Thinking About Rain

It seems like it’s been raining endlessly here in Starkville.  There is literally water standing everywhere, even across the road in some places.  Although I’m trying not to let it dampen (hee hee) my Christmas spirit, I am, at the very least, tired of the gray monotony.  Perhaps Little Drummer Boy said it best in our “good morning prayer” this morning:

Dear God
I pray the rain will stop.
And rain next week…

Hence, my lunchtime doodle above.  The gallery showing of dotted raindrops on my window against bare branches outside and the percussion concert put on by morning showers on my office’s metal roof have made for a visual and audio celebration of rain, despite the gray sky. Rain is such a dichotomy.  We blame it for the flood of gloom and dreariness that invades our spirits, but we are also thankful for the refreshing nourishment it provides in places where growth has become dry.  Both literal and spiritual rain are double-edged. I’ve been procrastinating and letting my mind trickle here and there this morning, somehow puddling around the idea of rain.  Here is a brainstorm of the first 10 rainy song references to pop in my head today:

1.  ”I’m just a little black rain cloud
hovering under the honey tree
only a little black rain cloud
pay no attention to me”
~ Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree, 1966

2.  ”It’s raining, it’s pouring
the old man is snoring
jumped in bed and bumped his head
and couldn’t get up in the morning.”
~ Wikipedia’d to find it’s about a meteorologist named John Dalton.  Who knew?

3.  ”Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion…”
~ Eurythmics, 1984

4.  ”Rainy days and Mondays always get me down”
~ The Carpenters, 1971

5.  ”Singin’ in the rain,
just singin’ in th rain
what a glorious feeling
I’m happy again”
~ Singin’ in the Rain, 1952

6.  ”Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away”
~ Bruce Hornsby,  1986

7.  ”Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
and just like the guy who’s feet are too big for his bed
nothing seems to fit, oh …
~ Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969

8. “It’s raining again
Oh no, my love’s at an end
Oh no, it’s raining again
Too bad I’m losing a friend.”
~ Supertramp, 1982

9. “Human kindness, it’s overflowing
And I think it’s gonna rain today.”
~ Randy Newman

10. “Drip drip drop little April shower
beating a tune as you fall all around
Drip drip drop little April shower
what can compare to your beautiful sound”
~ Bambi, 1942

Bonus Track:
“The sun’ll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There’ll be sun”
~ the musical Annie, 1982

Let me just consult Mr. Weather Channel, and we’ll see!

FaceBook Addiction :\

Yes, it’s just another obsessive episode in the life of the Junkie.  I’m on FaceBook now.  I joined over a year ago, but have been resisting.  Finally I gave in to the request for friendship from a pal in Kentucky sent via Super FaceBook Guy.

I’m thinking that Super FaceBook Guy is really WordPress Dude’s super-hero alter ego.  That WordPress gig is just his clever cyber disguise.  Quiet, unassuming WordPress Dude, twirling his unsuspecting Mark Twain mustache and handling the two or three [!] EyeJunkie alerts each week, leaps into action when the inevitable barrage of FaceBook cyber connections call.  Yep, he dons (a word I learned back in the day from “Deck the Halls” — fa la la!) his trusty cape and organizes all my acquaintances to keep the communication flowing — sort of a combination Franklin-Covey-wishes-he-were-me day planner and souped up shipping and receiving I’m-better-than-FedEx hub for instant delivery of friendship.  What would I do without Super FaceBook Guy there to maintain my wall?  Yep, after he completes his meager WordPress Dude duties, and cops a squat at StarBucks for a large latte, he heads on over to FaceBook admin-central to burn up the bandwidth.  Social networking citizens, rest easy. Super FaceBook Guy never sleeps!  

Clearly, I digress.

So, I’ve been on FaceBook.  I finally added a profile picture (the same one I use everywhere) and even posted a few photos of my kids.  I’ve updated my “status” a few times, sent my friends milk and cookies and holiday cheer, and written on a couple of walls.  I’ve reconnected with my childhood next-door neighbor, a friend from high school, friends from college and even a good friend in my neighborhood.  

What!?!  I live within walking distance of her house, and the first time I’ve seen her THIS YEAR, I think, is on FaceBook.  It gives me pause.  It may be ridiculous and sad, but in the world we’ve built around ourselves, it’s reality.  To our credit, my friend and I are moving up the cyber food chain.  FaceBook friendship has led to actual correspondence via personal email accounts.  At some point, in the time between putting our respective families to bed, cooking and doing dishes and having conversations with the people who actually live in our houses with us, we may break down and share a phone call. For now, we are planning an actual face-to-face meeting–in person, at something like a restaurant where we will actually see one another beyond the frozen profile expression.  I’m thinking that we might even partake of that antiquated gesture, the hug.  SuperPoke that!

Anyway, I’m giving in to the trend.  It’s fun.  The connections are different, but they’re connections.  Whatever it takes, I say!  Carry on my fellow FaceBook addicts, go forth and befriend!

11th Day of Thanksgiving: A Continual Feast

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and the close of my 12 Days of Thanksgiving experiment.  I almost called it a “writing experiment,” but it has really been a “heart experiment”–one that has been very rewarding.  I’ve enjoyed the sense of accomplishment that comes with following through on a personal commitment.  I’ve enjoyed taking the effort, time and discipline to explore what Thanksgiving means.  I’ve enjoyed the simple act of posting to this blog every day.  I’ve enjoyed the anticipation of what I would learn.  And, I’ve enjoyed being thankful.

So, what have I learned?

I started with a prayer, first prayed six years ago when my heart was in a similar place.  Did God answer it?  Let’s see:

1.  I repent of a complaining and murmuring spirit, and ask God’s forgiveness for taking His character and blessings for granted.

A complaining and murmuring spirit cannot co-exist with a grateful heart.  It just doesn’t work that way.  In the act of obedience to give thanks “in everything,” even in difficult circumstances or with difficult relationships, I’ve seen God’s mercy anew.  I can see that the times when I thought God was only providing half way were really times when God had his merciful hand of protection around me, shielding me from the full consequences of bad decisions or bad attitudes.  God’s forgiveness is great, and His restoration is greater.

2.  I ask Him to open my eyes to His goodness that is evident in my life, His faithfulness, His love and mercy.

Over the past week or so, by focusing on Thanksgiving, I’ve realized that there are always things, people and situations to be thankful for.  We never really hit the wall on that one.  Just when we think we’ve reached our saturation point, or added the last item to “the list,” our eyes are opened to something new–if we are paying attention.  The unpopular reality is that despair and disappointment is optional.  A grateful heart can always provide us a way out, if we choose to re-focus our eyes to see it.  As I was reminded in reading Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving proclamation, even in the moments we are most insensitive to God’s hand, the magnitude of His blessing overwhelms us.  Thanksgiving is a continual feast, should we choose to partake. 

3.  I choose the thank Him for what He shows me.  I thank Him for His works.  I thank Him for His character.

It is my choice.  Thanksgiving requires a decision on my part.  It requires an effort, an action.  A “thank you.”  Those words, spoken from a re-focused heart are life-changing.  Submission to God and obedience to His commands to be thankful are freeing.  And, it clears my vision to be able to see God’s true character.  God has shown me again so much about His staying power.  In the 5th Day and the 8th Day’s meditations, in particular, God revealed again through His word just how much I have to be thankful for in knowing a God so great.

4.  I ask that this Thanksgiving season be a new turning point in my relationship with God.  Let me “enter Your courts this season.” 

Yes, my heart is saying, “let me enter.”  Thanksgiving has unlocked and swung open the gate revealing the true character of the Almighty.  Praise, motivated by a grateful heart, ushers me into His courts, the place where His character can reign in my life, and in all things.  Psalm 100 has proven true.  Through a season of shying away from God, I’ve come to a moment of drawing near.  And, I’m resting as the verse in James is fulfilled: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (james 4:8)

Thank you, God, for lessons taught and lessons learned today.  Thank you for your patience in teaching them again and again.  Thank you for the light of your presence in our lives.  Thank you for your unending love and mercy that protects, comforts and sustains us.  Bless you, sir.

Amen.

9th Day of Thanksgiving: The List

Last Friday, Hub and I attended Little Drummer Boy’s Thanksgiving program at day care and enjoyed a selection of turkey songs, his turkey headdress, a little day-dreaming, a great deal of jumping, and ham and cheese sandwiches.  It was our first “program” complete with all the fun we expected in a 3-year-old’s performance.  They did great. Their teachers did GREAT, and we captured it all on film.  Little Drummer Boy has now added HIS “movie” to the favorite list and enjoys giggles from the audience at each showing.

As part of the decorations in the Fellowship Hall, the teachers for each class had hung posters with lists of what the children said they were thankful for.  As you can imagine, the lists included everything from frogs to Spider Man to cheetos.  My Little Drummer Boy was thankful for “Mommy and Daddy.”  Right back atcha, sweet one!  In the grand tradition of preschool “What I’m thankful for” lists, my observance of the 12 Days of Thanksgiving would not be complete without a list or two of my own.  This one includes the silly, the sweet and the soul-searching of my life.  I tried to split it out, so as not to muddy up the serious with the superficial, but you know, life’s little Thanksgiving pageant just isn’t like that.  So, here goes (in no particular order. actually, in the order I thought of them, which is not particular)…

3.  Little Drummer Boy, Squiggle & Baby Girl — I start with (3) in Squiggle Man’s tradition because to separate them would suggest a first and last, and I could never decide that.
4.  Hub — his knowledge of 80’s rap and all manner of toddler wrestling moves, his commitment to follow hard after God and to work hard despite disappointment
5.  My Family — their generosity, their love of traditions, their commitment to celebration, their pecan pie
6.  Laptops — daily Mac love
7.  WordPress — autosave, comment approval and spam catching widgets
8.  BlueHost — and it’s cheap hosting
9.  McDonald’s playland — chicken nuggets, family time and some “outside time” even on a rainy Sunday
10.  My Day Job — and the Queen who reigns there
11.  Cheesy Dogs & Tator Tots — my own little 30-minute meal, including the 50 stops to soothe tears, referee toy ownership, find pup-pup, start Dora, converse with Hub (rare!), bounce Baby Girl, move Buddy (the cat), find Noah and Jim (citizens of Little People land), fill juice cups, find pup-pup again, etc, etc.
12.  Ore Ida Steam N’ Mash Potatoes — Wow!  My favorite new product.  I can make homemade mashed potatoes (the rare food everyone loves) without peeling, chopping or boiling.
13.  Fallen leaves — and their crunch, the sound that immediately immerses me mentally and emotionally  in everything I love about Autumn
14.  The Internet — finding at least something about almost anything
15.  Simon & Garfunkel Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes, Baby Limas & Corn Bread — delicious.  the meal that makes me feel like I’m cooking like a Mama
16.  Our House — the fun of making it our own, the joy of giving our kids a place they belong, the realization that even if we didn’t have it, we would still have everything
17.  God’s Word — truth, solace, encouragement, instruction, admonition, past, present, future
18.  Giggles — and their abundance
19.  Saturdays — the day we “get to spend the whole day together”
20.  The Question “Why?” — and the opportunities for conversation it brings, 537 times a day
21.  God’s Mercy — boundless redemption from mistakes and wayward steps
22.  A Baby in the House — her smiles and coos, the bonding of nursing her, watching her recognize her own hands, letting her fall asleep on my shoulder
23.  Boys — the every day learning curve of truck horns, animal roars, constant movement, drum beats, tall towers, and the dream of the men they will be
24.  The Quietness of 11 o’clock — the peace of seeing them all asleep with arms sprawled or knees pulled under, and a few moments to myself.  it’s worth the loss of sleep.
25.  Laying my Head on the Pillow — in the hope that I’ve given each moment it’s due, trusting God to prune, fertilize and water what’s been done

4th Day of Thanksgiving: Nacho Love

Yep, over a handful of Doritoes the other day, I started recording my thoughts pen to napkin with cheese dust and all. They inspired me to seize the moment and go low-tech–although I prefer to think of it as grass-roots thought processing.  I was having some homemade “nachos” and thinking about how good they were.

When it comes to what inspires a grateful heart, sometimes we forget about the little things and the simple pleasures they bring.  For a few moments on Monday, squished in between pumping for breast milk, zooming across town to work and the umpteen details flying through my brain, I was very thankful for nacho cheese Doritoes–their yummy crunch and the orange cheese dust they leave on your fingers.  They brought a momentary jolt of “Mmmm” to the morning and a yummy contentment.  It’s amazing the delight a simple lunch can bring when, just for today, you throw food groups to the wind and settle on something you might have chosen as a pre-teen. With no husband or children’s nutritional health to consider, I indulged myself in Doritoes, cheese and bacon bits for 15 minutes of no dietary accountability.  It got me thinking about some of the other “brands” we buy that provide similar simple pleasures–the names that routinely up our level of contentment.  Most aren’t necessities.  But, I appreciate the “extra” they add to my life.  Here’s my “thanks” list:

1.  Doritoes:  My favorite go-to snack is a pan full of the cheese clad triangles with grated sharp cheddar and bacon bits on top.  I broil them for a few seconds, and my taste buds sing with crunchy gratitude.

2.  Huggies:  I know it’s not “green,” and I realize that my family has it’s own personalized plot at the land fill.  Nevertheles, I’m thankful for these life-saver diapers and pull-ups that make the daily “tee tee” and “doo doo” of life a little more bearable.

3.  Apple:  My parents gave me a Mac iBook in April and it’s amazing how much unexpected convenience and fun it’s provided–like this blog, a way to do my day job when kids are home sick, and an organized address book.  Life’s little plus signs.

4.  Hersheys:  Need I say more?

5.  Lipton:  Their family size decaf tea bags gave me my much needed sweet tea fix during pregnancy and now while I’m breastfeeding Baby Girl.  Key word = Decaf.  Three tea bags, four scoops of sugar and one gallon jug of water.  Ahhh!

6.  Vietri:  This company makes the “everyday” china we got when we married–Cucina Fresca in “saffron and sage” and the creamy Fiori de Bosci ”Italian earthenware” patterns.  The combo works well together and I like the variety.  I have almost a full 12 place settings combined.  And, yes, my toddlers use them.  Little Drummer Boy prefers green.

7.  Fisher Price: Thank you for hours of imaginative play and made up story lines with Little People Farm, Little People Noah’s Ark, Little People Airplane, Little People First Thanksgiving, Little People Nativity, Little People Garage, Little People Dump Truck…  Shall I go on?

8.  Hallmark:  In addition to the great musical cards my kids love, the Peanuts valentines and the great holiday ho-ho trims, I am especially excited this year because my entry into the myHoliday Product Red card contest was selected as a top 20 finalist!  I’m thankful for much-needed prize bucks, and the ego boost of seeing my design in print with the Hallmark logo!  Go here to vote for a winner and buy cards.

9.  Sesame Workshop:  I am in awe of the talents of Kevin Clash and his ability to entertain the 39-year-old, 36-year-old, 3 1/2-year-old and 2-year-old in our house with falsetto and a goldfish.  The 2-month-old has even started to get interested.  I’m thankful for all things Elmo (or ‘Mo as Squiggle calls him)!

10.  Crayola:  ”Washable” sums it up for us.  Their easy-to-clean crayons, markers and paint have helped produce some of the masterpieces that grace our walls.  They come off counter-tops and t-shirts.  Even Little Drummer Boy’s favorite red.  An added bonus for Squiggle is that they come in a box he can load and unload repeatedly.

11.  Dreft:  Gentle and unscented for baby’s protection, this stuff packs a punch in the washing machine.  It’s great at cleaning spit-up, throw-up, mud and red marker (see #10).  I’m thankful that it gives me the freedom to say, “it’s ok, we can wash it.”  

12.  Adobe:  Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Freehand–these are tools of my trade.  I’m thankful for “text-flow,” “paste-inside,” “flip horizontal,” and “check links sitewide.”  And, I’m thankful that “undo” daily removes the fear of experimentation and makes mistakes easy to erase.  If only the rest of life carried such a function!

Blog Noshin’

Serendipity!  I was checking my email this morning and found a message from WordPress Dude.  Actually, it was from my handy-dandy WordPress application.  I like to envision that there is a tiny little WordPress man in there firing off meaningful communication about my posts.  In my mind, he’s sort of a kind but straight-shooting newspaper man version of Kermit THE Frog + Mark Twain + James Qwilleran from the “Cat Who” series, but my inner geek reminds me he’s just an auto-responder.  Back to the story.  

There was an alert for a ping back from Blog Nosh magazine.  Hmmm.  My interest was piqued. BlogNosh.com is an online magazine highlighting blog posts from here, there and everywhere.  I’ve enjoyed reading it, and the designer in me likes how they’ve carried the whole noshin’ concept throughout.  An added bonus is that the site is edited by real people–other bloggers who also scour their in-boxes and the internet for “delicious” content.  I’ve submitted a couple of posts to various channel editors over the last few months.

So, I was checking my email this morning.  Low and behold, WordPress Dude delivers the announcement that BlogNosh.com is linking to me.  Ding.  Has an article been published?

Yes!  My article about Darfur and the Beijing Olympics has been posted front and center.  There is a collection of someones out there, and at least one of them is reading my “stuff.”  Thanks, Blog Nosh, for the encouragement and the needed motivation to keep on writing.

Oops.  There goes baby BabyGirl’s nursing alarm.  My “I’m a writer” ego-trip is now over.  I’m back in the bus to more pressing alerts of the non-homogenized variety.

Gift Tag: Mommy’s Lap

My little Drummer Boy did not get a nap today.  It was day 7 in one of those weeks.  There has been a lot of excitement around our house.  Last Monday I went for my weekly doctor visit to check on Miss Baby M, and he decided it would be time to induce us at 38 weeks.  That means that when I go to the doctor tomorrow, we’ll find out what day THIS week our baby “seester” will make her arrival.

We’ve been scrambling around, getting all manner of pink baby items, and putting the semi-finishing touches on the nursery.  Mommy’s been working from home instead of going to the office, and getting more uncomfortable by the minute.  Daddy’s been taking over a few more parts of the daily routine than he had already taken over.  Little Drummer Boy and Baby Squiqqle Man have been slam dancing between spontaneous tears, random throwing of toys, mini tantrums and the sweetest blown kisses, slobbered kisses and hugs they’ve been holding in their pockets all day you’ve ever seen.  We know that confusion and insecurity are running rampant.  We know that even though Little Drummer Boy has an amazing vocabulary for which we can take no credit and Squiggle Man knows way more words than we give him credit for, they can rarely articulate what is really going on inside.  We’ve been watching, asking questions, guessing, soul-searching, and giving it a try for quite a few months now–go back to watching and repeat ad infinitum.  Change is hard, no matter how many years you have under your belt.

My Little Drummer Boy has had an extra dose of change lately.  Two weeks ago, he moved up to a new preschool class–new teachers, new schedules, still not wanting to put his tee tee in the potty, but everybody talking about it.  One week ago, he started his first “extra-curricular” activity–an AWANA “Cubbies” club where he’s meeting new friends, more new teachers, and learning Bible verses (doing a great job, I might add!)  Plus, he actually knows what it means to anticipate being a new big brother.  He’s already done it once.  

So, he didn’t get a nap today.  That means he was practically falling asleep at dinner, and I was putting him in bed early.  We read our books, found our blanket and puppy, turned on the music and listened to Mommy sing.  I thought he would fall asleep while I rubbed his back, but then it began: 

Drummer:  “Mommy…”

Me:  “Mmmm Hmmm?”

Drummer:  “I want to sit in your lap.”

Ok, I’m paying attention now.  Requesting to sit in my lap is uncommon these days now that he’s such a BIG 3-year-old– usually reserved for “bo bo” comfort or coersion (read bribery) from Mommy.  I knew this did not bode well for a speedy bedtime, but it was a treat I couldn’t pass up.

He climbed over in my lap, which Miss Baby M has shrunk considerably at this point.  Aside from some of my mandatory hugs, he didn’t cuddle or put his head on my shoulder.  He was content just to sit.  Then, he looked at me and smiled–a couple of times.

Me:  “Why are you smiling?”

Drummer:  “I’m happy.”

Me:  “Why are you happy?”

Drummer:  “I’m happy for you, Mommy.”

Me:  “Why are you happy for me?”

Drummer:  “I’m sitting in your lap.”

It was a crystal clear moment.  I saw deep into his heart, and was dumbfounded by how little it took to get there.  I knew he meant he was happy ABOUT being in my lap.  It was instantaneous security, peace, clarification, and love for him.  I told him how proud I was of him, how thankful we were on the day he was born, what a good big brother he was, and how much bigger Mommy’s lap would be in just a few more days.  And, just as quickly, the moment was gone. My Little Drummer Boy “wasn’t tired” anymore, and we would live to convince him otherwise in another hour or so.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.” (psalm 90:12)

Yes, it was a crystal clear moment.  One that underscored a realization that there is no better barometer of wise priorities than to center ourselves in this moment in this place to do what counts most–even if it’s just postponing bedtime for a little laptime.  Although, my Little Drummer Boy misused his preposition, I was actually happy FOR me.  It was instantaneous peace, clarification and love.  I saw deep into my own heart, and was dumbfounded again by the recognition that the best of my whole world can be found in the space of just a few rooms.

Gift Tags are the tiny messages God continues to include with our gifts — 2 little boys and the anticipation of 1 little girl, each with open eyes, open ears, open hearts, and much to teach. “Behold children are a gift of the Lord…” (psalm 127:1)

The Vendors

as I come from the train, they all appear
offering their wares to see and buy:
a cup of hurry, a bag of fear,
a handful of nothings, a schedule to apply.

I stand at their carts distracted and drawn
from my chosen route to the vendor’s stand
I spend all I have on what is shown
and go my way with my nothings in hand.

along the path there’s a merchant I meet.
a craftsman, he too has items to sell:
a coat made of love, jewels of peace,
shoes full of wisdom, treasures avail.

I stand at the treasures, empty, unkept.
I long to buy, but I’ve nothing to spend.
I stopped at the vendors, and all that is left
is a fist full of nothings piercing my hand.