Doo Doo Chronicles: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Dear John,

I don’t mean to dump this on you suddenly, but really, it can’t come as a surprise.  It’s something that’s been building deep inside for a while.  Our relationship just doesn’t really seem to be going anywhere.  Our time together has slowed to nothing more than a trickle every day–and just when I was starting to get into the big stuff.  I know we told everyone we would be spending more regular time together, but things just keep getting messier and messier.  It’s just that every time I’m ready to deal with something really big, you’re nowhere to be found.  You know what they say: “fools flush in.”  I think maybe I just sat on this thing a little too quickly.

I know it’s partly my fault.  A relationship like this takes commitment, but right now I’m at the point in my life where I’m more interested in playing (in) the field–and the patio, and the living room, and the toy box.  I don’t know.  Our time together has been good, clean fun, but I really miss my pull-ups.  You know, they’ve really been there for me–long before you came along, especially when I had a big load to deal with.

I know what you’re thinking.  Everyone in my life thought we really had something going, and I did too.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not flushing the whole thing.  I’d still like to hang with you.  I just really need to be around my pull-ups when I get the urge to let go.  Maybe you can just go with the flow for a while.  One of these days I’ll grow up and turn four.  Then, maybe I’ll be ready to commit to the long-term relationship everyone was hoping for.  Until then, thanks for understanding.  I hope we can still be friends.  Maybe we can go bowl-ing sometime real soon.

Sincerely
Little Drummer Boy

Cold Smokin’

“Look Mommy, I can see my smoke.”
~ Little Drummer Boy on a cold day

“Toy Packaging”

I just heard this song by Sara Groves, and I think all Mommies around the world will unite with me [and Sara] in denouncing the accursed TOY PACKAGING!  Yes, let us stand together in one accord and say, ” I will not be beaten… by TOY PACKAGING!  Though toddlers and mommies alike are brought to simultaneous holly jolly tears by the barrage of twisty ties, plastic wing nuts, grommets, and [!] screws standing between ripped wrapping paper and contented play, we will not succumb to TOY PACKAGING.  Yes, armed with a phillips head screwdriver, a Coke and the toll free number for Consumer Reports, we shall overcome… TOY PACKAGING!  You sing it, Sara.

“Nothing makes me lose my cool like 
Toy packaging 
Ask the kids to leave the room for 
Toy packaging 
I have no choice the money’s spent 
I’ve worked for hours to make a dent 
I guess it’s anger management 
Toy packaging 

Nothing makes me lose my cool like 
Toy packaging 
Ask the kids please leave the room it’s time for 
Toy packaging 
I’m drawing up a battle plan 
to extricate this robot man 
My self-esteem is in the can 
Toy packaging 

In the old days you could hold a box and shake it 
And hear the pieces rattling around 
My eyes tear up with these grommets, tape and twisty ties 
Remembering their beautiful sound 

Toy Packaging 
I love Toy Packaging 
(Mom! Honey!) 

Nothing makes me lose my cool like toy packaging 
Kids you really need to leave the room, mom’s opening toy packaging 
I’m sorry you have to see this sight 
You must be brave, no please don’t cry 
I promise it will be alright 
I hope to have it by tonight 
Nevermind this dynamite 
Toy packaging”

Ha! and double Ha!

By the way, you can download this song along with the stunning “Joseph’s Lullaby” by Mercy Me legally and for FREE at this site:  www.freeccm.com  It’s available for a limited time, I think, but it’s a great site to check each month.