1st Day of Thanksgiving: Lessons Revisited

November 16th, 2008

In my quest for a renewed season of thanksgiving, I was looking again at an old journal (the actual pen to paper kind), and an entry from Thanksgiving Day, November 24, 2002.  For me, life, and intimate spiritual life in particular, seems to move in cycles where I experience and learn, re-experience and re-learn similar lessons.  Sometimes I have forgotten or been distracted from a truth and need a refresher course.  Sometimes God brings me full circle on an issue so that I can gain a deeper understanding that builds on past lessons.  I’m not sure which one this is, but I was contemplating the season then, too.  

I was going through a time of doubt and confusion, and maybe even a little fear of God.  I don’t mean the reverent, awe-inspiring kind of fear.  This was the scared, white-knuckle grip, hiding kind of fear of what He might expect of me.  I found myself actually afraid to draw near to God because I was afraid that he would take something precious from me.  I was persevering through struggles where answers and purpose were hard to find.  I had grown to doubt His character made so evident in the Bible.

This is starting to sound familiar!

In my journal, I was meditating on a few psalms and the idea of thanksgiving as a gateway.  Actually, just two phrases:

“…Come before His presence with thanksgiving.” (psalm 95:2)
“Enter His gates with thanksgiving…” (psalm 100:4)

My musings included a prayer in four parts that offers a refresher course for this season.  It’s still a worthy meditation, and a good starting point for my 12 Days of Thanksgiving experience.  Here’s what I wrote:

“Perhaps, this is the first step in getting rid of the doubt and fear that has taken over my relationship with God.

1.  I repent of a complaining and murmuring spirit, and ask God’s forgiveness for taking His character and blessings for granted.

2.  I ask Him to open my eyes to His goodness that is evident in my life, His faithfulness, His love and mercy.

3.  I choose the thank Him for what He shows me.  I thank Him for His works.  I thank Him for His character.

4.  I ask that this Thanksgiving season be a new turning point in my relationship with God.  Let me enter Your courts this season.”

Amen.

Nelson Mandela

May 28th, 2008

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn’t save the world.”

may, august, november, may

May 21st, 2008

though the air is chilly
and the wind is picking up,
as it blows, I hold on.

I am rustled and tossed,
beaten.
and still I hold on for my life;
for fear of blowing
away.

this was once so comforting.
my place of belonging,
of safety, growth.
but now
the hours of light are fewer
and the blowing
tears me.

it is here.
the coldness.

but, I will clothe myself in warmth.

I will be golden.
I will be rich and deep.
I will choose red and orange.
I will set the limbs
on fire.
I will ride the wind.
it rips my younger dreams
but I will use it.
I will fly.

I will gather up all that is in me,
and I will let go.
I will use every last strength,
every resolve.
I will let go.

the release.

and I soar
scattering my gold.
my brilliant fire
scorching the sky.
I am free.

and though I fall down for some dying,
I am driven by that moment
whey I fly.

and yet
I am the tree.
now laid bare and naked.
by the release
exposed
hybernating.

and then comes the spring.

ABCs

W is for Whole

October 28th, 2008

A whole defies mathematics.  It adds up to so much greater than two halves, especially in hearts.  Just the added “w” makes it the opposite of hole.  Where a whole is given, there can be none of the empty void of hole.  A whole is full and complete–the thing in its entirety.  A whole lends importance to anything it touches.  I should do, see, love with my whole, or not at all.

S is for Squiggles

July 16th, 2008

Squiggles are squeal-fueled giggles–the language of toddlers who haven’t quite learned the words.  Some sneak out, burst, or even explode.  They have an uncanny power to multiply without effort.  They are joy that needs no articulation

C is for Cobwebs

May 15th, 2008

Cobwebs are what creep up in corners when you’re not paying attention.  A moment of shame. A mistake. Something you can’t remember or can’t forget.  They are sticky and catch things that brush against them by accident.  It helps to sweep out your cobwebs.

CultureSpeak

Culture Speak: “Comfort”

December 23rd, 2008

Cultural Context:  “The definition of comfort is very interesting. Comfort means hug, comfort means cry, comfort means smile, comfort means listen. Comfort also means, in many cases, assure the parent or the spouse that any decision made about troops in combat will be made with victory in mind, not made about my personal standing in the polls or partisan politics.” ~ President George Bush in an interview with the Washington Times.

Tidings of comfort and joy…
According to an article in the Washington Times, it seems that for the past seven years, President Bush has been regularly devoting time to meeting with wounded soldiers and the families of those killed in action in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq as well as writing personal letters to the families of those lost in the line of duty.  A Fox News article introducing the Washington Times story reported that he has visited with over 500 families of soldiers killed in action and over 950 wounded military personnel, and has written over 4000 personal letters of comfort to those who have lost loved ones.  Both the President and First Lady commented in the article about the incredible (and emotional) experience of sharing not only the anguish of loss with those families, but also the joy the families felt in helping the Bushes get to know something personal about the soldiers who sacrificed so much.

Now, I’ll admit that the EyeJunkie CultureSpeak “column” is sometimes filled with outrage, sarcasm or snarky comments about just how ludicrous some of our cultural and media terminology really is.  But, not so with this one.  I had to write this one as a testimony to how impressed I am with George and Laura Bush.  I know it’s not popular.  His approval rating is probably somewhere in the tweens about now.  But, this man is undettered in his commitment to what he believes is right.  That’s impressive.  It takes quite a lot of courage to be willing to look into the eyes of a mother who has just lost her son in a war you sent him to fight–a war it seems in vogue to criticize.  Despite what we read in the papers, the Bushes recall that most of the families they’ve met have said their soldiers chose to fight–wanted to serve and understood the need to fight and win this war.

What is just as impressive as his commitment of time and energy consoling grieving families is the fact that his mission of comfort has (by intention) largely been conducted under the radar of the ever-vigilant media.  Given the voraciousness of our media machine, that’s quite an endeavor.  His efforts have only been publicized when at the request of one of the veterans or military families.  The president and his staff have diligently guarded his meetings with loved ones to protect their privacy and allow them to express their grief without the flash of cameras.  Now, with less than one month left in office, the story is reported–not at times 2 years or 5 years ago when a boost in the polls provided by such patriotism might have been used to pass a bill, confirm pubic support or influence an election.

At the risk of slipping into something snarky, however, I have to say that as impressed as I am with George Bush, I’m equally as unimpressed with the lack of reporting on this 7-year phenomenon.  While I am thankful on behalf of the families concerned that they have not been exposed to the scrutiny of Joe-the-Plumber fame, I’m also disappointed that noone seemed interested in sniffing out the President’s tidings of comfort.  Consider that I can’t enjoy 24 hours without finding out the color of Brittney Spears underwear or the latest shopping purchase of Paris Hilton.  Yet, 1450 visits and a 4000-piece letter writing campaign has gone unnoticed?

4000 letters.  That’s more than one hand-written personal correspondence a day for the last seven years.  From the President of the United States.  The Washington Times article was extensive, but Fox News… 228 words.  CNN… no mention.  The national media’s “closer look” at the lives of the fallen has considerably fallen by the wayside beyond the first news cycles of the wars, while the President’s has been a more than 2500-day mission of mercy.

Regardless of your view of politics and the war–regardless of mine–I am thankful for a Commander in Chief who has taken time to count the cost more intimately than most making the headlines.  I am thankful for the integrity revealed in his unnoticed comforting.  I am thankful for his courage to expose himself to the criticism–not of pundits, journalists and starlets, but of those who have given their most precious gifts to the cause.  I am thankful for the perseverance he’s shown in staying the course despite detractors.  I am thankful for his quiet resistance to using the pain of others for political gain.  I’ll say it again.  I’m impressed.

Eye Opening Quotes

Best Friend

December 10th, 2008

“Jesus is my best friend
I can always go to Him
tell Him everything
I’m thinking of
my friend Jesus
whom I love.”

~ Twila Paris, My Best Friend
Bedtime Prayers CD

I put this song on a lullaby CD I made for my boys.  They listen to it every night as we’re tucking in and rubbing backs.  Lullabies seem to really boil ideas down to their basics, and listening to it has given me the opportunity to let the simple messages really sink in.  For me, the joys of the Christmas season usually include small pockets of melancholy for some reason, and this year is no different.  I’ve noticed a sense of loneliness in my spirit even though I’m almost constantly surrounded by people.  I want to sing this song.  But right now, I don’t know if I would describe Jesus as my best friend–a friend, a Saviour, to be sure, but not necessarily my BEST friend.  I want to live this song.  I need to.  I want to rest in Emmanuel and feel the nearness of “God with us.”  I want to approach Him as I would a person, to run to Him with the latest news, to share with him my thoughts and feelings, to rely on Him for encouragement and advice.  I want to love Him–all the more as I celebrate His birth.

12th Day of Thanksgiving: We Gather Together

November 27th, 2008

We gather together
to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens
His will to make known.
The wicked oppressing
now cease from distressing.
Sing praises to His name,
He forgets not His own.

Beside us to guide us,
our God with us joining,
ordaining, maintaining
His kingdom divine;
so from the beginning
the fight we were winning;
thou, Lord, wast at our side,
all glory be thine!

Lyrics: Nederlandtsch Gedencklanck; trans. by Theodore Baker 
Music: 16th cent. Dutch melody; arr. by Edward Kremser (1838-1914)

Curveball

November 1st, 2008

“November resembles a curveball.  Just when you think you know where the ball will go over the plate it shifts on you and you’re swinging wind.”

~ Outfoxed by Rita Mae Brown

Word Pictures

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

December 24th, 2008

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the heavens
the angels were silent in anticipation.
For centuries they had waited for such a special flight,
and now it would happen this very night.

In the throne room the Father talked with His Son
of dreams and desires and what was to come.
“My Son, I’ve loved them since breathing their life,
and for years they’ve suffered with sin and strife.
Now it’s time to offer them relief,
for the groan of their sorrow is more than I can take.”

“Oh, Father, I’ve begun to feel their yearning
even before I take my journey.
The weight of their burden is heavy on my back.
I can almost feel the sting of their attacks.
Inside me the sadness of leaving burns,
but, Father, I can bring them when I return.”

“Yes, we’ll be united with our bride.
She’ll no longer have a reason to hide.
And, you’ll return to me, this I know.
But now, my love, You must go.
Gabriel!  Come!  Assemble your band.
For the birth of My Son is now at hand.”

With the stroke of His hand He split the sky.
As He watched the departure He heaved a sigh,
for He knew the sin His Son would endure
and the punishment of death–His suffering was sure.
But, this night all of heaven would rejoice
as they hailed the mystery of the Master’s choice
to limit Himself to the form of a babe
to bring reunion with those He would save.
So as He dripped a star from His fingertips
praises rang from the angels’ lips,
but the Father was quiet, a tear on His cheek
from the painful price required for peace.
And, from the joy He saw in ages to come,
when all His children would join Him at home.

So this night before Christmas as you drift to sleep,
and He sends His hosts with protection and peace,
may you keep His love for you well in sight,
and Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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