Coming Home: Labor Day Memories

Happy Labor Day! Last year on this day, I brought my Baby Girl home from the hospital for the first time. It gives new meaning to the celebration no “labor.”  Beyond culminating the discomfort of an August pregnancy in Mississippi, I remember feeling so incredibly overjoyed to actually hold her on the outside, to see and touch her. I remember that feeling with each of my gifts. Those few days in the hospital are necessary, but restless. Whether it’s the physical relief of being able to sit or rise unassisted from overstuffed chairs again or the contentment of finally bringing a little one into the nest you’ve prepared, there’s just something comforting about the soul sigh that comes with bringing a baby home.

I love coming home. I enjoy the feeling of driving up to the place where you lay your head. It gives a tangible spin to that sense of belonging created by family. For my preschoolers, home is the center of their view of the world, their understanding of how life works. Each person expresses it differently, but the comfort and joy of home makes its way into every heart.

For Squiggle, it’s the announcement of our arrival. We choose our left or right turns out of the preschool parking lot. We “wheee” down a few hills and look for elusive tractors and firetrucks, but the last turn with our driveway in view is unmistakable. “There’s OUR house.”

For Little Drummer Boy, it’s opening the door for everyone. We race to get out of the truck with juice cups and favorite friends in hand. We make our way up the walkway with no skinned knees and our armloads in tact. And then, Little Drummer Boy opens the door. Usually a small crack gives a quick peek inside, and then he bursts in with a bang. Bouncing into the big red chair means we are home.

For Quiver, it comes out in more subtle ways. Finally coming home is turning off the lights in his downstairs office and taking off his work boots. It’s closing the safety gate at the top of the steps with Baby Girl smiles greeting him. Sometimes I think it’s the trappings of having a celebration-junkie wife in the house. For grilling out, “Are you gonna get out that blue cloth? ‘Cause that makes it nice.” After furniture rearranging, “This is nice. It’s good to have a change sometimes.” “That smells nice,” from a freshly cleaned bathroom. Often home is the details men don’t do for themselves.

For Baby Girl, it’s my comfort level. In our house I know she can try out her walking virtually free from a constant eye. With a few doors strategically closed and the familiar placement of our toys, she doesn’t necessarily need me to monitor her progress. And let’s not forget the faithful “Mommy!” from Little Drummer Boy or Squiggle should she wander into forbidden territory. That’s just part of home.

For me, it’s all of the above.

Last Labor Day weekend, Baby Girl came unexpectedly. I knew something was a little different when I woke up on August 30th. When my water broke at the breakfast table, it was an unmistakable clue, and we were off to the races. We were only in the hospital room for an hour and a half before Baby Girl made her debut. She was two weeks early, and she’s been pushing the envelope ever since, eager to catch up with her brothers.

This year for Labor Day, we are nursing Baby Girl back to health from a case of the flu and dosing up everyone else to try and prevent it from spreading. The flu changed our Labor Day plans for a weekend on the farm, but we are still enjoying an extra day away from the normal schedule of work. I’m thinking about home and work, and rest from labor. One of Little Drummer Boy’s morning prayer requests filters to the surface.

“Let Mommy not get lost at work.”

It was followed by the request to “not let Squiggle get lost at home,” but it stuck. It’s an admonition I take to heart. As much as I enjoy my job and freelance writing, I don’t want to get lost there. I don’t even want to get lost in blogging. I always want to come home–physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want to offer the best of myself to these gifts in this home, and pay my closest attention here where so much is riding on it. It’s a good reminder this Labor Day.

Oh Happy Day 090409: Here’s to Being Small

Steps. Conversations. Babies (of all sizes). Opportunities. “Undaunted enthusiasm.” Getting unplugged. And, blue skies.

All of those showed up in my (almost) daily lists of 5 “thankful for” things this week. Oh happy day! They represent the birth of a friend’s child, my own baby turning one, my 2 1/2 year-old’s spontaneous dance moves, new and challenging work possibilities for Quiver and I, and September. As is so often the case, my gratitude this week has centered on the three gifts in my house that have so impacted our lives. With Baby Girl’s first birthday on Sunday, I spent the first of the week remembering her arrival a year ago and marveling at how quickly she’s grown.

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It was just about at that point in my train of thoughts about the week that I got the call from daycare this afternoon. One quick trip through football weekend traffic, a walk-in visit to the doctor and five prescriptions later, we’re a statistic. Yes, Baby Girl was diagnosed with the flu, likely H1N1. What’s happy about that?

No, it’s not exactly how I envisioned spending the Labor Day holiday. It’s not what I hoped for Baby Girl’s first full week as a one-year-old. No, this isn’t the post I wrote in my mind–the one about the joy of unplugging Kermit, my trusty laptop, and heading to the farm for a 3-day weekend under the brilliant blue September sky, three gifts, an armload of books and a few dumptrucks in tow. That one’s still in there, just put on hold for a little while. I didn’t want to misplace my gratitude attitude in just the first week of the Oh Happy Day Project, so I was forced to ask myself: Just what am I thankful for now?

Summed up, I’m thankful I live in a small town. I may not have a Gap within a 50-mile radius, but here’s what I do have. I can get to my daughter in 10 minutes–at 4:15 on the Friday afternoon before the first home college football game of the season. I can walk into the doctor’s office at 4:30 and actually see her although they don’t accept walk-ins after 4pm. My doctor remembers seeing Baby Girl just this Monday, as well as the medicines for croup she put her on. She also remembers the names of my other children as she writes them a preventative prescription for Tamiflu. Life in a small town means the owner of the pharmacy takes time to speak with Quiver about our prescriptions, which they are able to fill before closing. And, I’m not really surprised that we can also get a call at home–at 8pm–from the same owner making sure we don’t have any other questions. (Can you say locally owned and operated?) Then, there’s the maroon-clad boys who come running in after enjoying a day of “tailgating parties” at preschool. In a small town, happenings at the university matter to almost everyone, even 4-year-olds.  Of course, the one-hour wait for Friday night pizza delivery is really only 30 minutes. And, The Great Muppet Caper is (almost) always available at the public library to supplement our pizza picnic. Here’s to being small!

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Incidentally, good news… I’ve discovered that gratitude has a no cancellation policy. H1N1 may certainly have a wet blanket effect, but my daily “5 things” don’t lose their gratitude points because of it. As it turns out, I’m still quite thankful that Emily’s baby was born early and small, but strong. The Queen and I still had a great conversation about possible upcoming projects, proving synergy is alive and kicking. The Bug dance is still an undaunted show-stopper.  Quiver is still an incredibly good man. September still offers the promise of cooler weather and more brilliant skies. And though feverish, Baby Girl is still one and stepping out.

Oh Happy Day!

S is for Soft

Soft is the smooth touch
of my baby girl’s cheek
against mine, her skin
aglow in unfettered smiles
barely touched by the world.
the brush of eyelashes hovering
over a cloudless blue.

Soft is her sweet breath
against my nose, deepening
my inhale. in and out,
the gentle fluttering
of one thousand hopes and dreams
between her heart
and mine.

Soft is the whisper
of her sleepy fingers
against my shoulder,
the plump and eager toes
too worn with the day.
the patter of steps and moments
as they tiptoe away.

Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Girl! Your softness has forever melted my heart.

That Little Girl

Welcome to August! This month’s desktop wallpaper calendar is inspired by the little lump of sugar and spice in my life. She’s turning one on August 30, and we are simply in awe of her. My compliments to The Searchers for their apropos lyrics. “Kisses sweeter than wine”–my sentiments exactly. You know that little girl is mine.

Click the
takeout box
to grab a
full screen copy.

Gift Tag: Finding Fingers

When Baby Girl was not quite two months old, I remember a smile creeping to my face as she would hold her hands up in front of her face and stare at her own fingers. Watching intently as each finger moved, she was fascinated by them, and I by her again. I have loved that moment with each of my gifts–that moment when they discovered for the first time, “Hey, those are mine. I can move them.”  Finding your fingers is a monumental step.

She found her fingers, then found that she could move them, then that she could hold things. As the sense of discovery moved from her fingers to her toes, she realized that toes were good for chewing. Naturally, putting fingers and toes together brought a whole new dimension to life: mobility. Sitting, skooching, lop-sided crawling, standing, stepping while holding on. Now, we’re approaching another more literal monumental step. THE monumental step. The first. I’m not sure I’m really ready because I know one small step for Baby Girl is one giant leap for off-to-the-races. We can only barely contain her perpetual motion as it is, and her brothers are already quite often vexed by her speed, agility and desire to join the game. I can only imagine what ramifications THE step will bring to that scenario.

Still, as I watch Baby Girl, I can’t help but think about that day in October when I first noticed her find her fingers. Look how much she’s grown. Look how far she’s come. Look how our lives around her have changed, just from her ownership of those tiny, precious digits.

In the months since Baby Girl’s discovery, I have been sitting on the cusp of finding fingers for myself. In seasons of dissatisfaction or seeking after something new, I’ve realized that change requires the discovery of my own ownership of where I am. If I want a situation or attitude to be different, I must find my fingers. I must find my action and my will to move. Even if the change I think I seek is in another person, I can only move myself. I’ve been convicted that I must BE the change I want to occur around me.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (psalm 37:4)

Again and again, I’ve come back to that familiar promise. How easily I can focus on the delight and the desires. But, if I step back one verse, I see the first grasp of the fingers. “Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” Even before delighting in the Lord Himself comes taking posession of the land He’s put me in. Comes the willingness to live there. The gumption to cultivate it.

If I want a more loving and peaceful home, I must sow seeds of love and peace by my own actions and attitudes. If I want to see new areas of creativity blossom, I must discipline myself to take the steps to weed and water. If I want the description of my daily life to be different, then I must take the effort to cultivate changes row by row, seed by seed and snip by snip. And, that effort begins with the realization that, “Hey, those are mine. I can move them.” Monumental steps, and indeed carefree running, begin with finding fingers.

Gift Tags are the tiny messages God continues to include with our gifts — 2 little joys of boys and 1 little jewel of a girl, each with open eyes, open ears, open hearts, and much to teach. “Behold children are a gift of the Lord…” (psalm 127:1)