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MIPOTW: Conversation
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This installment of the ever-acronymed Most Interesting Phrase of the Week comes from the post Dana Rudolph wrote over at Mombian.com about my piece for “Blogging for LGBT Families Day.” I’ve already extoled the joys of the experience, but this quote from her article seems particularly on-target well beyond gay marriage and LGBT issues.
It is easy, in these days of rallies and ranting, to get the impression that change happens for those who shout the loudest. That sometimes works, but more often, I think, change happens in these quiet conversations.
Deep-rooted change happens through conversation–equal opportunity conversations with those near and far. There is a lot of shouting in our culture, a lot of shouting in our media, in our politics, in our social debate, in our entertainment. Sometimes, there’s a lot of shouting in our workplaces and homes. Shouting is most often about being heard, not about hearing. It has the illusion of talking to, but is really talking at. Conversation can’t exist without hearing. When you remove listening from the equation, conversation turns into monologue. Get enough monologues going on at the same time and each one starts to out-volume the other in competition for the final word. Yes, there’s a lot of shouting in our culture, and not nearly enough quiet conversation. In the quietness is where we find God and where we find each other. I’m ready to start looking.
© Haley Montgomery5 Responses to “MIPOTW: Conversation”
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well said.
Thanks, Haley! Glad you liked the quote. I appreciate your expansion of it. Well put.
Looking forward to further discussions, Dana!
Hi, Haley,
I wanted to make sure you saw this post from Blogging for LGBT Families Day. (I’ve written my own post about it here.) The author is a lesbian and a Christian, and talks about a friend of hers who nevertheless voted Yes on Prop 8. It reminds me a lot of your post and how these matters of politics, belief, and friendship are very often more gray than black and white.
Dana –
Thanks! Jessica actually added a comment on my blog with the link and I’ve read her post. It is indeed a remarkable story of friendship and its hard-fought gray areas. The power of the relationship she described is how much loyalty exists there despite the differences. (I loved her playground analogy!)
In many ways I think the legalities are the more superficial side of the issue (although I know the rights and privileges they represent are core level ones). But, as you alluded, it’s where faith and friendship intersect that the true wrestling (and possibility of change) occurs. For MOST of the “conservative” movement I see, the breakdown occurs with the friendship step. So often, they can’t get past the LGBT label to see or know a person and their situation. Once the friendship hurdle is crossed, it’s a whole new ballgame. When your beliefs have to play out in the lives of people you like and care about, you take more care in getting it right.
My whole thought process on the issue started because I saw a glimpse of Polly and her family. It touched me in the common areas of mothers (and Babas) beyond lesbian or straight. I found myself wanting her to be able to be legally married. I want her to have what she wants, to be able to make that choice. So, I started examining my beliefs more carefully on the issue to see how they really matched up with that.
I’m rambling, as I’m prone. Thank you for continuing the discussion. It is a delight and important.