CultureSpeak: “SMALLey”

Cultural Context: Today, FoxNews.com chose to feature one of it’s opinion pieces in which the unknown author compared President Obama’s so-called “apologetic” foreign policy approach to the philosophy of Saturday Night Live’s fictional Stuart Smalley.  The story was introduced by this statement…

In contrast to Bush’s ‘cowboy diplomacy,’ Obama administration’s apologetic foreign policy tone seems to be based on Stuart Smalley: ‘Doggonit, people like me.’

And by this doctored camera still from Saturday Night Live showing Al Franken dressed as his Stuart Smalley persona with the president’s picture in his mirror reflection.

Warning.  The following has rant qualities.

Normally in this column I would insert a link to the story here, but honestly, I just can’t bring myself to send any more readers than necessary to that dismal attempt at “fair and balanced.”  If you really want to find the article, go to the opinion tab and use the search feature–key word: ridiculous.

I’ll admit it.  I regularly check in with FoxNews.com and sometimes CNN.com or NYTimes.com or LATimes.com throughout the day while I’m at work.  I like to take a look at the day’s news and keep myself informed of what’s going on outside the Mississippi borders.  But, my browse of the Fox News website this afternoon so annoyed me that I’m seriously considering banning them from my Safari bookmark bar.  Because today, I’m convinced that saying Fox “News” is quite a charitable description.

You see, at the risk of being redundant, I go there to check out the news.  I said NEWS.  Unfortunately, once again I was subjected to another one of the network’s attempts at being clever in an opinion piece masquerading as a top news story.  The opinion was linked from the doctored image you see above which was strategically placed in their look-at-me-I’m-important-news spot in the top left corner. It was the largest non-advertising photo above the virtual fold, rivaled only by the very orange AT&T ad spot. [I'm responsible for the big ol' "X" on the image because I don't want the casual web page skimmer to mistake this poor excuse of an "analysis" for something I'm actually endorsing.]

When I clicked through to the actual article editorial, I was particularly annoyed that there was no byline, only an annonymous “Foxnews.com.”  If you’re going to put this out there and call it the afternoon’s top story, the least you can do is own it.  The article begins with the statement, “Call it your daily affirmation.”  Aside from Stuart Smalley, what does that mean?  To Fox News, I mean.  Because I know what it’s affirming to me, almost daily–the fact that this conservative mouthpiece has increasingly turned into a sensationalist, attention-hungry, joe-cool, journalism school amnesiac.

Fox News, take this down.  Opinion does not equal news. New media or not, headlines do not equal respect.  Please begin to report the news.  Please stop your incessant attempts to channel TMZ.  Please refrain from presenting your cultural metaphors as news. Your “Smalley” opinion was not top news.  It was SMALL.  And, by that, I mean it was small.  Journalistically itty bitty. A pitiful excuse for a thinking-conservative’s slant.  A don’t-quit-the-day-job attempt at humor.  A skirt-the-issue-by-making-fun cheap shot.  And, probably a copyright or intellectual property violation.

Times are tough. The issues are serious. Please stop telling the president to get real on terrorism and nuclear weapons and the economy and the tax burden and AIG — and START getting real on terrorism, nuclear weapons, the economy, the tax burden and AIG.