Evidence of Spring

It’s late October and in Mississippi, just today, we’ve started to get a touch of truly Fall weather.  I believe it’s the first day that the temperature is expected to stay in the mid-sixties with a low in the lower forties tonight.  It’s cloudy and a little drizzly.  My boys are excited to have our pumpkins and scarecrows out on the porch and throughout the house.  I’m one of those decorate-for-every-season types, and I love this time of year.  My birthday is October 28th, so the month has become almost like New Year’s Day for me. Internally, it represents family celebrations, the start of a season of evaluating the year, a relief from the oppressive doldrums brought on by summer’s heat, and a renewed, crisp attitude toward the tasks at hand. Although the rest of the world outside may be preparing for a season of dormancy, Autumn always seems more like a fresh start for me–sort of like Spring in October.  

This October, however, there has been a dampening of my enthusiasm and spirit.  I’ve been a little down-trodden, wrestling with my insides and trying to navigate a challenging time for our family.  An amalgamation of overwhelming financial and work concerns, confusing parenting concerns and the upcoming bittersweet end of my maternity leave has shaken my defenses against discouragement.  I can normally readily find hope and faith despite the challenges, but this October I feel shaken.  We are at a time when it is hard to discern what God is doing in our lives, where he is taking our family.

This morning I read a post from a friend and fellow-blogger that was like rain for me.  It brought fresh evidence of God’s hand and reminded me of one of my favorite re-aligning, faith-building verses:

“So, let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.  His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like rain, like the spring rain watering the earth.” (hosea 6:9)

Kristi writes a blog called To Walk on Fertile Ground and has also published a book with the same title about her walk with God through cancer and infertility.  The post marks the 5-year anniversary of the day she found out she had cancer on the heels of a molar pregnancy.  Her walk through the experience has truly been inspiring.

Three astounding sentences produced a shower in my soul:

It’s been 5 years ago today that cancer entered my life, which took me on a new path of unexpected joy, peace, and grace.  And today, I am thankful for that unexpected time in my life.  That’s when I began planting a new garden that daily teaches me how to live a fertile life through my infertility.

What a powerful and rare statement.  In it, God came to me like rain, just as the verse said.  It was an encouragement to look for a path of joy, despite the confusion, conflict or worry around me.  It was a challenge to embrace even the unseen path with the full understanding that our Creator and Savior is certain–as certain as the dawn.  Rain brings about hope, refreshment, growth, and bloom.  Even those of us with children have glaring areas of infertility in our lives.  They are areas where we feel stifled and stagnant, or where the hope of beautiful blooms has been choked by weeds of despair, uncertainty, sorrow or confusion.  Facing that overgrown ground, I must press on with God, even if it takes a little convincing and arm-twisting.   There is hope.  Those areas can be cultivated into abundant, fertile gardens for His glory.   Only He can provide the nourishing rain necessary to sprout the blooms.  And, He will.