. I try to discover their wants and needs. I dream about ways to meet those needs and more. When this unexpected emotion grips me, I enjoy stopping to look at them. I watch them intently, savoring each little quirk. I smile suddenly or laugh out loud at something Little Drummer Boy did last week, or Squiggle or Baby Girl. What would life be like if I allowed God to spark this same kind of delight for Him in my soul?

The psalmist wrote that a happy man is one who delights in the law of the Lord. Law? Delight? It doesn’t seem to match. When I think of law, my mental picture is certainly not effortless. Law has a regimented, unforgiving and burdensome connotation, quite unlike the heavenly intoxication described above. How could someone feel such pleasure and excitement about the law? The haze clears when we listen to the words of Jesus:

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest… for My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (matthew 11:28-30)

Weary. Heavy-laden. Now, there’s my normal mental picture of law, but Jesus describes his “yoke” otherwise. Rest. A law that makes life less burdensome, that even enhances it. Could this be the delight the psalmist described?

How utterly amazing life would be if I delighted in God’s word like I delight in so many other things. I would rejoice in the simple, but unbelievable presence of the Creator in me. What miracles I miss because I simply don’t stop and pay attention. Because I don’t watch and see who He is and how He makes Himself known in the simple, the commonplace.

Delight is a very basic, un-thought-out emotion. It is childlike. It doesn’t require theology of psychology or any other -ology. It just is. God’s design is that I delight in Him, free from the yoke of the world’s cares and priorities. I’m always convicted by this verse:

“I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived Eve with his craftiness, your minds should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” (2 corinthians 11:3)

I don’t want to be deceived out of the Eden of delight God makes available to me by focusing on the wrong things. I fear, as Paul did, that in the hullabaloo of “good things” surrounding me, I have moved away from that simple, pure delight of daily knowing Christ as my Savior. A life based on delighting in the law of the Lord is free–free from personal agenda, free from quests for knowledge, free from jumping through hoops, and all the other well-intentioned, but misguided reasons we do what we do. I am ashamed to say that often my delight in the Lord is squelched by the desire to work, the drive to care for my family, the need to wash dishes, put clothes away, brown hamburger meat, make grocery lists. Sadder still, the delight is squeezed aside by the evening talk show host, the late night blog post or the book I can’t put down (one about holy living or loving God, of course). I often here the Savior whispering behind me, “Haley, Haley, you are worried and bothered about so many things, but only a few things are necessary, really only one.” (luke 10:41-42)

In that story, Mary, the sometimes dreamy lover of the Lord had chosen the one thing in the world the Christ deemed as necessary. She was kneeling before Jesus, hanging on His every word. Her mind and body were captivated. She was drunk with the presence of the Lord, intoxicated. Burdens that were once packed meticulously on her back thrown aside, or left in the sink, and the yoke of a friendship embraced. Her eyes sparkled with delight at Her King. Her King. I’m sure she would have gotten around to the dishes and the bread at some point, but she saw the remarkable urgency of a moment not to be missed.

I live in north Mississippi, and we don’t often experience the hurricane force winds and high tides the more well-known coastal areas do. Nor, do we brace for their impact as so many do. But, my husband grew up on the Mississippi Coast and showed me some of it’s wonder. Although dramatically changed by the devastation of Katrina, I was always amazed by the large trees that weathered so many storms. Even in dry weather they stood bent toward the sea. Their trunks changed directions under the pressure of storms and waves, but their roots remained firmly planted in the soil. This miracle is a perfect example of the tree described in psalm 1. A delight in the Lord produces an unwavering stability. Storms of loneliness threaten to break. Waves up despair mount up to flood. Winds of sorrow or confusion permeate the air. But, a life spent in utter amazement and delight of the Master will not be uprooted. For if the storms of water and atmosphere obey Him, surely the floods of heartache and disappointment will too. For those who delight in the emancipating, intoxicating law of the Lord, we may feel the bruise and bend of depression, loneliness or fear, but we will not be broken or uprooted.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good, how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” (psalm 34:8)

Make that 1712 Over Lunch

Today I had left-over spaghetti for lunch, along with a homemade chocolate cookie with pink peppermint icing.  Oh, and a giant swig of sweet Southern iced tea. I brought all of it from home–pulled it right out of my refrigerator this morning while Little Drummer Boy was eating a Pop Tart and Squiggle was meticulously picking the marshmallows out of his Lucky Charms to eat first.  It was just after I had mixed 4 bottles of formula for Baby Girl to take to daycare, and my preparations were punctuated by LDB’s perpetual story of transformers and Squig’s repeated “this?” request for clarification each time he picked up an odd-looking blue diamond or pink heart or new hourglass. Why the play-by-play?

Well, Blog Catalog and Heifer International are sponsoring Bloggers Unite for Hunger and Hope today as a way of raising awareness about world hunger. The event prompted me to go back and read a recent post on hunger I wrote on March 11, Global Food Crisis Day, sponsored by Compassion International. I wrote that post over left-over hamburger and Doritoes. The irony is how easy it was, and always is, for me to reach into the refrigerator for left-overs. How remarkable that I always have left-overs. How remarkable that I have a refrigerator. No, it doesn’t really seem that remarkable in Starkville, MS, but the reality is that I’m in a vast minority here.  Refrigerators and left-overs, it turns out, are pretty remarkable.

Bloggers Unite posted a statistic that 15 million children die of hunger each year.  When I do the math, which I so seldom do, I find that 15 million each year translates to just over 41,000 each day.  Every day. Of my life. If hunger remains unchecked. That statistic is different from the fact sheet provided for Global Food Crisis day, which reported 25,000 overall deaths from starvation each day.  The difference highlights the fact that hunger isn’t just about starving.  Now, I don’t claim to be a statistician, and I’m sure there are discrepancies in how the deaths are reported and what counts as hunger-related–a natural by-product of such a prevalent condition in areas and population segments of our world that are already underserved and under-reported.  But, it looks to me like starvation is just the end of the story, an appendix to the bulk of realities about the life-toll of hunger.

Incidentally, one year ago yesterday, Business Week reported a story on the predicted number of bloggers peaking at–you guessed it–15 million. By my ever-so-humble calculations, that’s one blogger for every child who will die of hunger this year.  I’m taking a moment to think about the one child I represent–and might speak in support of.

The hunger redux and recalculation isn’t pretty:
Show me the numbers.  Show me their significance in a 24-hour period.

41,000 children die of hunger each day.

6 million Jews died in the Jewish Holocaust over a 13 year period (1933-1945).  Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in 8 months 146 days or less than 5 months.

4575 Coalition military have been killed in Iraq over the last 7 years (2003-2009). Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in 4 hours 23 minutes about 2 hours 40 minutes–before I can get supper on my table tonight.

There are approximately 693,000 people in each Congressional district electing a member of the House of Representatives.  Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in 28 days about 17 days.

26 million folks watched American Idol last night back in March.  Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in just over 2 1/2 years 1 1/2 years.

There are 175 million FaceBook users.  Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in just under 20 years just over 11 1/2 years.

There were 306 million residents in the United States as of February 2009.  Unchecked hunger will claim that same number of children in 20 years.  I’ve been out of high school longer than 20 years. I’ve owned things longer than 20 years.

I’ll write it again:

The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 25, Number 1 says that “Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food…”

The same rising food costs that make me compain when I buy my 3 gallons of milk each week are diminishing the reach of many hunger relief agencies and organizations.  I’m convicted that the money I spent Saturday on snacks and convenience-builders for my family–3 boxes of honey buns, a bag of Doritoes, a box of Lucky Charms, 2 bags of french fries, 1 cataloupe, 2 bags of chicken nuggets, and a bag of grated cheddar–would likely feed a child on the other side of the world for 3 or 4 months.  Yes, I said MONTHS.

I’m again astounded that in the time I’ve spent eating spaghetti and chocolate cookes and thinking about MY Little Drummer Boy turning a happy, contented, healthy, 40-something pound 4-years old, about 780 people 1712 children somewhere in the world died because of hunger related issues.

“Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? …to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (matthew 25:37, 40)

9th Day of Christmas: Song of the Seekers

SCENE:
Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying “Where is He that is born King of the Jews, for we have seen His star in the east, and are come to worship Him.”…And lo, the star which they saw in the east went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. (Matthew 2:1-2, 9)

SYNTAX:
Seek.
to try to locate or discover; search for; to endeavor to obtain or 
Reach 

SONG:
We’ve travelled far, seeking to find,
and now this night God provided a sign
to show us the way to the King of Kings,
the Son of God, salvation He brings.
We’ve come bearing gifts to present to the One
who means that a lifetime of searching is done.
But, all the wisdom and riches we hold
can never compare to the Savior we behold.

Praise to the Father who’s true to His word
that the one who asks will always be heard.
Rejoice in the babe for all mankind,
and the promise that all who seek Him will find.

SEARCH:
How compassionate our God is that we are not left to wander–that an answer is ready for those who ask and a journey’s end is ready for those who seek.  It is interesting to me how God revealed Himself to the Magi.  They were apparently watching the skies.  I read in The Miracle of Christmas by John MacArthur that the “wise men” were likely astronomy and astrology practitioners, trying to determine or understand events of the day–not exactly a view of the stars (or a method of gaining understanding) that God would approve.  And yet, we see o what great lengths the Father will go to capture our attention.  He will even meet us in a place He doesn’t want to be, even when we’re searching in the wrong place.  God put an intriguing star in the sky to pique the interests of a bunch of astrologers in order introduce them to His Son, the Savior of the world.

I wonder how many others saw the star and just moved on to other things.  These men had seeking hearts, hearts that God had already prepared for a new discovery.  Maybe they were tired of the old ways.  Regardless, they came ready to find something extraordinary.  They came ready to worship before they even knew who they would find.