Monday MeMyBook&Eye: Geek Episode 1

Welcome to Geek Episode 1 of the MeMyBook&Eye solo book club. (Point-click your membership card to the left.) As you know from here and here, I’m reading Bringing Up Geeks by Marybeth Hicks. And, in case you didn’t know, geek is the new cool.

In just over 300 pages, Mrs. Hicks advocates an approach to parenting that rejects the “culture of cool” so prevalent in our society and advocates raising “genuine, enthusiastic, empowered kids.” And, from what I’ve read so far, it makes A LOT of sense.

“My goal with these ten geek strategies is to launch a child-rearing movement that promotes innocence over exploitation, substance over style, and genuine self esteem over superficial acceptance. I hope they inspire you toward your most courageous, effective, and satisfying parenting experience.” (pg. 24)

Eighty-something pages in and, yep, I’m inspired.

I had to laugh at Mrs. Hicks’ opening story about a fellow school mom who took great issue with Marybeth’s description of her own children as geeks. After the experience she said, “I trudged back to the van, all the while wondering why it was so important to that mom that my children be popular.” (pg. 2) Why, indeed? As the book makes the case, popularity today equals a sort of pseudo-adulthood. Knowledge equals popularity, being in the know (and often in the experience) about culture–what’s big in celebrities, movies, fashion, toys, girls and boys. In pondering (and deciphering) my notes, three thoughts from the opening chapter completely got me on board the geek train.

Popularity is learned by example.
The start of Bringing Up Geeks reminded me that although every person wants to be liked, children don’t come out defining popularity in terms of social culture. They learn the importance of popularity by example. In my mind, there is a clear distinction between the desire to be loved and the desire to be liked. The desire to be loved (which transcends popularity) is something we are born with. The desire to be liked is something different. Sadly, I think it’s often the parent’s ideas of what constitutes popularity that begin a child’s quest.

Even at my kids’ young ages, I see lots of parents rushing them through their innocence, rushing past Winnie the Pooh and Elmo, and on toward Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. It’s not always easy to go against that flow. As Mrs. Hicks put it, “raising uncool kids takes effort.” (pg. 2) And, in my limited preschool experience, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Childhood is important.
“A geek is an empowered kid enjoying an innocent childhood.” (pg. 5) There is a normal process of maturity that culture often tries to circumvent. It rushes our children past preschool into some mini-size version of adolescence and then on to a pretend version of adulthood.

But, that process is short-sighted. It produces an artificial maturity without the true skills for wise choices. I want to think long-term with my boys and Baby Girl. I want to start raising them NOW to be the kind of grown-ups I’ll admire when the time comes–real, productive, powerful, compassionate adults, not a cheaper Hollywood version.

My kids are more than culture expects them to be.
Look around. Culture has set the bar so incredibly low for my children. They can’t be expected to behave. They can’t be expected to sit still. Asking them to speak and act with respect might hurt their tender feelings. They can’t learn when they’re in the “terrible twos.”

Wait a minute. My kids are better than that. They deserve better than that. As Mrs. Hicks reminded me, “I’m convinced our kids will meet us where we expect to find them.” (pg. 21) I want to expect more than what culture tells me I can. And to do that, I have to be even more relentless than culture is. The time and energy I neglect to spend in protecting their childhoods will be quickly filled by a culture that is relentless in pursuing and having its way with my kids.

Uh uh. Not on my watch.

Needless to say, I am completely inspired to master culture in the life of my family, rather than be mastered by it. I’m resolved to be my kids’ champion by raising my level of expectations beyond what culture says is important and acceptable. Because I believe my children can accomplish more.

Thanks, Marybeth! Stay tuned for MeMyBook&Eye Geek Episode 2. It’s thoughts on raising a “brainiac” and a sheltered kid–GEEK rules #1 and 2.

*Updated: Read Geek Episode 2