Doo Doo Chronicles: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Dear John,

I don’t mean to dump this on you suddenly, but really, it can’t come as a surprise.  It’s something that’s been building deep inside for a while.  Our relationship just doesn’t really seem to be going anywhere.  Our time together has slowed to nothing more than a trickle every day–and just when I was starting to get into the big stuff.  I know we told everyone we would be spending more regular time together, but things just keep getting messier and messier.  It’s just that every time I’m ready to deal with something really big, you’re nowhere to be found.  You know what they say: “fools flush in.”  I think maybe I just sat on this thing a little too quickly.

I know it’s partly my fault.  A relationship like this takes commitment, but right now I’m at the point in my life where I’m more interested in playing (in) the field–and the patio, and the living room, and the toy box.  I don’t know.  Our time together has been good, clean fun, but I really miss my pull-ups.  You know, they’ve really been there for me–long before you came along, especially when I had a big load to deal with.

I know what you’re thinking.  Everyone in my life thought we really had something going, and I did too.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not flushing the whole thing.  I’d still like to hang with you.  I just really need to be around my pull-ups when I get the urge to let go.  Maybe you can just go with the flow for a while.  One of these days I’ll grow up and turn four.  Then, maybe I’ll be ready to commit to the long-term relationship everyone was hoping for.  Until then, thanks for understanding.  I hope we can still be friends.  Maybe we can go bowl-ing sometime real soon.

Sincerely
Little Drummer Boy