Gift Tag: Sing!

It’s hard to muster up a song sometimes. The tiredness of the day, the busyness of the schedule and the frustration of the combination sometimes just sucks the song right out of me. Then, I hear the simple, sweetly spoken request. “Sing!”

Our nightly bedtime ritual includes a beloved lullaby CD that I made for Little Drummer Boy and Bug from iTunes downloads several years ago. The CD is worn and the sound is crackly from use. The songs are so familiar that any time we hear them on the radio, a chorus of “our bedtime song!” follows in unison. Each night as each boy takes his turn reading with Mommy, then climbing in bed, I cover them with blankets, rub their backs and start the music. Invariably on the weariest nights, the nights when supper was late on the table and baths took longer than expected, the ones when I’ve been the most impatient or the most haggard, I hear it. “Sing!”

It’s hard for an impatient heart to sing a song of peace. It’s hard for a hurried heart to sing a song of rest. It’s hard for a heart screaming with a million and one distractions to sing a quiet song. Still, in this heart of indulgence toward my precious gifts, I try. I sing. “Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus. And live.”

Something happens when I ignore the resistance amid yawns. When I lay aside the fatigue and the irritability and offer the frequently off-key and misregistered melody of “yes” to my little ones, I find that my heart actually opens to believing the lyrics anew, to embracing the words I impart. And in my spirit, I say “yes.” I sing.

Sometimes God allows me a special blessing akin to the one He enjoys from His children. Every now and then my gifts sing along–their minds following and anticipating, but only able to release the last words of each line. Often the only word they sing clearly is “Jesus.” Their tender hearts, unstained by cynicism and self-consciousness, sing out to Him. Ever open, all that they are calls out to all that they know of Him. In that moment, unhidden, it’s His name. In song.

And in that moment, opened by their openness, I find that I sing. Broken down and revealed, in desperate restlessness, pronouncing peace, I sing. To these gifts. To this God of all seasons, of all days. And, all that I can know of my heart calls out to all that I recognize of Him–summarized. In His name.

I sing.

Untitled Hymn by Chris Rice (our personal favorite)

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden’s lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don’t be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall…so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can’t contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory’s side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Gift Tags are the tiny messages God continues to include with our gifts — 2 little joys of boys and 1 little jewel of a girl, each with open eyes, open ears, open hearts, and much to teach. “Behold children are a gift of the Lord…” (psalm 127:1)

Thurs Thirty: Favorites from the First Decade

… of being married to Quiver

1. Little Drummer Boy

2. Squiggle Bug

3. Baby Girl (in the order of their unwrapping)

4. Having chairs in the kitchen

5. Quiver sitting in one of them to talk while I cook

6. Living in the same space

7. The smell of freshly washed & dried XL white cotton tee shirts

8. Quiver’s Elvis impersonation and subsequent ad lib

9. Buying pottery together for our collection

10. Five chairs filled around the same dinner table

11. 409 Myrtle

12. How he “puts me in” my side of the car & closes the door

13. Being called “good thing”

14. Lunch dates

15. Making as many pit stops as we want on trips

16. Getting hand-picked wild flowers arranged in a vase

17. Getting hand-picked wild flowers from two little men in training (facilitated by Quiver)

18. Watching Quiver and one of our gifts asleep together

19. Learning plant names

20. Driving the Natchez Trace when the Dogwoods and Redbuds are in bloom

21. Quiver’s love of a good design

22. Family bedtime prayers

23. Hanging out in the front porch swing

24. Starting our own holiday traditions

25. “Let’s all go!”

26. Donuts from Shipleys waiting on the table on Saturday morning

27. Two Three boys wrestling and the requisite squeals

28. Lazy Sunday afternoons when all the gifts are asleep

29. Watching a good daddy at work even though he didn’t have one

30. Laughter-filled rooms

Tues Ten 072109: Marriage A to Z

I think I mentioned that at the end of this month Hub and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary. We were married on July 31, 1999 at a ceremony in the little country church where my parents also tied the knot. The reception was held afterwards at my parents’ home. Being July in Mississippi, it was insanely hot and sweaty, but we had the time of our lives. I put my heart and soul into planning it to be very personal for us. And, Hub tagged along with the appropriate smiles and nods at all my crazy ideas.

Speaking of crazy ideas… Probably about two weeks before the wedding, I had a brainstorm. I’m sure it popped into my mind sometime in the middle of the night. I wanted to give some favors to our friends in the wedding party, some of our family and generally folks who made the day especially meaningful. My brainstorm was a custom, handmade coloring book given along with an 8-pack of Crayolas. Yep, you read the handmade part correctly, and that was probably the part that gave Hub the most pause. But, I was undeterred. My theme: A Wedding Coloring Book from A to Z. Over the course of the next few days, I came up with 26 wedding thank yous and memories that would tip a hat to all our own favorite aspects, each beginning with a different letter of the alphabet and including a corresponding message. Hub and I tag-teamed drawing cartoons to represent each letter, and I designed the rest. Then, I began the slow (and obsessively insane) process of printing, cutting, gluing, hole-punching and binding about 30 of them. I think I purchased a corresponding 30 spiral bound tablets from which I stole the spiral binding. I believe we still have some of those holed and lined, but LOOSE pages.

I won’t share all the cartoons at the moment, but for this week’s Tuesday Ten I give you 10 of the included letters. (Pretty much as they appeared in the Coloring Book)

1. A is for Aunts… and Cousins who cooked, decorated, served, sang, encourages & generally helped us prepare for our rehearsal, wedding and reception.

2. D is for Dresses… like the blue-purple ones the bridesmaids wore & my wedding dress worn by my Mom and made by my Grandmother

3. N is for it’s None… of your business where we’re staying. (for the honeymoon)

4. I is for I… Do! Woo-Hoo! We’re married! You may now kiss the bride.

5. C is for [Salem United Methodist] Church… where strong knots are tied.

6. H is for [my parents] the H____… Thanks for hosting our reception at your house, but mostly for creating our home full of love, laughter & real life.

7. T is for Tabitha… the new kitty in town. Here’s hoping for peaceful coexistence with Big Brother Buddy.
[You may have met Buddy the cat. Peaceful coexistence was hard to come by and involved a few arguments. R.I.P., Foo Foo (Tabitha). Buddy does not miss you, but we do.]

8. W is for Wedding Cake… to munch & all the other great reception yummies like fruit, chocolate, little balls & pies & maybe even Worms.

9. V is for the Vows… we took to be the best husband and wife we can be to each other. To love and be committed to each other for always. To be a family.

And finally…

10. Q is for the full Quiver… we hope God will grow out of the little Quiver that happens in our hearts when we look at each other. (mushy, mushy)
[See psalm 127… which describes the blessing of a "quiver" full of children]

With that last one, I’m making a Junkie shift. My introductions refer to Hub, and yes, there are some nice metaphors around that word in regard to the object of my lifelong love and commitment (just 10 years young). But, it’s just not the right word. I want his moniker to say more. When I read back through our silly approach to wedding favors, I realized what his new Junkie name should be: Quiver.

It is difficult to describe all that our marriage has come to represent–love intertwined with a commitment that transcends hardship, a consistent place of belonging, a new combined concept of family, the abundant recipient of three beautiful gifts valued beyond measure, the freedom to laugh and cry, the joy of the mundane, the elevation of the daily to celebration, the resting place of familiarity. Though I often fail miserably at remembering those things or demonstrating those things, our life still brings a quiver to my soul. My heart still moves at the very concept that “we go.” As I look around at the quiver of blessings we’ve been given, I see the hope and future of our promise. And I smile.

Tardy Solstice

It seems I’m tardy with many things these days. My only excuse is the daily occurrence of real life, joyous and challenging as it may be. Saturday was the Summer Solstice, the “first day” of summer, although our already humid 90 degree temperatures in Mississippi over the last week said it was at least a little overdue. Our Saturday was spent enjoying 2009’s longest day at my parent’s home. After yummy food and racing cars and stickered airplanes and much drooling and searching for “flint” rocks (ones I’ve yet to learn how to distinguish) and late afternoon naps and shouting and extra time with Daddy, it was 11:30pm before my three gifts could be coaxed to embrace the night, long after the sun had given up it’s day of “triumph.” Earlier in the week, a friend encouraged me to stare at everyone I love a little more closely these days in light of the unexpected brevity of life. I was decidedly blessed to take her up on the challenge the few extra daylight moments.

I came across a wonderful program called American Life in Poetry, which highlights modern poetry selections with notes from former U.S. Poet Laureate, Ted Kooser. Our local Arts Council has used it in their newsletter (which I design) for years. I’ve only recently paid closer attention and realized that the weekly offering is made available for free publication. A recent column was very apropos in beautifully articulating the push and pull of day and night this time of year.

American Life in Poetry: Column 220
BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE

One of the privileges of being U.S. Poet Laureate was to choose two poets each year to receive a $10,000 fellowship, funded by the Witter Bynner Foundation. Joseph Stroud, who lives in California, was one of my choices. This poem is representative of his clear-eyed, imaginative poetry.

Night in Day

The night never wants to end, to give itself over
to light. So it traps itself in things: obsidian, crows.
Even on summer solstice, the day of light’s great
triumph, where fields of sunflowers guzzle in the sun—
we break open the watermelon and spit out
black seeds, bits of night glistening on the grass.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright (c)2001 by Coleman Barks, from his most recent book of poems, “Winter Sky: New and Selected Poems, 1968-2008,” University of Georgia Press, 2008, and reprinted by permission of Coleman Barks and the publisher. Introduction copyright (c)2009 by The Poetry Foundation.  The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.  We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Lovely. I think I’ll search out more of Mr. Stroud’s work. One caveat: Light seems just as unwilling to give up it’s hold on our hearts. On Wednesday, the boys and Hub were out chasing “lightening bugs” in the guise of doing chores for Miss Belle (the beagle). Upon their return, all sweaty and giggling, they informed me they had caught two. Only, one “COULD NOT turn his light off.”

Much like the lights of my life.

Shabbat Blessedness

It was crowded. There were so many distractions that God found a quiet, lonely place to wait. When I stopped struggling and came to sit at His feet in that lonely place, He began to teach me. He spoke to me:

“Blessed are you when you are poor and broken in spirit. This makes you understand my kingdom, for my love for you have been nurtured out of loneliness. My loneliness even brought you into being.

It is good when you mourn because it helps you cry for the hurts of others as well as your own. Don’t be discouraged, I will comfort you.

Blessed are you when you are gentle and meek. You learn a silent strength that will bring you success in my kingdom on earth.

I am so pleased when I see you long for holiness and truth like you long for food and water. I want you to be happy, and I will satisfy you.

Blessed are you when you show mercy and compassion because I will give that to you when you need it.

It is good for you to examine your heart and be honest with yourself and Me. Only when you trust me enough to truly reveal yourself to Me will I reveal Myself in greater ways to you.

Be a peacemaker. Seek to bridge gaps and heal hurts. You know that a child takes after his Father. Peacemaking is one of My greatest attributes. After all, that is what brought you back to Me.

You will be blessed when you take a stand for Me, when you abandon to Me. Even though it may be costly, you will be blessed. That, most of all, symbolizes my feelings and commitment to you: love to the point of pain and beyond.”

[paraphrase of matthew 5:1-12, "The Beatitudes"]