MeMyBook&Eye Preview: Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham

October 5th, 2009

When Thomas Nelson offered me the opportunity to review Marcus Buckingham’s Find Your Strongest Life through their Book Review Bloggers program, my first thought was this: There’s something immediately suspect about a man–no matter how well-educated–telling women how to be happy. I’ll go ahead and say it.

However, I only made it a few pages into the book before I was sold on what he had to say–not only his message, but his methodology. This captivating and well-conceived book isn’t your typical self-help offering. Strongly grounded in research and in Mr. Buckingham’s experienced career in evaluating and drawing conclusions from statistics, Strongest Life, offers more than a feel-good message. It offers a recommended practice of achieving the strong life of joy and success we all seek.

Mr. Buckingham begins Find Your Strongest Life by quantifying the paradox I’ve seen so often among women today–the fact that although we have achieved an increased number of career opportunities, pay scale plateaus and glass-ceiling breaks, women still lack happiness. As Buckingham concludes from the available research, “Over the last forty years women have secured for themselves greater opportunity, greater achievement, greater influence and more money. But over the same time period, they have become less happy, more anxious, and more stressed; and, in ever-increasing numbers, they are medicating themselves for it.”

Telling.

Find Your Strongest Life pinpoints some key commonalities at the emotional level among women who’ve created “strong” lives, or lives that are both effective and fulfilled. These “strong” lives build on and expand moments when women are being true to themselves and their innate personality traits and unique gifts. He calls them moments when we have an undeniable sense of self-efficacy–when we are at our most assured and engaged, filled with joy and hope.

After interviews with countless women, Buckingham also recognized a common thought “practice” present in women living “strong” lives. The practice runs right up my alley in that it involves paying attention to our own lives, noticing those “strong moments” when we are at our best selves. By nuturing and expanding those moments, we build our strongest life.

Although Mr. Buckingham doesn’t explicitly address the issue of faith directly, I believe that the approach he advocates can help us recognize the gifts and skills God has given each of us as women. By prayerfully examining actions and situations that truly give us joy without the deceptive constraints of guilt, others’ expectations, “should haves” and “ought tos” we can begin to make choices that reflect the unique spirit God has placed within every person.

Finding Your Strongest Life includes a “Strong Life Test” designed to measure women against nine key life roles and determine the “lead” and “supporting” roles each individual was designed to play. Mr. Buckingham offers techniques, inspiration and many real-life examples for how to accept those roles and play to our strengths. His easy-going and down-to-earth prose was credible and a delight to read–so much so that I want to read it again.

I’ve decided to include Find Your Strongest Life as the next MeMyBook&Eye reading selection. While I’d recommend you getting a copy for yourself, you can always read vicariously with me over the next few weeks as I delve a little deeper into how this book affects my adventure in paying attention. I’m planning one or two more posts in the current 10-10-10series, and then I’ll be ready for some strength training. Stay tuned!

When Thomas Nelson offered me the opportunity to review Marcus Buckingham’s Find Your Strongest Life through their Book Review Bloggers program, my first thought was this: There’s something immediately suspect about a man–no matter how well-educated–telling women how to be happy. I’ll go ahead and say it.

However, I only made it a few pages into the book before I was sold on what he had to say–not only his message, but his methodology. This captivating and well-conceived book isn’t your typical self-help offering. Strongly grounded in research and in Mr. Buckingham’s experienced career in evaluating and drawing conclusions from statistics, Strongest Life, offers more than a feel-good message. It offers a recommended practice of achieving the strong life of joy and success we all seek.

Mr. Buckingham begins Find Your Strongest Life by quantifying the paradox I’ve seen so often among women today–the fact that although we have achieved an increased number of career opportunities, pay scale plateaus and glass-ceiling breaks, women still lack happiness. As Buckingham concludes from the available research, “Over the last forty years women have secured for themselves greater opportunity, greater achievement, greater influence and more money. But over the same time period, they have become less happy, more anxious, and more stressed; and, in ever-increasing numbers, they are medicating themselves for it.”

Telling.

Find Your Strongest Life pinpoints some key commonalities at the emotional level among women who’ve created “strong” lives, or lives that are both effective and fulfilled. These “strong” lives build on and expand moments when women are being true to themselves and their innate personality traits and unique gifts. He calls them moments when we have an undeniable sense of self-efficacy–when we are at our most assured and engaged, filled with joy and hope.

After interviews with countless women, Buckingham also recognized a common thought “practice” present in women living “strong” lives. The practice runs right up my alley in that it involves paying attention to our own lives, noticing those “strong moments” when we are at our best selves. By nuturing and expanding those moments, we build our strongest life.

Although Mr. Buckingham doesn’t explicitly address the issue of faith directly, I believe that with a measure of discernment the approach he advocates can help us recognize the gifts and skills God has given each of us as women. By prayerfully examining actions and situations that truly give us joy without the deceptive constraints of guilt, others’ expectations, “should haves” and “ought tos” we can begin to make choices that reflect the unique spirit God has placed within every person.

Finding Your Strongest Life includes a “Strong Life Test” designed to measure women against nine key life roles and determine the “lead” and “supporting” roles each individual was designed to play. Mr. Buckingham offers techniques, inspiration and many real-life examples for how to accept those roles and play to our strengths. His easy-going and down-to-earth prose was credible and a delight to read–so much so that I want to read it again!

I’ve decided to include Find Your Strongest Life as the next MeMyBook&Eye reading selection. While I’d recommend you getting a copy for yourself, you can always read vicariously with me over the next few weeks as I delve a little deeper into how this book affects my adventure in paying attention. I’m planning one or two more posts in the current 10-10-10 series, and then I’ll be ready for some strength training. Stay tuned!

© Haley Montgomery
Filed under MeMyBook&Eye, Reading + Writing | Comment (0)

MeMyBook&Eye: Working the Numbers, Ep.2

September 30th, 2009

No, it’s not Monday, but I didn’t want Banned Book Week to snuff out MeMyBook&Eye entirely. So, now showing at a special time, it’s 10-10-10 Episode #2!

Suzy Welch’s “life transforming idea” offers a process for making decisions based on how the consequences measure up in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. The ways in which those consequences influence our core values forms the basis for intentional choices that help us live a life of our own making. I like it.

It’s obvious from a few key chapters in the book that Ms. Welch is well-versed in evaluating the requirements and responsibilities of the working world, and anecdotes from her own experiences are resounding evidence of her understanding of the particular struggles of working women. Chapters Five and Six offer insights and eye-opening examples of how 10-10-10 can be applied effectively to the work arena–both in business strategy and in personal work decisions.

Thoughts on the Value of Work

“Sociologists have long held that work is a primary source of identity in our lives, giving us direction and purpose and serving as the organizing principle of our days.” (pg. 102)

Right there my mind started protesting. I’m a working mother, but wait a minute. Is work really a “primary source of identity.” Sure, a “work ethic” is a litmus test of character, but what about work itself? As I read through Chapter Five I began to realize that somehow my circle of influencers had convinced me that work should be devalued–that it’s value should be set aside, if indeed it had any value in the first place. I realized that, at my core, I really don’t feel that way. I DO see work as valuable–and not just the work that feeds starving children. When it comes to women in the workplace, there is a segment of our culture that perpetrates the concept that women shouldn’t find fulfillment in work. And, all too often, that segment centers in people of faith.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe work should be the “be all and end all” for women, or for any human being for that matter. I don’t wonder why my family can’t appreciate my desire to work. I don’t struggle with what’s most important. My gifts and my home life win hands down. But, I like my work. I enjoy what I do. I find it fulfilling and stimulating. I “identify” many aspects of myself through work, as the sociologists say. And, while it doesn’t necessarily govern my full purpose in life, I do have certain gifts that I want to put to use in the world outside the walls of my precious home base.

Indeed, whatever form an individual’s work takes, be it work in an office, work in a field or work in a home, the act of working is valuable. The act of setting goals and accomplishing tasks is valuable. The act of giving something all you have until it is complete is valuable. The act of resting when it is done is valuable. There is dignity and a commonality with God and creation in the act of work, for even God Himself wills and “work(s) for His good pleasure.”

Sustainable Solutions

I like Suzy Welch’s approach to creating work satisfaction and fulfillment in the traditional job sense. The phrase “sustainable solutions” stood out as important. Sustainable choices and situations are not affected by the passing influx of cash or credit–money or affirmation. In fact, in the three primary considerations Ms. Welch suggests for determining work values, pay day didn’t really factor in at all. She suggested asking the following questions:

1. Does the job allow me to work with “my people?” Or, does it require me to put on a persona? Finding peers and colleagues who share your values and appreciate you for who you are authentically is an important work fulfillment meter.

2. Does my job make me smarter? Stagnant water produces all kinds of stinky organisms that eventually squeeze the life out of a life-giving substance. Fulfillment requires growth. Without it, opportunity dies. Work that challenges us creates a sense of value.

3. Does the work give me meaning? Ms. Welch calls it the “joy factor.” And it’s ok to acknowledge it and search it out.

The Fallacy of Balance

I’m reading a lot about this these days and realizing just how true it is. “Balance” is a myth. I know from experience that working women–working mothers, especially–often spend a lot of time trying to “balance” work and home. The reality, however, is that there can’t be equality among values. Ms. Welch makes the very valid observation that “balance” is about trade-offs. It’s about finding the tipping point at which your life begins to stray from what you want it to be about.

In seeking to line up my roles as employee, manager, wife, mother, friend, homekeeper, [insert yours here], I have to know how my values line up. They can’t all be top priority, and only I can determine how important each one is in creating the overall life of value I want to lead. Something has to take precedence.

Precedence doesn’t mean that at times we won’t shift priorities to accomplish the need of the moment, but we have to keep the “main thing” the main thing (as I remember from my old days in the MSU Baptist Student Union). The 10-10-10 process seems to be a good vehicle for determining when that shift is important and when it is a smokescreen fo guilt, distraction or just plain impulsiveness. Values equal choices. There’s no getting around it. If values are to govern our lives and inspire action, then they will invariably require choices–defacto, conscious or otherwise. Deal with it. And, choose.

All too often we let the opinions or values of others dictate how we set our tipping point–whether it’s a boss or a screaming child or a well-meaning friend. But, noone can really determine my values but me. Noone can set MY priorities because noone can live them but me.

We choose our values with our eyes open, and we must own the consequences. A rich life is full of trade-offs, determined by what is most valuable to us. Forget the well-intentioned disapproval of others or the self-imposed guilt associated with a loss of “balance.” Let your choices reflect your “most.”

Thanks for the wake-up call, Suzy!

No, it’s not Monday, but I didn’t want Banned Book Week to snuff out MeMyBook&Eye entirely. So, now showing at a special time, it’s 10-10-10 Episode #2!

Suzy Welch’s “life transforming idea” in the book 10-10-10 offers a process for making decisions based on how the consequences measure up in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. The ways in which those consequences influence our core values forms the basis for intentional choices that help us live a life of our own making. I like it.

It’s obvious from a few key chapters in the book that Ms. Welch is well-versed in evaluating the requirements and responsibilities of the working world, and anecdotes from her own experiences are resounding evidence of her understanding of the particular struggles of working women. Chapters Five and Six offer insights and eye-opening examples of how 10-10-10 can be applied effectively to the work arena–both in business strategy and in personal work decisions.

Thoughts on the Value of Work

“Sociologists have long held that work is a primary source of identity in our lives, giving us direction and purpose and serving as the organizing principle of our days.” (pg. 102)

Right there my mind started protesting. I’m a working mother, but wait a minute. Is work really a “primary source of identity.” Sure, a “work ethic” is a litmus test of character, but what about work itself? As I read through Chapter Five I began to realize that somehow my circle of influencers had convinced me that work should be devalued–that it’s value should be set aside, if indeed it had any value in the first place. I realized that, at my core, I really don’t feel that way. I DO see work as valuable–and not just the work that feeds starving children. When it comes to women in the workplace, there is a segment of our culture that perpetrates the concept that women shouldn’t find fulfillment in work. And, all too often, that segment centers in people of faith.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe work should be the “be all and end all” for women, or for any human being for that matter. I don’t wonder why my family can’t appreciate my desire to work. I don’t struggle with what’s most important. My gifts and my home life win hands down. But, I like my work. I enjoy what I do. I find it fulfilling and stimulating. I “identify” many aspects of myself through work, as the sociologists say. And, while it doesn’t necessarily govern my full purpose in life, I do have certain gifts that I want to put to use in the world outside the walls of my precious home base.

Indeed, whatever form an individual’s work takes, be it work in an office, work in a field or work in a home, the act of working is valuable. The act of setting goals and accomplishing tasks is valuable. The act of giving something all you have until it is complete is valuable. The act of resting when it is done is valuable. There is dignity and a commonality with God and creation in the act of work, for even God Himself wills and “work(s) for His good pleasure.”

Sustainable Solutions

I like Suzy Welch’s approach to creating work satisfaction and fulfillment in the traditional job sense. The phrase “sustainable solutions” stood out as important. Sustainable choices and situations are not affected by the passing influx of cash or credit–money or affirmation. In fact, in the three primary considerations Ms. Welch suggests for determining work values, pay day didn’t really factor in at all. She suggested asking the following questions:

1. Does the job allow me to work with “my people?” Or, does it require me to put on a persona? Finding peers and colleagues who share your values and appreciate you for who you are authentically is an important work fulfillment meter.

2. Does my job make me smarter? Stagnant water produces all kinds of stinky organisms that eventually squeeze the life out of a life-giving substance. Fulfillment requires growth. Without it, opportunity dies. Work that challenges us creates a sense of value.

3. Does the work give me meaning? Ms. Welch calls it the “joy factor.” And it’s ok to acknowledge it and search it out.

The Fallacy of Balance

I’m reading a lot about this these days and realizing just how true it is. “Balance” is a myth. I know from experience that working women–working mothers, especially–often spend a lot of time trying to “balance” work and home. The reality, however, is that there can’t be equality among values. Ms. Welch makes the very valid observation that “balance” is about trade-offs. It’s about finding the tipping point at which your life begins to stray from what you want it to be about.

In seeking to line up my roles as employee, manager, wife, mother, friend, homekeeper, [insert yours here], I have to know how my values line up. They can’t all be top priority, and only I can determine how important each one is in creating the overall life of value I want to lead. Something has to take precedence.

Precedence doesn’t mean that at times we won’t shift priorities to accomplish the need of the moment, but we have to keep the “main thing” the main thing (as I remember from my old days in the MSU Baptist Student Union). The 10-10-10 process seems to be a good vehicle for determining when that shift is important and when it is a smokescreen fo guilt, distraction or just plain impulsiveness. Values equal choices. There’s no getting around it. If values are to govern our lives and inspire action, then they will invariably require choices–defacto, conscious or otherwise. Deal with it. And, choose.

All too often we let the opinions or values of others dictate how we set our tipping point–whether it’s a boss or a screaming child or a well-meaning friend. But, noone can really determine my values but me. Noone can set MY priorities because noone can live them but me.

We choose our values with our eyes open, and we must own the consequences. A rich life is full of trade-offs, determined by what is most valuable to us. Forget the well-intentioned disapproval of others or the self-imposed guilt associated with a loss of “balance.” Let your choices reflect your “most.”

Thanks for the wake-up call, Suzy!

© Haley Montgomery
Filed under Day + Day, Reading + Writing | Comment (0)

We interrupt this…

September 28th, 2009

regularly scheduled MeMyBook&Eye post to bring you Banned Books Week sponsored by the American Library Association and supporting the “freedom to read and the importance of the First Amendment.”

“Appropriate” material is deemed in the eye of the beholder. Martin Luther’s translation of the Bible and hymnbooks containing worship songs like “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” were banned and burned by the Roman Catholic Church in the 16th century. What was reformative to some was a threat to others.

There are many types of communications such as child pornography, hate-inciting “speech” and false accusations that are rightfully outlawed by governments because they exploit innocent lives and rob others of basic human rights. However, lifestyles, religious beliefs, and moral decisions are choices I reserve the right to make for myself. If you have questions about the ability of society to formulate a consensus list of what is appropriate, I direct you to #s 4, 13, 22, 26, and 40 on this list of books targeted for banning during the 20th century. Who knew “some pig” could be so offensive?

As a parent and a human being, I respectfully demand the opportunity to choose what is appropriate, wholesome or valuable for myself and my children–my only governing factor, an audience between myself and my God. When the squelching of ideas is permitted, tyranny takes root–for the next “beholder” may deem MY thoughts to be inappropriate. Knowledge is power, and the stories of our time are often told by the powerful. Everyone deserves the freedom to read and write their story.

© Haley Montgomery
Filed under Politics + Social Issues, Reading + Writing | Comment (0)

Monday MeMyBook&Eye: Living by the Numbers Has Juice

September 21st, 2009

There’s a craziness threshold. Everybody has one. You may have slammed into yours like I have at times. It’s the point at which you can no longer pretend, the point at which you are ready for change–no matter the cost.

That precise moment was the catalyst for a refreshing idea life-tested and shared by Suzy Welch in her book 10-10-10. To be honest, I hadn’t heard of 10-10-10 before Ms. Welch sent me a copy of the book to review back in May. But, I was immediately intrigued by the concept just from the subtitle: 10 Minutes 10 Months 10 Years, A Life-Transforming Idea. Once I (tardily) cracked open the covers, I was not disappointed. I decided to use the book for my next selection for the MeMyBook&Eye solo book club.

If you’re new to MeMyBook&Eye, it’s the Junkie’s answer to book clubs. You can read vicariously without the pesky commitments of deadlines, club meetings or hors d’oevres. It’s also my chance to cheat. Sometimes it’s hard to remember all the worthy nuances of a book by the time I get to the end, especially when trying to summarize it in one review. MeMyBook&Eye offers the opportunity to write more about a book I’m excited about WHILE I’m reading it. So, Numbers Episode 1 begin!

Suzy Welch’s 10-10-10 concept is simple but profound in its intentionality. It offers a methodical approach to making decisions that centers on considering consequences in the immediate, the near term and the long term, the goal of which is to enable more deliberate and proactive choices that coincide with our core values. 10 minutes. 10 months. 10 years. By making decisions that reflect our highest values, we can live a more “authentic life”–one that is more transparent and reflective of what really matters to us.

Yep, I think that IS a life-transforming idea. Living by the numbers has juice.

Chock full of real-life examples of people who have put the method to good use, the book offers a primer on how 10-10-10 can work for various areas of life. Although the time required and complexity of the outcomes vary for every decision, Welch proposes a 3-step process that can be applied to any decision-making conundrum:

1. Pose a question. Simplify and boil the decision down to one question.

2. Collect data. Answer the question based on consequences in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.

3. Analyze. Based on your answers, determine the best choice that will put you in line with what you really want your life to be. “Which decision will help me create a life of my own making?”

This process of decision-making not only allows us to make intentional choices, but it gives us a built-in way to explain our reasoning to others should the need arise. It also struck me that 10-10-10 carries potential not only in making wise decisions in the life-changing moments, but it can also serve as the voice of reason in the paralyzingly mundane. Whether I’m prone to impulsive thinking or over-thinking, the 10-10-10 concept can influence my choices so that I’m spending my time and resources on a life I value. Juice, people.

I must say that when I got to chapter 2, my bunk barometer sounded all kinds of alarms. Ms. Welch’s discussion of brain science and the ways 10-10-10 circumvents the evolutionary patterns of human thinking had me rolling my eyes a bit. I’ve never been an evolution gal, and I can’t see where the concepts presented in those passages are anything more than pure hypothesis untested by any stretch of the scientific method. However…

Chapter 3 had me (again) at “chapter.” In it, Ms. Welch confirms the importance of values in the equation. In fact, they are the very crux of the entire concept. Without values, 10-10-10 may still be a good method. But, it would lack the core measuring system of what would actually get us to our goal of a life lived fleshing out what matters most to us.

“It is with values as an integral part of the process that 10-10-10 truly becomes transformative, allowing us to live in sync with our authentic dreams, hopes and beliefs.” (page 53)

Welch also puts her finger on a prevalent condition in our culture she calls the “black hole”–a condition that results from a “lack of values awareness.” There is an unfulfilled emptiness that results when our decisions have no relevance to our values. True. But, there is an even deeper core void that comes when we don’t KNOW our values, when we can’t articulate them. Try as we might, we simply cannot make choices in line with our values if we don’t know what our values are. Life becomes pure experimentation.

This book has challenged me first to commit again to a life of intentionality, to abandon the haphazard in favor of “owning” how my life is structured. Ms. Welch’s insights encouraged me to review my own values system again, to whittle it down to my most basic prerequisites for a living without regret. I was also bolstered to up my courage level, to have the fortitude to actually make and follow through with what I know supports those values.

In a very true observation about people of faith, Ms. Welch commented that many religious people are reluctant to embrace concepts that don’t overtly spring from the Bible. But, as I read the story of her methodology, I couldn’t help but relate it to the idea of “counting the cost” that Jesus spoke of in Luke 14. This process of applying a values system seems a worthy method for doing just that.

The rest of the book shows ways that 10-10-10 can be applied to five key values areas: love, work, parenting, friendship and faith. Stay tuned for Numbers Episode 2 next week (hopefully?) for more on a few of those hot spots.

There’s a craziness threshold. Everybody has one. You may have slammed into yours like I have at times. It’s the point at which you can no longer pretend, the point at which you are ready for change–no matter the cost.

That precise moment was the catalyst for a refreshing idea life-tested and shared by Suzy Welch in her book 10-10-10. To be honest, I hadn’t heard of 10-10-10 before Ms. Welch sent me a copy of the book to review back in May. But, I was immediately intrigued by the concept just from the subtitle: 10 Minutes 10 Months 10 Years, A Life-Transforming Idea. Once I (tardily) cracked open the covers, I was not disappointed. I decided to use the book for my next selection of the MeMyBook&Eye solo book club.

If you’re new to MeMyBook&Eye, it’s the Junkie’s answer to book clubs. You can read vicariously without the pesky commitments of deadlines, club meetings or hors d’oevres. It’s also my chance to cheat. Sometimes it’s hard to remember all the worthy nuances of a book by the time I get to the end, especially when trying to summarize it in one review. MeMyBook&Eye offers the opportunity to write more about a book I’m excited about WHILE I’m reading it. So, let Numbers Episode 1 begin!

Suzy Welch’s 10-10-10 concept is simple but profound in its intentionality. It offers a methodical approach to making decisions that centers on considering consequences in the immediate, the near term and the long term, the goal of which is to enable more deliberate and proactive choices that coincide with our core values. 10 minutes. 10 months. 10 years. By making decisions that reflect our highest values, we can live a more “authentic life”–one that is more transparent and reflective of what really matters to us.

Yep, I think that IS a life-transforming idea. Living by the numbers has juice.

Chock full of real-life examples of people who have put the method to good use, the book offers a primer on how 10-10-10 can work for various areas of life. Although the time required and complexity of the outcomes vary for every decision, Welch proposes a 3-step process that can be applied to any decision-making conundrum:

1. Pose a question. Simplify and boil the decision down to one question.

2. Collect data. Answer the question based on consequences in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.

3. Analyze. Based on your answers, determine the best choice that will put you in line with what you really want your life to be. “Which decision will help me create a life of my own making?”

This process of decision-making not only allows us to make intentional choices, but it gives us a built-in way to explain our reasoning to others should the need arise. It also struck me that 10-10-10 carries potential not only in making wise decisions in the life-changing moments, but it can also serve as the voice of reason in the paralyzingly mundane. Whether I’m prone to impulsive thinking or over-thinking, the 10-10-10 concept can influence my choices so that I’m spending my time and resources on a life I value. Juice, people.

I must say that when I got to chapter 2, my bunk barometer sounded all kinds of alarms. Ms. Welch’s discussion of brain science and the ways 10-10-10 circumvents the evolutionary patterns of human thinking had me rolling my eyes a bit. I’ve never been an evolution gal, and I can’t see where the concepts presented in those passages are anything more than pure hypothesis untested by any stretch of the scientific method. However…

Chapter 3 had me (again) at “chapter.” In it, Ms. Welch confirms the importance of values in the equation. In fact, they are the very crux of the entire concept. Without values, 10-10-10 might still be a good method. But, it would lack the core measuring system of what would actually get us to our goal of a life lived fleshing out what matters most to us.

“It is with values as an integral part of the process that 10-10-10 truly becomes transformative, allowing us to live in sync with our authentic dreams, hopes and beliefs.” (page 53)

Welch also puts her finger on a prevalent condition in our culture she calls the “black hole”–a condition that results from a “lack of values awareness.” There is an unfulfilled emptiness that results when our decisions have no relevance to our values. True. But, there is an even deeper core void that comes when we don’t KNOW our values, when we can’t articulate them. Try as we might, we simply cannot make choices in line with our values if we don’t know what our values are. Life becomes pure experimentation.

This book has challenged me first to commit again to a life of intentionality, to abandon the haphazard in favor of “owning” how my life is structured. Ms. Welch’s insights encouraged me to review my own values system again, to whittle it down to my most basic prerequisites for living without regret. I was also bolstered to up my courage level, to have the fortitude to actually make and follow through with what I know supports those values.

In a very true observation about people of faith, Ms. Welch commented that many religious people are reluctant to embrace concepts that don’t overtly spring from the Bible. But, as I read the story of her methodology, I couldn’t help but relate it to the idea of “counting the cost” that Jesus spoke of in Luke 14. This process of applying a values system seems a worthy method for doing just that.

The rest of the book shows ways that 10-10-10 can be applied to five key values areas: love, work, parenting, friendship and faith. Stay tuned for Numbers Episode 2 next week (hopefully?) for more on a few of those hot spots.

Tues Ten 091509: The Post Behind the Post

September 15th, 2009

Over Labor Day weekend I had the opportunity to do some thinking, brainstorming and evaluating about my blog in between looking after a little one-year-old flu statistic and giving out big-brothers-of-the-year awards. I’m still hammering out the results, but so far they involve some re-thinking of how I approach my writing. I thought I’d share some thoughts as a preface to the “PBP” Tues Ten list.

As you might imagine, I have precious little time to devote to writing, what with 3 preschoolers, a full time job, a house and a family to feed and care for. Even less of that theoretical time is uninterrupted. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The hugs and “I love you”s and DVD changes and “why”s are all little motivators to focus on what really matters.

I started EyeJunkie.com as a creative outlet with just those interruptions in mind. Unlike other creative pursuits I enjoy like painting or crafting or book-making, writing lends itself more easily to the serendipity of day to day living, and requires very few materials. And, from the mundane to the profound to the much sought after to the little noticed, subject matter is all around for the taking.

As I was thinking about my writing habits in general, time constraints seem to be the deciding factor for much of what I envision. I enjoy writing. Time is limited. Facts. I want to make sure I use my time in the way that brings me the most joy. To that end, I decided to re-appropriate my writing time and focus less on writing freelance articles. While I enjoy writing about specific topics, it doesn’t give me the most joy. And, life is too fleeting to choose options of lesser joy. In short, I want to spend less of my “free” time frenzied by a deadline, writing pieces I’m not all that excited about. I’ll be limiting the weekly and monthly commitments I make for article writing in search of more writing joy. Yay!

I hope to focus more attention on this blog as my primary writing outlet, building it with more regular content–writing that gives me fulfillment. Quality writing that earns your trust and support–and maybe even a few of your giggles and tears. I’m sure I’ll fine-tune themes and goals more specifically as I delve in, but suffice it to say that I want to write it for my own joy. I hope it will, in turn, add something to your day as well.

In my brainstorming, I’ve made lots of notes about the post series on this blog–what’s working, what needs extra attention, what I’m tired of. I’m made notes on how to incorporate more of my design work as a supplement to the writing–how to give it a fresh look, how to extend the life of pieces I post, how to share more. I’ve listed out a few hair-brained ideas that may see the light of day at some point. Time will tell. I’m sure I’ll share more “writing about writing” as thoughts gel and turn into some kind of gooey subscriber-worthy confection. Until then, I give you this weeks Tues Ten Twelve: The Post Behind the Post.

The Queen once gave me a book called QBQ: The Question Behind the Question. It is a little book that challenges some of the traditional notions of customer service with a heavy slant toward personal responsibility–a concept I can absolutely get behind. It challenges us to answer the question behind the question in our dealings with others in a business setting and beyond.

So, I listed (in my compulsive list-making sort of way, the way that involves illegible hand-writing) out twelve post subjects or goals that underly much of what I write. Articulating the post behind the post is bood barometer for whether I’m writing for the most joy (woo!) or settling for a lesser joy (bleh!). Hold me accountable with your comments! I love hearing you.

I find the most writing joy and fulfillment when my words:

1. Observe and communicate effectively

2. Tell stories

3. Get real

4. Articulate values

5. Make me laugh

6. Turn the mudane into the profound

7. Find ways that faith intersects with real life

8. Show how kids are gifts that keep on giving

9. Encourage responsibility

10. Share working mom antics we all know, but are reluctant to admit

11. Remind that media and culture are often ridiculous

12. Help me pay attention

Over Labor Day weekend I had the opportunity to do some thinking, brainstorming and evaluating about my blog in between looking after a little one-year-old flu statistic and giving out big-brothers-of-the-year awards. I’m still hammering out the results, but so far they involve some re-thinking of how I approach my writing. I thought I’d share some thoughts as a preface to the “PBP” Tues Ten list.

As you might imagine, I have precious little time to devote to writing, what with 3 preschoolers, a full time job, a house and a family to feed and care for. Even less of that theoretical time is uninterrupted. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The hugs and “I love you”s and DVD changes and “why”s are all little motivators to focus on what really matters.

I started EyeJunkie.com as a creative outlet with just those interruptions in mind. Unlike other creative pursuits I enjoy like painting or crafting or book-making, writing lends itself more easily to the serendipity of day to day living, and requires very few materials. And, from the mundane to the profound to the much sought after to the little noticed, subject matter is all around for the taking.

As I was thinking about my writing habits in general, time constraints seem to be the deciding factor for much of what I envision. I enjoy writing. Time is limited. Facts. I want to make sure I use my time in the way that brings me the most joy. To that end, I decided to re-appropriate my writing time and focus less on writing freelance articles. While I enjoy writing about specific topics, it doesn’t give me the most joy. And, life is too fleeting to choose options of lesser joy. In short, I want to spend less of my “free” time frenzied by a deadline, writing pieces I’m not all that excited about. I’ll be limiting the weekly and monthly commitments I make for article writing in search of more writing joy. Yay!

I hope to focus more attention on this blog as my primary writing outlet, building it with more regular content–writing that gives me fulfillment. Quality writing that earns your trust and support–and maybe even a few of your giggles and tears. I’m sure I’ll fine-tune themes and goals more specifically as I delve in, but suffice it to say that I want to write it for my own joy. I hope it will, in turn, add something to your day as well.

In my brainstorming, I’ve made lots of notes about the post series on this blog–what’s working, what needs extra attention, what I’m tired of. I’m made notes on how to incorporate more of my design work as a supplement to the writing–how to give it a fresh look, how to extend the life of pieces I post, how to share more. I’ve listed out a few hair-brained ideas that may see the light of day at some point. Time will tell. I’m sure I’ll share more “writing about writing” as thoughts gel and turn into some kind of gooey subscriber-worthy confection. Until then, I give you this week’s Tues Ten Twelve: The Post Behind the Post.

The Queen once gave me a book called QBQ: The Question Behind the Question. It is a little book that challenges some of the traditional notions of customer service with a heavy slant toward personal responsibility–a concept I can absolutely get behind. It challenges us to answer the question behind the question in our dealings with others in a business setting and beyond.

So, I listed (in my compulsive list-making sort of way, the way that involves illegible hand-writing) out twelve post subjects or goals that underly much of what I write. Articulating the post behind the post is a good barometer for whether I’m writing for the most joy (woo!) or settling for a lesser joy (bleh!). Hold me accountable with your comments! I love hearing from you.

I find the most writing joy and fulfillment when my words:

1. Observe and communicate effectively

2. Tell stories

3. Get real

4. Articulate values

5. Make me laugh

6. Turn the mudane into the profound

7. Find ways that faith intersects with real life

8. Show how kids are gifts that keep on giving

9. Encourage responsibility

10. Share working mom antics we all know, but are reluctant to admit

11. Remind that media and culture are often ridiculous