Searching My Junkie Soul

I received a great compliment this week. At least EyeJunkie did. Super Facebook Guy struck again and delivered a request by an old friend from my Architecture school days. Not unlike catching up in person, Facebook befriending often involves a series of messages or wall posts aimed at determining “where have you been, what have you done and are you still the same as the last time I saw you?” In this case, that was almost 20 years ago. Naturally, the virtual conversation involved our families, our work, where old mutual acquaintances are and in this case, a quick browse of EyeJunkie.com.

After a look through the blog, my re-aquaintance wrote a lovely email to let me know he enjoyed it. His words spoke to some soul searching I’ve been doing about the direction of my writing…

“It really crackles with life.”

Wow! Now that’s high praise. Over the last few months I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the best ways to spend my writing time and what I really want EyeJunkie to be. As I shared with you recently, with three preschoolers to chase, free time is a coveted commodity around the Junkie parts. Since some of that time is devoted to writing, I want to make it count. I want the energy and time I devote to this creative pursuit to result in something that fulfills me. So, I’ve been determining the directions in which I’d like to focus.

One of the continual questions I explore in my thinking about EyeJunkie is its theme–namely whether it needs one that is more specifically defined. When I read other blogs out there, I find they are often centered around a specific topic, whether it’s parenting, spiritual pursuits, good design, marketing, politics–all themes I enjoy. But, I really don’t want the creative limitations of focusing on just one of those ideas. When I read the stories of successful blogs, I wonder if it’s even possible to honor my readers, to give them something worth a regular invasion of their collective cyber space without developing a consistent theme.

I do lots of brainstorming about countless ideas for both work and writing, and my notes on this blog center around finding my true heart for the character of the body of work. There is one thing I know for sure. I certainly won’t honor my readers and provide a worthy outlet for their attention if this endeavor isn’t authentic. If it isn’t authentic to me and where I am, the writing will be without passion. When I write notes to qualify EyeJunkie, these are the words that repeatedly find their way to the page:

beautiful, honest, creative, fresh

I want EyeJunkie to reflect life. To hear a first impression that the presentation “crackles with life” was a well-needed moment of affirmation and an encouragement to pursue it in all its rich pageant. Above all, I want this blog to reflect life. It most readily falls into the “personal blog” genre, the hallmark of which is that it’s about MY life. But, in reality, my life isn’t all that different from a thousand lives. Yes, my family is one of individuals, my interests are mine, my juggles and struggles have unique details. But, the greater issues are shared by most people and families. My pursuit is to make my moments count, even if only by living each one completely regardless of its mundane or profound characteristics. To that end, I simply cannot sustain a thematic approach–at least not with authentic passion. Life isn’t always thematic. Life is interrupted. Life is multifaceted. Life is overlapping. It isn’t easily compartmentalized. BUT, life has goals. It has values and overarching commitments and priorities that are applicable to and reflected in all its interruptions and facets.

For EyeJunkie, one of those goals is an uncontrived pursuit of paying attention. Highlights from my belief that there isn’t much that’s incidental, not much that’s insignificant. The powerful and profound can be found in almost everything, and joy and contentment are soon to follow from a life lived with intention.

It would be tempting to cater my thoughts and themes to what readers might expect, to let that be the driving force. But realistically, I don’t thing that would lead to much satisfaction for me as a writer. And, I don’t think it would generate much of the quality that’s worthy of your attention either. I hope you’ll stay with me as I explore some of my brainstormed ideas over the next few months, and I hope you’ll find some of your own life in the haphazard “crackling” glimpses of mine.

[A special thank you to M.F. for your generous observations.]

Tues Ten 091509: The Post Behind the Post

Over Labor Day weekend I had the opportunity to do some thinking, brainstorming and evaluating about my blog in between looking after a little one-year-old flu statistic and giving out big-brothers-of-the-year awards. I’m still hammering out the results, but so far they involve some re-thinking of how I approach my writing. I thought I’d share some thoughts as a preface to the “PBP” Tues Ten list.

As you might imagine, I have precious little time to devote to writing, what with 3 preschoolers, a full time job, a house and a family to feed and care for. Even less of that theoretical time is uninterrupted. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The hugs and “I love you”s and DVD changes and “why”s are all little motivators to focus on what really matters.

I started EyeJunkie.com as a creative outlet with just those interruptions in mind. Unlike other creative pursuits I enjoy like painting or crafting or book-making, writing lends itself more easily to the serendipity of day to day living, and requires very few materials. And, from the mundane to the profound to the much sought after to the little noticed, subject matter is all around for the taking.

As I was thinking about my writing habits in general, time constraints seem to be the deciding factor for much of what I envision. I enjoy writing. Time is limited. Facts. I want to make sure I use my time in the way that brings me the most joy. To that end, I decided to re-appropriate my writing time and focus less on writing freelance articles. While I enjoy writing about specific topics, it doesn’t give me the most joy. And, life is too fleeting to choose options of lesser joy. In short, I want to spend less of my “free” time frenzied by a deadline, writing pieces I’m not all that excited about. I’ll be limiting the weekly and monthly commitments I make for article writing in search of more writing joy. Yay!

I hope to focus more attention on this blog as my primary writing outlet, building it with more regular content–writing that gives me fulfillment. Quality writing that earns your trust and support–and maybe even a few of your giggles and tears. I’m sure I’ll fine-tune themes and goals more specifically as I delve in, but suffice it to say that I want to write it for my own joy. I hope it will, in turn, add something to your day as well.

In my brainstorming, I’ve made lots of notes about the post series on this blog–what’s working, what needs extra attention, what I’m tired of. I’m made notes on how to incorporate more of my design work as a supplement to the writing–how to give it a fresh look, how to extend the life of pieces I post, how to share more. I’ve listed out a few hair-brained ideas that may see the light of day at some point. Time will tell. I’m sure I’ll share more “writing about writing” as thoughts gel and turn into some kind of gooey subscriber-worthy confection. Until then, I give you this week’s Tues Ten Twelve:  The Post Behind the Post.

The Queen once gave me a book called QBQ: The Question Behind the Question. It is a little book that challenges some of the traditional notions of customer service with a heavy slant toward personal responsibility–a concept I can absolutely get behind. It challenges us to answer the question behind the question in our dealings with others in a business setting and beyond.

So, I listed (in my compulsive list-making sort of way, the way that involves illegible hand-writing) out twelve post subjects or goals that underly much of what I write. Articulating the post behind the post is a good barometer for whether I’m writing for the most joy (woo!) or settling for a lesser joy (bleh!).  Hold me accountable with your comments! I love hearing from you.

I find the most writing joy and fulfillment when my words:

1. Observe and communicate effectively

2. Tell stories

3. Get real

4. Articulate values

5. Make me laugh

6. Turn the mudane into the profound

7. Find ways that faith intersects with real life

8. Show how kids are gifts that keep on giving

9. Encourage responsibility

10. Share working mom antics we all know, but are reluctant to admit

11. Remind that media and culture are often ridiculous

12. Help me pay attention

15 Minute Fruit

Two posts about writing/blogging back to back must be a record for me. Writing about writing can sometimes be a little redundant and sometimes a little too theoretical for my tastes, but the post behind the post on this one is really about discipline.

Given the wild hare trail of the previous post, I was reading back through some of my notes and early paragraphs that were spent defining what EyeJunkie.com would be. The trip through cyber memory lane reminded me that one of my beginning goals for creating a blog was to discipline myself to actually write more consistently. Journaling is a practice I’ve enjoyed for much of my life, but had gotten away from it a bit. I had become entangled in the burden of recording thoughts, and the burden of the actual thoughts that are a prerequisite.

If you read the tips and how-tos on writing (whether creative writing, blogging, or freelance writing) you will invariably find this one: The best way to become a better writer is to write more. (My paraphrase, of course.) And, I suppose there’s a reason why so many people advise it. The daily practice of writing requires practice. The daily practice of idea-generation requires practice. The daily practice of picking content fruit before it sours on the vine requires practice. In keeping with the theme of EyeJunkie, the daily practice of paying attention to what’s right in front of me before it escapes requires practice. Practice, practice, practice. (Now I’m sounding like Mrs. Winstead, my childhood piano teacher.)

To that end, I think I’m ready to get back to some of the entanglement of that journaling process again. I’m ready for that daily activity of simply recording aspects of daily activity, and the profound thoughts it often generates. Recently, I have been thinking about the Mississippi painter, Walter Anderson, because of a project I’m working on at my day job. His watercolor and block print works have long inspired me, and there is no better example of the practice of paying attention with a paint brush or pencil in hand than his. I remember reading somewhere that when Mr. Anderson was a child, his mother required he and his siblings to write and draw some each day. It was part of there routine of “chores” so to speak. I like that. Time spent each day in self expression is so valuable to nourishing the creative spirit.

My day job offers me the opportunity to draw (or at least design) most days, and while it’s not quite the same when done for someone else’s marketing pursuits, I’m willing to let it suffice for the drawing requirement. For writing, on the other hand, I’m ready to regain the discipline of that daily, intentional, time-sensitive writing diary again. I’ve decided to begin the “practice” of writing for at least 15 minutes at the end of each day about something relevant to my experiences during those 24 hours–whether deeds, words, distractions or thoughts. I originally thought of the concept with my “500 or 15″ posting tag featuring 500 words or 15 minutes on the topic at the top of the heap. I still like that topical approach (and will pursue it), but I’m eager to hone my attention span with a more time-centered requirement. I don’t promise to share the fruit of every 15 minutes, but I’m sure you’ll be privy to the scores and highlights.

Day one of the 15 minute experiment down.

A Wild Hare

For the last two days I’ve been experimenting with adding advertising to my blog. Yeah, I know. I’m not sure two days can be called actual experimentation. It’s more like a wild hare, a knot in my stomach, cold feet and a lightbulb moment. (Please excuse the quadruple mixed metaphor.)

Some of you may know that the annual Blogher conference came and went not too long ago. It’s an event that’s become pretty significant in the blogosphere, focusing on women bloggers in all their many genres. Some of the bloggers I regularly read were, of course, in attendance, and some were even party hosts, lecture givers and round table participants. I didn’t attend the conference. I suppose the possibility never really occurred to me. I have 3 gifts at home that I simply can’t bear to leave for even one night, and I guess, in actuality, I don’t really consider that writing EyeJunkie warrants all that hooplah. Then, there’s my other jobs I have to consider.

Since the conference ended, I’ve seen several recap and response posts around my cyber reading list as well as a few hundred (or so) tweet references about it. The women’s b-sphere is all abuzz with “what I learned,” “what swag I got (or didn’t),” “what I liked (or didn’t),” “who I met (or wished I had)” and the like. I’ve been absorbing and thinking and wondering “can I write a Blogher post without attending?”

Tonight along about cold feet in the process, I realized I could. You see, I had a wild hare–a rabbit I just had to chase down. I’ve been seeing words in those Blogher posts like “monetize,” “analytics,” “tribe” and “personal brand” tossed around quite frequently. They’re the buzz words of blogging these days, and they can be quite enamoring. The idea of tribes of followers hanging on your every written word could be appealing. The lure of advertising dollars related to my blog sounds good. The goal of creating a readily recognized personal online persona certainly buffs the feathers a bit. In my own “analytics” I’ve seen a steady increase in my meager readers and page views, so on a wild hare I said to myself “What the hay, why not?” And, I up and added some advertising to my blog — ignoring the other voice that said, “Haven’t you always said ‘I’m not going to put advertising on my personal blog. I’ll save that for freelance work.’?”

I’ve had my eye on a unique advertising conduit called Project Wonderful — which I would probably recommend had my advertising “experiment” lasted more than two days, and incidentally during the two days it worked exactly as they claimed it would, but that’s beside the point. The point is: I jumped off into the world of blog advertising with (count ‘em) one Project Wonderful ad. Then, in a moment of what I can only claim as sheer insanity, I took a flying leap into the incomprehensible world of Google AdSense with (count ‘em) one ad block.

That’s the point when the knot in my stomach appeared. That “other voice” I mentioned started nagging away. I spent the day playing with kids at home on a holiday, doing laundry, chasing down various toy cars and trucks — and incessantly checking Project Wonderful and Google AdSense to discover the $0.0005 and $0.00 respectively I earned today from my blog advertising. What? Plus, I found my obsessive design-minded eyes continually drawn to the spot just below the “recent posts” where I had placed the ugly ads with the knot growing bigger.

Here’s where the cold feet set in. Is this the blogging life for me? Do I really want to spend my spare time (giggle) deciphering cost per impression ratios and pouring over uniques and referring sites? It’s interesting, maybe, but is that how I want to invest my creativity? Do I really want to be confronted daily with the realization that I would probably have to blog for decades before I reached the minimum payout required for withdrawing advertising revenue?

Right about there was where the lightbulb moment stepped in. I am not a “big name blogger.” I’m me, and I’m ok with that. I started EyeJunkie as a creative outlet, an inspiration and encouragement to write, an opportunity to share my thoughts and maybe make a few connections. I don’t want to key word and topic channel the creativity right out of it. I’m thankful for the beloved few loyal readers, subscribers, Network Blog followers and random Twitter clickers and Google searchers that make their way through these parts. Would I like more? Sure. Do I want to hinge it on 6/1000 of a cent and a chance for “removing unwanted wrinkles”? Not so much. There you have it.

So, yeah, I chased a wild hare today.  But, in Miss Belle the Beagle fashion, I was only too happy to chase that sucker right back to the little hole where it came from and howl like it’s nobody’s business.

Oh Happy Day! Exhibits 1-4

{Great blog, BTW.} Happy Friday, again! Don’t these three chickadees just bubble over with summer happiness? Nothing says “happy day” like white petticoats, ribboned hats and roller skates! The art is an embellished scan from my little “vintage” magazine collection–Ladies Home Journal from May 1933, illustrated by Gertrude Kay.

Just a little bit of Junkie trivia: I enjoy collect vintage magazines for their great ads and illustrations (and the imagined stories their yellowed mailing labels imply). I particularly like mid-20th century versions from the 1930s-1960s. Norman Rockwell is a classic favorite. Freedom from Want hangs above my desk in the dining room. It’s a two-page spread from the 1943 Saturday Evening Post showing Rockwell’s wonderful dinner table and the first page of Carlos Bulosan’s corresponding essay. No, it’s not one of the pristine prints available in abundance. I prefer tearing the pages out of the magazines where they were printed in undigitized four-color process and read for 10¢ or 15¢ from the newstand. I guess it’s the old school commercial artist in me. I suppose I also take a word lover’s pleasure in thumbing through the issues to see three columns of uninterrupted text, not bottom-lined and bullet-pointed for today’s snack-sizes readers. Old advertisements have popped up all over our house, from Crest ads in the bathroom to Ford motorcar ads in the living room. It’s a little obsession that indulges my designer/illustrator tendencies. File that under “rabbit trail.”

Back to girls on skates! Oh happy day! Friday marks the end of the work week and pizza night in a very rewarding writing/blogging week. Happy EyeJunkie. Citizen media often surprises me, and this week has been full of the kind of serendipity that made me sigh, jump, giggle and cry in response.

Happy Exhibit 1

I’ve posted every day this week–sometimes with words, sometimes with pictures, sometimes with both [a graphic designer's dream]. The combination of words and pictures represents two of the creative bents I’ve had since childhood, and I’m wanting to meld them together a little more at EyeJunkie. I think the result will be a much more expressive whole. And could possibly lend itself to silliness as well. [Don't hold me to the posting every day thing :)]

Happy Exhibit 2

One of the editors I work with over at BrightHub.com invited me to write for her new Entrepreneurship “channel.” This topic area will give me the opportunity to write more about marketing for small and start-up businesses, which is what I spend much of my day job doing. I’m very excited about the challenge.

Happy Exhibit 3

After being the subject of MIPOTW last week, Marybeth Hicks, author of Bringing Up Geeks paid me the wonderful compliment of linking to my MeMyBook&Eye starter post on her home page–and sent me a rah rah email about it! That was very encouraging and incredibly kind since I haven’t started really posting about her book yet. It’s always gratifying when someone you admire takes note of one of your hair-brained ideas.  Thank you, Marybeth.
[Stay tuned for the Geek Episode 1 on Monday for MeMyBook&Eye. I promise]

Happiest Exhibit 4

Perhaps the greatest blog blessing this week surrounds my post for “Blogging for LGBT Families Day.” After much soul searching and dodging and mental hopping around, the post practically wrote itself in my head as I was trying to fall asleep on Sunday night. I had all but decided I wasn’t going to open that can of worms, but my internal insomniac editor said “oh, go ahead.” My concern was balancing honesty, questions I still have and the desire not to offend–that and the fear of being blasted by one side of the issue or another. But, my hope to continue a dialog that’s begun was greater than the fear. Frankly, the response has been overwhelming and extremely rewarding. Dana Rudolph, author of Mombian.com and initiator of the 4th annual event amazed me by highlighting my writing as one from the list that made the greatest impression on her personally. [Many thanks, Dana]

For some reason, the post has struck a cord with several people in exposing deep hurts that have been caused by the typical family conservative approach. I have been astounded by the LGBT community’s prevalent impression of how rarely Christians are willing to pause, listen and look. Unfortunately, I can’t say the assumption is unfounded. I have been deeply touched by the communication I’ve received in response to the post, and I invite my conservative friends to take a kind and respectful gander. I’m looking forward to continuing the dialog that has begun.