The Pull of Legend

On Saturday I read this article about Penn State Athletics. It gave me that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. If you haven’t seen much about the story, I’ll just let you read it for yourself. And I predict you will get that sick feeling too.

I read the article while I was watching the Mississippi State homecoming football game on television with my boys. You see, I have boys. Two of them. And they’re just learning about football and what a college is and which team is the Bulldogs. The article made me spontaneously hug and kiss them, which they have sort of come to expect from their Mommy. So, it was no big deal for them. For me, it kept me awake that night.

Most of my kids’ enjoyment of football games consists of spotting “Bully,” the Mississippi State mascot somewhere in the televised coverage. Admittedly, the homecoming game didn’t have the same audience appeal as the Thomas the Tank Engine story they had concocted and were playing out on the living room floor. Still, we were watching football. And somewhere between the television ad spots proclaiming how college football in the South is part of the year-long cultural fabric and Emmitt Smith selling his favorite tailgating products, I saw the Penn State story.

I couldn’t help but think about what I can only assume is the incredible pull of legend. As college football legends go, I suppose Joe Paterno’s Penn State program is as legendary as they come. It’s a legend you want to follow — to appreciate, to see win. It’s a legend you’d like to see untarnished.

Was that the motivation behind the complete lack of human-ness displayed in this story by so many grown men? Were they thinking of their own individual jobs? The bad publicity? The loss of sponsorship and conference dollars from television broadcasts? From my couch, I imagine that it was all of the above.

For the first eyewitness to this horrific situation, I can imagine some combination of shock and fear prevailed. I would hope that for athletic staff and university administration, the first thoughts WEREN’T the horrific experience of a football program. But, as the story played out through the sequence of events described, it appears that is the exact horrific experience that was at the forefront of their minds.

Something is amiss in legend-making. In legend-keeping. Shock and fear are certainly relevant emotions. But, what else happened while a witness mulled over his next actions? What else happened while the powers-that-be slowly formulated a crisis-management strategy. On that night, a young boy was left at the mercy of what appearances and indictment language tell us is a sexual predator. A young boy was left with no defense against unspeakable acts. And statistics tell us that for victims they ARE unspeakable. The shame and fear and long-term emotional effects of such experiences are difficult to express and therefore, very often go unexpressed. And let’s not forget that silence is one of the most powerful weapons a predator uses to protect himself and allow his pattern of abuse to continue. Yes, the acts were unspeakable.

Sadly, for the grown men in this situation, the events were apparently unspeakable as well — at least outside of the closed doors of a college football legend. What kept me up on Saturday night: The questions. What else happened? What further humiliation was the boy (a boy like mine) subjected to by such a key figure in this football legend? What was the look in his eyes? How did he get home? Did he have a home? Was he subjected to other meetings with this predator? Did he have someone who could help his young mind and soul cope with this life-changing experience? Wouldn’t he be about college-age by now?

On Sunday I read an article about the indictment of Jerry Sandusky. Apparently the language from the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s office specified that Coach Joe Paterno acted appropriately and was absolved of any wrong-doing. It indicated he would likely testify for the prosecution in the case. I was happy to read that caveat to the story. I, like many others, enjoy the mystique of Saturday afternoons in Autumn. I admire winners. I want to see a storied figure maintain his legacy. The legend of Penn State football can remain somewhat intact.

Good. But, what of the boy?

Tues Twenty-Five: Most Played

Wow, it’s been raining here. It rained all night bringing thunderstorms and a few tornado scares. Thankfully, we are all safe, but the clouds made for a drizzly and gray day. When days like this roll around, I usually want to stay cozied up inside with some inspiring reads, a sweet-smelling and familiar candle and some good background music to spur my productivity. I don’t know about the productivity factor today, but the tunes were good, to be sure. It’s amazing how music soothes my spirit, motivates my inner dancing and often speaks my heart. I love the handy “plays” column on my iTunes music list. It lets me know which songs (through my own choices and iTunes’ random selections) are infusing my brain the most.

In defiance of rainy days, I give you the Tuesday Twenty-Five: Most Played Songs on the Junkie Greater Playlist. Enjoy and go scan your own iPod for a pick-me-up!

1. Steady As We Go — Dave Matthews Band
2. Killing for Love — Jose Gonzalez
3. EZ — Pete Yorn
4. The Space Between — Dave Matthews Band
5. Good Night’s Sleep — Matt Brouwer
6. Ain’t No Sunshine — Eva Cassidy
7. Find Yourself — Brad Paisley
8. One Step Up — Bruce Springsteen
9. Hey, Soul Sister — Train
10. Fields of Gold — Eva Cassidy
11. Blood of Eden — Peter Gabriel
12. Just Breathe — Pearl Jam
13. Secure Yourself — Indigo Girls
14. Night Swimming — R.E.M.
15. Mercy Street — Peter Gabriel
16. Glory Days — Bruce Springsteen
17. I’m No Angel — Greg Allman
18. I Can’t Stop Loving You — Keith Urban
19. Into Dust — Mazzy Star
20. Sand and Water — Beth Nielsen Chapman
21.  I and Love and You — The Avett Brothers
22. Shelter of Storms — Mary Chapin Carpenter
23. Parachute — Train
24. Rough Edges — Kim Carnes
25. I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You — Colin Hay

CultureSpeak: “Go Christmas”

Cultural Context: A line from this recent Gap television ad produced in (supposed) response to an American Family Association boycott prompted by Gap, Inc’s “censorship” of “Christmas” in holiday promotions for Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy. According to the AFA website, the complete lyrics of the commercial are:

“Two, Four, Six, Eight, now’s the time to liberate
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanza, Go Solstice.
Go classic tree, go plastic tree, go plant a tree, go add a tree,
You 86 the rules, you do what feels just right.
Happy do whatever you wanukkah, and to all a cheery night.

Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, go whatever holiday you wanukkah.”

Hmmm.  I have a few questions, starting with this:
Is that better, AFA?

In their updated online “action” memo response from 11/16, the American Family Association first takes a small victory lap by saying, “as a result of your actions, Gap has produced a television commercial that uses the word ‘Christmas.” Great job! AFA and its supporters have succeeded in encouraging a major retailer to lump Christmas in with whatever other December holiday you “wanukkah.” But, hey, they used the word “Christmas.”

Of course, the AFA website goes on to denounce the ad as “dismissive and disrespectful,” and for many Christians it probably is–which begs my next question. What do you expect?

In a LATimes editorial, Dan Neil asks his own question:

“Why, for example, is the phrase “Happy holidays” so insufferable to Christian fundamentalists, but not the vulgar, surfeiting exploitation of Christ’s name to sell smokeless ashtrays, dessert toppings, Droid phones and trampolines?”

I’m wondering that myself. Retailers do want my holiday money, and they’re going to advertise to get it–just like they do every other month of the year. Why do Christians want Christ’s name out there hawking all kinds of merchandise?From all appearances, Gap, Inc is a secular company. I think I’d be safe to assume that since it made the “Against Christmas” column in AFA’s “Naughty or Nice” holiday retailer list this year. Can we honestly expect a secular company to produce a true interpretation of the monumental value of Jesus’ birth? I’m thinking NO. So is the AFA asking for lip service? It looks that way. And, that’s exactly what it got.

I whole-heartedly agree that Jesus Christ is the center of true Christmas, a celebration of His birth–the earthly beginning of His road to the cross to purchase my salvation through His death. I also happen to believe that the December 25th holiday we call Christmas is a man-made ritual with a colorful history that exists for any number of cultural and spiritual reasons. It isn’t found in the Bible. As a Christian, I do want to ensure that I’m putting value in the right places during the season and focusing on the incredible gift God gave us in His Son becoming flesh. However…

I find this whole Gap/”Happy Holidays” battle to be a ridiculous sidestep of the real issues. It’s cosmetics. And, in the name of bringing out the truth of Christmas, this boycott campaign is completely false at its foundation. How can we possibly expect a culture so prevalently at odds with Christ to produce something that honors Him, to be the bearer of the Christmas message? Why do we even want to try?

To borrow some Biblical metaphors… Salt whets a thirsty world’s need for living water. Why insist on sprinkling it with a bunch of tasteless, low sodium substitutes? Whole and redeemed vessels can pour that water into thirsty souls all around us. Why demand that hopelessly cracked vessels carry it?

Dear AFA,
Broken cisterns can’t hold water. Maybe your battle is the wrong one.

[For the record, I probably won't be purchasing anything from Gap during the holiday season this year--mainly because I'm 5'1" and their sleeves are always way too long. Baby Gap could be another story.]

Tues Ten 061609: Iran

Sorry folks, the Ten Tuesday Tickles in the way of GREAT design and style blogs I’ve been obsessed with this month will have to wait.  Holy Revolutionbrew, Twatman! I’m just too astounded by the situation in Iran and the amazing power of Twitter. My social media guru followees have been trying to get us to buy in, and until now I’ve just seen Twitter as a gigantic cocktail party in which I’m an eavesdropping wallflower. But, the events of the last two days have convinced me that this formidable outlet for citizen media has real power beyond “I just downed another cup of coffee” and “Here, read my latest blog post”.

10 amazing things/events/whatever about revolutions/free speech/life learned from Iran and Twitter:

1. Twitter postponed a scheduled maintenance shutdown because of the vital role the service was playing in accessing information in and out of Iran. They embrace their own potential. (Can’t see FB doing that, honestly)

2. The Iranian government disallowed any foreign journalists from reporting events outside their offices and from providing video footage. Censorship is alive and well, and used as a real weapon for oppression.

3. People on the ground in Tehran were actually working to confirm or deny reports that were coming out. I saw multiple tweets from freedom supporters disavowing incorrect reports of army activities, etc.

4. There are actually some hard-to-believe realities and guidelines about using something like Twitter to support global activities. See this link.

5. Get to know the cyber ins and outs because oppressors and dictators do. I “reTweeted” (twat?) the above link from it’s original site and 10 minutes later the web page had been pulled and an “account suspended” notice posted. Later it was posted again on the site listed. Can’t promise it will remain there.

6. Unlike the comfort of my upstairs office, some of the people tweeting from Iran are in REAL, not imagined danger. They might not be here tomorrow. Yes, we still live in that world.

7. ABC’s morph into Presidential TV on July 24 for a sell-job on healthcare reform is looking a little Ahmadinejad-ish.

8. Are there actual people out there who really don’t understand that David Letterman was talking about Bristol Palin and not her 14-year-old sister? Inappropriate bad joke in poor taste aside, do we really need to manufacture an “outrage” when there’s one staring us right in the face?

9. People everywhere just wanna be free. (Thank you, Rascals) You can’t get a good freedom movement down. It’s why totalitarian regimes don’t work in the end.

10. Words have power, and it’s my right and privilege to use them. Own it. Take responsibility for it. Make it count.

Monday MeMyBook&Eye: Geek Episode 1

Welcome to Geek Episode 1 of the MeMyBook&Eye solo book club. (Point-click your membership card to the left.) As you know from here and here, I’m reading Bringing Up Geeks by Marybeth Hicks. And, in case you didn’t know, geek is the new cool.

In just over 300 pages, Mrs. Hicks advocates an approach to parenting that rejects the “culture of cool” so prevalent in our society and advocates raising “genuine, enthusiastic, empowered kids.” And, from what I’ve read so far, it makes A LOT of sense.

“My goal with these ten geek strategies is to launch a child-rearing movement that promotes innocence over exploitation, substance over style, and genuine self esteem over superficial acceptance. I hope they inspire you toward your most courageous, effective, and satisfying parenting experience.” (pg. 24)

Eighty-something pages in and, yep, I’m inspired.

I had to laugh at Mrs. Hicks’ opening story about a fellow school mom who took great issue with Marybeth’s description of her own children as geeks. After the experience she said, “I trudged back to the van, all the while wondering why it was so important to that mom that my children be popular.” (pg. 2) Why, indeed? As the book makes the case, popularity today equals a sort of pseudo-adulthood. Knowledge equals popularity, being in the know (and often in the experience) about culture–what’s big in celebrities, movies, fashion, toys, girls and boys. In pondering (and deciphering) my notes, three thoughts from the opening chapter completely got me on board the geek train.

Popularity is learned by example.
The start of Bringing Up Geeks reminded me that although every person wants to be liked, children don’t come out defining popularity in terms of social culture. They learn the importance of popularity by example. In my mind, there is a clear distinction between the desire to be loved and the desire to be liked. The desire to be loved (which transcends popularity) is something we are born with. The desire to be liked is something different. Sadly, I think it’s often the parent’s ideas of what constitutes popularity that begin a child’s quest.

Even at my kids’ young ages, I see lots of parents rushing them through their innocence, rushing past Winnie the Pooh and Elmo, and on toward Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. It’s not always easy to go against that flow. As Mrs. Hicks put it, “raising uncool kids takes effort.” (pg. 2) And, in my limited preschool experience, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Childhood is important.
“A geek is an empowered kid enjoying an innocent childhood.” (pg. 5) There is a normal process of maturity that culture often tries to circumvent. It rushes our children past preschool into some mini-size version of adolescence and then on to a pretend version of adulthood.

But, that process is short-sighted. It produces an artificial maturity without the true skills for wise choices. I want to think long-term with my boys and Baby Girl. I want to start raising them NOW to be the kind of grown-ups I’ll admire when the time comes–real, productive, powerful, compassionate adults, not a cheaper Hollywood version.

My kids are more than culture expects them to be.
Look around. Culture has set the bar so incredibly low for my children. They can’t be expected to behave. They can’t be expected to sit still. Asking them to speak and act with respect might hurt their tender feelings. They can’t learn when they’re in the “terrible twos.”

Wait a minute. My kids are better than that. They deserve better than that. As Mrs. Hicks reminded me, “I’m convinced our kids will meet us where we expect to find them.” (pg. 21) I want to expect more than what culture tells me I can. And to do that, I have to be even more relentless than culture is. The time and energy I neglect to spend in protecting their childhoods will be quickly filled by a culture that is relentless in pursuing and having its way with my kids.

Uh uh. Not on my watch.

Needless to say, I am completely inspired to master culture in the life of my family, rather than be mastered by it. I’m resolved to be my kids’ champion by raising my level of expectations beyond what culture says is important and acceptable. Because I believe my children can accomplish more.

Thanks, Marybeth! Stay tuned for MeMyBook&Eye Geek Episode 2. It’s thoughts on raising a “brainiac” and a sheltered kid–GEEK rules #1 and 2.

*Updated: Read Geek Episode 2