God, Who Searches

“and they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. then the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘where are you?’“ (psalm 3:8-9)

Isn’t this one of the saddest scenes in all of history? But, it seems to be an eternal picture of man’s relationship with God. Because of sin, whether it is pride, self-centeredness, self-sufficiency, misplaced priorities or old-fashioned disobedience, we continually seek to hide ourselves from God.

How sobering to think of that moment when Adam realized that God knew their fellowship had been broken, and that his hiding was utterly useless. It must have been a tremendous blow for him to hear the question, “where are you?” and to realize that he was stuck in the swamp of sin instead of walking in the garden in the cool of the day with his Creator. Yet, how like man to seek an inadequate refuge among the trees–the place where he made his choice clear, the place where he sought a substitute satisfaction for the hole only God can fill–as if that place of self-deception could somehow measure up to the selfless wisdom of the Almighty.

I can imagine what it was like in Eden before Adam and Eve sinned. They were one with one another and one with God. There was no conflitct there, no divided loyalties, no distractions. It is clear to me from the story of creation that God looked on them with purely adoring eyes. No labor was involved in love. Fellowship was without a price. After sin, His love required a labor, a sorrow, and fellowship had a hefty price tag. If God had not been God, He might have said, “forget it!” But, in that moment, when the object of his affection ran to hide, God put Calvary on his calendar for 33 A.D. Then, He set about finding His people. In Luke 15, Jesus spoke about the joy a shepherd has in reclaiming his lost sheep. Where once His joy was simply in our existence, now it comes to fruition in the act of finding, when our fellowship is restored.

I see in my life a lot of hiding from God, a fruitless tendency. This blog, like my on-and-off journal, although a wonderful outlet for sharing my thoughts and focusing my attention, offers the perfect amount of self-censorship required to give me the luxury of skirting some heart issues. Then, God reminds me that hiding is my nature. It’s what I do, as a human. And, though my time among the trees is never out of his ever-present vision, it must be my choice and conscious decision to be found.

You see, if I spend time with Him out of duty, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in my religion for my fellowship with God. Jesus said in Luke 15:7, that “there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over 99 righteous persons who need no repentance.”

If I spend time with Him because other Christians I know do, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in my status for my fellowship with God. Paul wrote in Colossians 3 that there is no distinction among believers, but “Christ is all and in all.”

If I spend time with Him to keep up appearances, then I am really only hiding. I am trusting in temporary and fleeting popularity for my fellowship with God. But, Jesus said in Matthew 23, “woe to you, scribes and pharisees, you hypocrites, for you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.”

Every moment of my life, especially the time I choose to spend with God, involves a decision not to hide. He searches for me. He often whispers in my ear, “where are you?” But, only I can choose to be found. Only I can choose to respond to His question. Only I can abandon the futility of life among the trees. Only I can embrace His inevitable presence.

“Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up. You understand my thought from afar. Where can I go from your Spirit? Or, where can I flee from your presence? Even the darkness is not dark to you, and the night is as bright as the day.” (psalm 139:1-2, 7, 12)